Funny Story

by Emily Henry

“Daphne,” he tuts. “Daphne, Daphne, Daphne.” “Let me guess: I’m a clueless fool,” I say. He starts the car. “No, just a sweet, naive, beautiful little innocent, raised in captivity by a man who loves wheatgrass.”

“Then let’s chill,” he says. “There’s no rush.” “Well, if that changes, feel free to ditch me.” “Yes, Daphne, if something changes, and I need to escape a freshwater shark, I’ll paddle my little heart out and leave you for dead.”