Just for the Summer (Part of Your World, #3)

by Abby Jimenez

r/AmItheasshole 1 week ago Posted by just_in_267 AITA for naming my ugly dog after my ex best friend?

A little backstory. I have this… streak if you will? Basically every woman I date more than a few times ends up finding her soulmate after we break up. It’s a thing. It started three years ago and it’s now happened five times. We break things off and the very next person they date ends up being The One.

“His dad died a few years ago. I just found an obituary that mentions him. Yup. That’s him. Same kids from his Instagram. He’s got three siblings. Alex, Chelsea, and Sarah.” “How did his dad die?” I asked. “It just says ‘unexpectedly.’ He was only forty-five. Sucks. Hold on, I’m checking the sex-offender registry.” She typed into her phone for a minute. “He’s clear.” She set her phone down and picked up her wrap. “I don’t see any red flags here, other than he’s got a J name. J-named men are the worst. I’m following him on Instagram from my throwaway account to keep up surveillance. You may proceed.”

Brad nodded at me. “You know, if she’s got the same thing you do, if you guys date each other, you’ll both find your soulmates when you break up.” I laughed a little, dipping my mozzarella stick in ranch. “No, I’m serious,” he said. “Think about it. You guys would cancel each other out.”

Brad looked me in the eye. “You will never find someone as long as all the women you date aren’t actually meant for you. You’re not their soulmate. Their soulmate is the person they meet after you. It’s decided the minute it starts. They are literally fated not to be The One. Think about it.”

“You know, for someone that cute, he’s pretty funny,” she said. I looked at her over my phone. “What, they can’t be cute and funny?” “No. When they’re that attractive or over six feet tall, they usually have the personality of a sexy palm tree.”

“I don’t believe in this whole magical good luck charm thing,” I said without preamble. “Neither do I.” “I’m not superstitious.” I heard him suck air through his teeth. “I’m a little stitious.” I let a laugh out through my nose. “It’s just a coincidence,” I said. “You realize that, right?” “I agree.” He paused. “But…” “But? But what?” “But what if it isn’t? I’m just playing devil’s advocate here. What if it isn’t? Brad said that everyone I’m serious enough to date more than twice is cosmically destined for someone else.”

When my mother was at her best, you could meet her and walk away thinking you’d been in the presence of a Muse or an angel. This witty, enchanting woman who made you feel interesting and special. When she was at her worst…

And you’re buying me cupcakes when we get there or the deal’s off.” I bounced back to her and hugged her. She shook her head. “Med Surg and no Hawaii, just so you can break up with some guy.” “We’ve done stranger things.” “Yes,” she said. “Yes, we have.”

I was cracking up. “He sent me a pre-date questionnaire.” “What? Let me see that,” Maddy said. She took my phone. Then her eyes raised to mine. “I like this.” “So do I.” She handed me back my phone and I bit my lip. I really, really hoped he smelled good.

“Maddy hates the crust too and I get to eat hers,” she said. “It’s part of why we’re so compatible.” “Brad likes them too. He eats all my crusts. You know, I bet if they did a study about relationships, romantic and platonic, the ones where two people have alternating crust preferences are the ones that work the best.” “Imagine putting that on a dating app,” she said. I made my voice serious. “Must be willing to eat my discarded pizza crusts, no weirdos.”

She shrugged again and looked up at me. “Why not forgive? In a world where you can choose anger or empathy, always choose empathy, Justin. I don’t know what it was like to be her. A single mom at eighteen, no money, no family. She struggled. She still struggles. But she loves me and I never doubted that for a second no matter what she did.”

“Why didn’t you tell her the truth? That we’re not in California,” I asked. “It’s too confusing. The truth scares them. Sometimes the best way to show love or be kind to someone is to meet them where they are.” “Literally? Or figuratively?” She paused with the spoon in her hand. “Both.”

“What if the universe listened? What if you or your mom or the kids were supposed to die in a car crash and your dad said ‘Take me instead’—and the universe did. And nobody remembers the way it was supposed to be because that’s the deal. You never get to know that he’s a hero. The fates are reversed and the tribute takes the thing he asked for to save someone he loves. If you think of it that way, instead of being sad that he’s gone, be happy that he got what he wanted. And that somebody loved you enough to take your place.”

“I’ve had a lot of bad things happen to me, Justin. I think sometimes the key to happiness is framing those things in a different way.”

She stared out into the galley, deep in thought. “You know what I wish?” She paused. “I wish I could ask questions and always get the truth.”

“I’m trying really hard to not hold on to it,” I said. “It’s just a lot to accept. It was right after my dad died.” I shook my head. “It was so out of character for her, I don’t get it.” “Be glad you don’t get it. It means your life has been a lot gentler than hers.” I stopped and looked at her.

“So how do you reconcile that?” I asked. “How do you learn to forgive her?” She shrugged. “You don’t have to forgive her. You really don’t. You can still love someone that you’ve decided not to speak to anymore. You can still wish them well and hope for the best for them. Choosing a life without them doesn’t mean you stop caring about them. It just means that you can’t allow them to harm you anymore. But if you don’t think your life would be better without them in it, then accept that they have cracks.

“We found some baby raccoons,” Leigh said. “Real young, maybe five, six weeks old. Mama Raccoon was dead in the street and so Christine’s like, ‘I can’t leave them,’ so she gets on her hands and knees and pokes around the bushes until she catches ’em. I told her to put them in her purse and I’d take them to the wildlife rehabilitation center in the morning. So we get in this Uber, and we’re not a block from the place and one of ’em gets out and jumps right on the driver. He’s hooting and hollering,

Leigh leaned over the seat. “Now, you just tuck that little trash panda into your cleavage. Quiets him right down.” Emma pulled her shirt open and put the swaddled raccoon inside. “Are we even sure this is safe?” I asked, glancing at the lump under her shirt. “If they’re not safe, why are they cute, Justin?” Emma said. “It’s the forbidden puppy,” Mom said. All three women started laughing.

Leigh tapped Emma on the shoulder. “Is his butt still cute, Emma?” “It’s really cute,” Emma said, smiling and waving her raccoon’s little hand at me while I shook my head. She hadn’t seen it. Not bare anyway. But I couldn’t help but hope that she’d looked.

I wanted time to convince her to give me a real shot and we didn’t have it. And if she got what she needed from me to complete the agreement we’d made, she might be done. I might never see her again after our fourth date. Unless I didn’t kiss her. Then she’d have to keep seeing me until I did, or her Minnesota side-trip thing would be for nothing. It was a flimsy plan. And if it worked, it wouldn’t buy me much, just a couple of weeks or a couple more dates. But maybe it would be enough. It had to be. So I couldn’t kiss her. But God, I fucking wanted to.

“You don’t want anything that can’t fit in your luggage.” She stared at me like she’d just had an epiphany. “The lengths you will go to stay living in the chaos you’re accustomed to—” I rolled my eyes. “What chaos?” “The chaos you grew up in! This whole life you’ve made—the travel nursing and the constant moving—you’re reliving your childhood,” she said. “Doing it in a safe way you can control. You slap the word ‘adventure’ on it like lipstick on a pig, but it is what it is, just another way to keep you from ever belonging to anywhere or anyone.”

The corners of my lips quirked up. “So what’s going on?” I asked. “Why are you overwhelmed?” I heard him stretch. “You really want to hear this? It’s going to be an info dump.” “Dump away.” He puffed air from his cheeks. “It’s like death by a thousand cuts,”

“You want romance? I thought we were just curse breaking.” “Of course I want romance,” she said. “Well damn, you should have said something. I’ll get right on it.” I dropped to one knee. She sucked in air. “Uh, what are you doing?” she said, her eyes darting around. “Romance.” “Justin, stop it,” she whispered. “Get up! Get up!” I took her hand and did my best to make my face straight. People were already stopping to watch. I made my voice low so only she could hear it. “Emma, would you do me the honor of delousing my family with me?” She snorted.

Not everything that comes out of crisis is bad. Sometimes your traumas are the reason you know how to help.

“Well, work on it, will ya? We’ve just about given up. He’s stubborn as a mule, you’re our last hope.” She vanished again. I waited a second to be sure she was gone and then I leaned in over Sarah’s shoulder. “I don’t really think he should rename the dog,” I whispered. “Me either,” Sarah said, conspiratorially. Both of us smiled into the mirror.

But my foolish heart would hope anyway. It didn’t know how not to.

Justin was on the island. Not the real one. The one in my soul. My eyes teared up at the realization.

I didn’t know why it was so hard to say what I was feeling. Maybe because it felt hard to feel what I was feeling. “You didn’t leave,” I whispered. “I will never leave you,” he said tiredly. “I mean, unless you tell me to. I’m not a creep.” I laughed and my sore stomach hurt. He pulled me closer and kissed the top of my head. And for the first time maybe ever, I felt like I belonged somewhere.

“If I live, I will take you anywhere you want to go.” She glanced at me. “What if you die? Can I have your dog?” “Only if you promise to never change his name,” I rasped. She put a hand over her heart. “I will carry on all your petty vendettas.”

“What are you thinking?” I asked. He didn’t answer for a long moment. When he did, he did it with his eyes closed. “All I ever think about is you.” My heart pounded. He opened his eyes. “What are we doing, Emma?” Time stopped. Or I did. Reality smeared. He put a gentle hand out to touch me. A thumb rubbed against my cheek to mirror the one I had on his. “If this isn’t magic, then what is?” he asked. “What does it feel like to be under a spell if this isn’t it?”

“What can I do?” Justin whispered. He brushed the hair away from my cheeks and looked at me with so much tenderness my heart ached. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “Tell me what you’re thinking.” I took a shuddering breath and tried to settle down. “Tell me,” he said. I pulled in another deep, steadying inhale. “Justin, I like you more than I’ve ever liked anyone. And it scares me.” His eyes roamed my face. “I like you more than I’ve ever liked anyone too.” He paused. “I like you more than like.” We held each other’s gaze. “I like you more than like too,” I said quietly.

He put a hand to my cheek. “Sometimes I feel like the seasons could come and go and come and go, a hundred years could pass, a thousand, the ground could collapse under us, this house could crumble and go back to the earth, and we would still be standing here frozen in time, because every second I’m with you is eternal. I’ve never felt anything like it.”

“You’re not asking too much,” he said. “You were just asking the wrong person. Ask me instead.” I peered at him, my eyes soft.

And she wasn’t even sorry. That was the worst betrayal of all. It was the death of the last innocent, naive version of myself. That Emma no longer existed. I was snuffed out like one of her candles. And I was done.

“I hate her too.” “Good. Welcome to the club, we meet on Wednesdays and we bring pitchforks.”

“You are not what happened to you. You are what you do next.”

For Halloween Alex wanted to make the front lawn into a graveyard so we went to the Halloween store and bought a bunch of animatronic zombies. I spent way too much money, but it was the first project we all did together. We carved pumpkins and got Brad a dog costume. On Halloween night Sarah and I made a lasagna and hot chocolate and took Chelsea trick-or-treating. And I realized, when the kids were back at the house, sitting on the living room floor going through their candy, that I’d had a good day. It would have been better if she was here. But it was still good.

The love stories sold us the wrong thing. The best kind of love doesn’t happen on moonlit walks and romantic vacations. It happens in between the folds of everyday life. It’s not grand gestures that show how you feel, it’s all the little secret things you do to make her life better that you never tell her about.

It isn’t glamorous, it isn’t all butterflies and stars in your eyes. It’s real. This is the kind of love that forever is made of. Because if it’s this good when life is draining and mundane and hard, think of how wonderful it will be when the love songs are playing and the moon is out.

Justin looked in my eyes. “You know,” he said, “if the curse is true, the next person you date is going to be your soulmate.” I smiled. “The next person you date’s going to be yours too.” He cupped my face in his palms. “I was wondering if you’d like to go out with me sometime,” he whispered. “Four dates. A kiss. No breakup.” I laughed, the tears starting to well again. “Not just for the summer?” “No. Forever this time.”