Red, White & Royal Blue
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Read between July 16 - July 30, 2023
3%
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gag. “In his dreams.” “Aw,” Nora
5%
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“As your mother, I can appreciate that maybe this isn’t your fault, but as the president, all I want is to have the CIA fake your death and ride the dead-kid sympathy into a second term.”
5%
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you can hate the heir to the throne all you want, write mean poems about him in your diary, but the minute you see a camera, you act like the sun shines out of his dick,
10%
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Whatever, fine. Henry is annoyingly attractive. That’s always been a thing, objectively. It’s fine.
16%
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casterly rock?
jenna (taylor’s version)
GOT
17%
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You are the thistle in the tender and sensitive arse crack of my life.
17%
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tell shaan i say hi and i miss that sweet sweet ass xoxoxo HRH Prince Dickhead I will not.
19%
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yo there’s a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe HRH Prince Dickhead I BEG YOU TO NOT
23%
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“C’mon, it’s, like, in the hips. You have to loosen up.” He reaches down and puts both hands on Henry’s hips, and Henry instantly tenses under the touch. “That’s the opposite of what I said.” “Alex, I don’t—” “Here,” Alex says, moving his own hips, “watch me.” With a grave gulp of champagne, Henry says, “I am.”
25%
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“Christ, you are as thick as it gets,” he says, and he grabs Alex’s face in both hands and kisses him.
25%
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the stupidest thing of all is that he’s straight. Like, he’s pretty sure he’s straight.
jenna (taylor’s version)
he’s spiraling
25%
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or that one time Liam reached over, and Alex didn’t stop him.
jenna (taylor’s version)
BABESSSS NONE OF THIS IS AT ALL STRAIGHT
26%
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Straight people, he thinks, probably don’t spend this much time convincing themselves they’re straight.
31%
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“I think her name was Amy?”
jenna (taylor’s version)
we love amy
32%
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In an instant of sudden, vivid clarity, he can’t believe he ever thought he was straight.
50%
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“Just so we’re clear,” Alex says, “I’m about to have sex with you in this storage closet to spite your family. Like, that’s what’s happening?”
50%
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Henry, who has apparently been carrying his travel-size lube with him this entire time in his jacket, says, “Right,” and tosses it over his shoulder. “Awesome, fuckin’ love doing things out of spite,” he says without a hint of sarcasm, and he kicks Henry’s feet apart.
54%
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“Okay,” he repeats. “All right. Um. So, I’ve realized I’m not straight. I’m actually bisexual.” Her expression clears, and she laughs, unclasping her hands. “Oh, that’s it, sugar? God, I was worried it was gonna be something worse!” She reaches across the table, covering his hand with hers. “That’s great, baby. I’m so glad you told me.”
jenna (taylor’s version)
perfect reaction, thank you president 🙏🙏
55%
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The phrase “see attached bibliography” is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me.
55%
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Should I tell you that when we’re apart, your body comes back to me in dreams? That when I sleep, I see you, the dip of your waist, the freckle above your hip, and when I wake up in the morning, it feels like I’ve just been with you, the phantom touch of your hand on the back of my neck fresh and not imagined? That I can feel your skin against mine, and it makes every bone in my body ache? That, for a few moments, I can hold my breath and be back there with you, in a dream, in a thousand rooms, nowhere at all?
56%
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Tho I long for the actual sunlight contact between us I miss you like a home. Shine back honey & think of me.
57%
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“Hi, love,” he hears Henry say quietly, privately,
71%
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“I hate this so much. I know. But we’re gonna do it together. And we’re gonna make it work. You and me and history, remember? We’re just gonna fucking fight. Because you’re it, okay? I’m never gonna love anybody in the world like I love you. So, I promise you, one day we’ll be able to just be, and fuck everyone else.”
76%
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“It’s his personal line.”
jenna (taylor’s version)
I KNEW IT
77%
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“Because he’s my fiancé, asshole,
jenna (taylor’s version)
oh ? i thought it was just a little fling thing