Table for Two

by Amor Towles

The airing of well-seasoned complaints, unspoken animosities, suspicions and recriminations; feelings of shame and indignation; the retaining of attorneys and the dividing of spoils; the endless explaining of developments to family and friends; to which might be added all the grim and unanticipated practicalities like disposing of one’s wedding album and waiting in line to get one’s maiden name restored to one’s driver’s license:

it tickled the feet of reason

circumstance seemed to be providing its own form of discretion.

she would return to the topic in different ways at different times with different people, but her intent was always the same. By rehashing the particulars with her inner circle, she was hoping that she would receive some confirmation, some assurance that whatever had happened, it hadn’t been her fault. And as those who loved her best, we lied. Each and every one of us.

This closed one of the short stories and after reading it, I read it again. Then I stopped. I took time for myself before reading the next story. This one, this, was impactful for me.

So, I don’t know the proper terminology. But once Isserlis was playing, within a matter of seconds, you could tell you were in the presence of some form of perfection. For not only was the music uplifting, each individual phrase seemed to follow so naturally, so inevitably upon the last that a slumbering spirit deep within you, suddenly awakened, was saying: Of course, of course, of course . . .

But the word climb isn’t quite right. For it wasn’t a matter of reaching one hand over the other and pulling oneself up with the occasional anxious glance at the ground. Rather than climbing, it was . . . it was . . . it was the opposite of cascading—a fluid and effortless tumbling upward. An ascension.

For there is no remembrance of former things. And neither shall there be any remembrance of things that are to come with those that shall come after.

And he could see it again: that sparkle of having made the decision. A decision that was all the better for having no cause or impetus or subjugation to a grander scheme.

For that which humbles our sense of vanity prepares us to face that which insults our sense of honor!

Because if we don’t stare down the things that make us want to look away, then the world is just a mirage.