Funny Story

by Emily Henry

“It’s a library, Daphne. If you can’t be a human here, where can you?”

“It’s from a book,” I say. “Never mind.” “Ah,” he says. “Not a big reader.” “I know that’s a possibility,” I say, “and yet I truly cannot fathom it.” “What do you like about it,” he says. “Everything,” I say. His mouth curls. “Fascinating.” “I like that it feels like I can live as many lives as I want,” I say.

I cast my mind back, to before grad school, before undergrad even, all the way to the first moment I remember loving a story. Feeling like I was living it. Being, even as a child, bowled over by how something imaginary could become real, could wring every emotion from me or make me homesick for places I’d never been.

“I’m not.” It feels true, at least right now. I’m not so delicate. Lonely, hurt, angry, a little bit whiny? Sure. But not delicate.

I believe you should and will have everything you’ve ever wanted, if you’re not too scared to go after it.”

People can change, I think. I’m changing.

“You?” she says. “You, my girl, are whoever you decide to be. But I hope you always keep some piece of that girl who sat by the window, hoping for the best. Life’s short enough without us talking ourselves out of hope and trying to dodge every bad feeling. Sometimes you have to push through the discomfort, instead of running.”

I’d tempered my expectations, packed them tight into bricks, built a fortress to protect me. But keeping every glimmer of hope out has isolated me too, and I want to be seen. I want to be loved. I want to live with the hope that things can get better, even if, in the end, they don’t.

The same universe that dispassionately takes things away can bring you things you weren’t imaginative enough to dream up.

I feel a bittersweetness that this moment can’t last, that time will pull us along soon. But for the first time in a while, I’m excited about the unknown. I’m looking forward to the surprises.

But I’m working on being excited instead of nervous about the unknown. So many of the most beautiful things in life are unexpected.