Quintessentially Q (Monsters in the Dark, #2)

by Pepper Winters

Naked and restrained, this darkness cannot be contained, you, my esclave, have been claimed...

I may be a controlling bastard, but the moment Tess stalked into my life I lost my balls to her.

She wasn’t my possession. Never had been and never would be. I hated how even though I knew she was there on her own accord, I still wanted ultimate ownership. I wanted her chained and completely dependent on me. I wanted to feed her and bathe her. I wanted to be the very reason she stayed alive. Fuck, I should get a pet.

“It’s time you began your initiation into my world, esclave.”

I relish the snap, welcome the burn, don’t stop yet it’s still my turn. Tighten your grip, make me bleed, this is a hunger I need to feed...

I knew Q needed to be taught the most important factor of any relationship. He had to learn that for any sort of love to grow between us, it needed a firm foundation to last. A foundation based on unshakable trust and faith in each other.

“Do you want to know what I thought when I returned to you. The promise I made to myself?” Q froze, nostrils flaring. I took his silence as approval and continued, “I said I’d fight for you. That you deserved to be fought for. I didn’t know then, and I still don’t know what I need to finally get through to you—” I leaned forward, trying to get close enough to kiss him. He stiffened and his hold gave no room for movement. “—but I’ll never stop. I was right. You’re worth every fight. Every argument and bump in the road. I’ll fight because I’m falling for you, Q.”

“I’m sure to break other parts of you, but I don’t want the curse of breaking your heart.” “You can’t break something that is freely given.”

His lips spoke how much he already cared for me, all the while trying to eat me alive.

“Drink me if that’s what you need. Fuck me if it will help you believe. Je suis à toi.” I’m yours.

“You’ll never be free of me. I’ll never be free of you. It’s fate who decides, and fate gave us each other.”

“You’re my wings. You made me fly.” He froze, hands unmoving on my cheeks. His pale eyes seared into my soul. Q wasn’t just my master in the bedroom. He was the master of my heart.

“You stole my loneliness. I may have given you wings, but you've become my gravity. I’ll never be free of your force.”

I needed connection. I needed to bind us. Entwine us. Imprint and devour us.

he looked deep into my eyes. “You’re going to be the death of both of us.”

“I want you to hurt me, but I also want you to care for me,”

“I do care for you. Too damn much. You’ve turned me inside out and changed my entire world.”

“You want to be free?” He nuzzled my neck, licking at the sore skin from his earlier bite. “You’ll never be free again. Je te garde pour toujours.” I’m keeping you forever.

I’m going to drive you wild, Q Mercer.

You’re my obsession, I’m your possession, you own the deepest part of me...

The look she gave undid me. She accepted me. She wanted me. She made me feel worthy.

I was struck dumb. I lost sensation of the warmth of my coffee cup. I forgot how to blink and breathe. All I could do was stare at the woman who was successfully breaking me into smithereens just by being alive.

How could I fuck this woman, sleep beside her, and care for her when I didn’t even know her? My heart knew hers, my body belonged to hers, but I didn’t own her mind. And I wanted to. Needed to.

I both loved and hated Q with an ever burning passion.

I’m the love cripple trying to teach a loveless monster.

“Pourquoi tu dois me pousser comme ça?” Why must you push me so? “Because I need to break you to make you mine.”

Leaning over me, he gave me the sweetest smile, whispering, “I think we just joined the mile high club.”

I knew why Q looked quiet—it was because something deeper than just sex had happened. My mind felt it, my heart welcomed it—in the moment where Q made me splinter, I let down an unconscious wall.

Something soft webbed between us, and I hoped it was the beginning of our future.

High above the world, we were in perfect twisted harmony.

You crawled into the darkness, set my monster free, so scream, bleed, call out to me, but never say stop, never flee...

The longer I stared, the more I wanted to wrap her up and keep her safe, but in the same thought, I wanted to kill and ruin anyone who came near her.

I wanted to highlight her bruises, mark her skin, so everyone knew she belonged to me. I wanted to brand her, to scar her, to wear her blood as a blatant warning to any man who ever looked in her direction.

Tess had accepted both me and my beast. She was falling in love with me. She had a power over me that no one else had before. And I didn’t trust her. Shit, I’m scum.

I dragged Tess into my lap, wrapping my arms tight around her. In my embrace, I held the moon and stars and planets. I held my future fucking happiness, and I’d kill myself if I ever fucked it up.

Why her? Because she made me fucking happy for the first time in my sorry existence. She made me stronger, more grounded...more right.

“Because you’re my monster in the dark, and I’m yours.”

Strip me bare, pull my hair, I don’t care, just take me there. I need that high, I need that pain, it’s the only thing that keeps me sane...

As enamoured as I was with Q, and as much as he fulfilled me, gave me everything my sick, twisted little soul could want, he drove me insane. I wanted into his head. I wanted to know every minute detail about him, and yet he didn’t trust me. That splintered my heart, and I wished I could prove my devotion to him. That I would never spill his secrets or cast blame on his perversions. I didn’t like that he might never fully open up, that I may never completely understand the man who possessed my heart.

Q held me with possession, and the rough-softness of his skin set my teeth on edge and my pulse catapulting.

He held my heart, rather than my hand.

“My life guards your life. Tu es à moi.” You’re mine.

My body belonged to him, set alive by his scent, touch, and voice.

Just...just promise me you won’t put your life on the line for one woman.” My finger twitched on the hang up button. “She’s more than just one woman, Dubois.” She’s my life.

I’m not frightened she won’t fight, I’m worried she’ll fight too hard.

Tess, stay alive. You fucking stay alive, or I’ll hunt your ghost and whip you stupid for leaving me.

Tie me, tease me, let your pleasure please me. Hurt me, love me, but please don’t ever leave me...

“I’ll pay them back like for like, esclave. Mark my fucking words, they’ll wish they were dead before I’ve finished.”

“I never wa—wanted to be a burden.” The tears I’d been holding all this time spilled. Once they started, they wouldn’t stop. Q jerked to a halt. “No, esclave. Stop it. You’re not a burden. Never.”

“I confess to everything. I’m worthless and want to die.”