Funny Story

by Emily Henry

You can’t untell someone your secrets. You can’t unsay those delicate truths once you learn you can’t trust the person you handed them to.

“It’s not cynical. If you don’t give other people responsibility for your feelings, you can have a decent relationship with most of them.”

If a person lets you down, it’s time to reconsider what you’re asking of them.

“Do you even realize how cozy Golden Girls is?”

The few times I’ve smoked weed, this has always been the primary effect: a feeling that the cord between my brain and mouth has been snipped, and I have no control over what I’m saying.

It’s funny: As a kid, I had no idea how to interact with other kids. I felt most at home with Mom and her friends. But as an adult, I find kids so much easier to understand.

don’t begrudge a man a hobby, but if you’re forty and your apartment has a theme, I just don’t see it working out for us.”

“You are either the friendliest man on the planet,” I say, “or a world-class serial killer.” “Why not both?”

that I can’t help but feel a crush of affection for him.

he’s a Labrador, she’s more of a clumsy pit bull, thwacking into corners and swinging her head into coffee tables without batting an eye, completely unselfconscious. I like her immediately.

You can’t force a person to show up, but you can learn a lesson when they don’t.

Trust people’s actions, not their words. Don’t love anyone who isn’t ready to love you back. Let go of the people who don’t hold on to you. Don’t wait on anyone who’s in no rush to get to you.

“Pretty boring of me,” I say. “Mysterious,” he counters. “Like a puzzle.” “Or a highly organized silverware tray,” I say.

“At home,” I say. “We were watching a movie and, I don’t know, it just happened.” “What were you watching?” she asks. “Does it matter?” I say. “It sets the scene,” she says. “Honestly, Daphne, have you never had a close friend before?”

“We were watching a Fast & Furious movie,” I spit out. “Which one,” she asks immediately. “I really couldn’t tell you. One with Vin Diesel in it.” “Would make anyone horny,” she says. “And, what, it was weird?”

He was willing to be good to me, but he wasn’t willing to be any better.

“You’re not a tagalong,” she says. “You’re a we-girl.”

“No, like, We love that restaurant. We always vacation there. We don’t really like scary movies. A woman who’s more comfortable being a part of a whole, who never goes anywhere without a partner.”

wat is turkish delight and edmund needs 2 chill.

“I was a little nerd, you can say it,” I say. “Back then they used to call it ‘a pleasure to have in class,’ ” she tells me.

My heart speeds. “What is it?” “Nothing,” he says. “It can wait.” “You’re freaking me out,” I say. “That’s not what I’m trying to do,” he says. “But it’s what you’re doing,” I say. “Just tell me what’s going on, or I won’t be able to concentrate.”

All those moments throughout the days, weeks, months that don’t get marked on calendars with hand-drawn stars or little stickers. Those are the moments that make a life. Not grand gestures, but mundane details that, over time, accumulate until you have a home, instead of a house.

“Oh, god no. Just be you. The best you. The most you.”

“Let’s rob a bank,” she says. “I think you should get a dog.”

That feeling of curiosity and awe and wonder. That was where I made my home every time we moved, a sensation that couldn’t be taken away.

it’s that it matters way more that you’re present than that you’re perfect. Just be here,

“To be part of a community like this. To me, libraries have always represented the best of humanity. The way we all share knowledge and space, and . . . and how we find ways to look after each other. It’s not a perfect system, but it’s powerful.