Out of My Mind (The Out of My Mind Series)

by Sharon M. Draper

I knew the words and melodies of hundreds of songs—a symphony exploding inside my head with no one to hear it but me. But he never asked me about music. I knew all the colors and shapes and animals that children my age were supposed to know, plus lots more. In my head I could count to one thousand—forward and backward. I could identify hundreds of words on sight. But all that was stuck inside. Dr. Hugely, even though he had been to college for like, a million years, would never be smart enough to see inside of me.

I’m always amazed at how adults assume I can’t hear. They talk about me as if I’m invisible, figuring I’m too retarded to understand their conversation.

“But a person is so much more than the name of a diagnosis on a chart!”

“Let’s see,” the doctor said, “Melody is, ah, five now. That’s a perfect age for her to learn to adjust to a new environment. You and your husband can get on with your lives without her as a burden. In time, her memories of you will fade.” I stared at Mom frantically. I didn’t want to be sent away. Was I a burden? I never thought about it like that. Maybe it would be easier for them if I weren’t around.

“Let me tell you something, Doctor. There is no way in heaven or hell that we will be sending Melody away to a nursing home!”

“I think you’re wrong—I know you are! Melody has more brains hidden in her head than you’ll ever have, despite those fancy degrees from fancy schools you’ve got posted all over your walls!” It was the doctor’s turn to blink. “You’ve got it easy—you have all your physical functions working properly. You never have to struggle just to be understood. You think you’re smart because you have a medical degree?” He was wise enough to keep his mouth shut and ashamed enough to lower his head. Mom was on a roll. “You’re not so intelligent, sir—you’re just lucky! All of us who have all our faculties intact are just plain blessed. Melody is able to figure out things, communicate, and manage in a world where nothing works right for her. She’s the one with the true intelligence!”

“Music is powerful, my young friends,” she said. “It can connect us to memories. It can influence our mood and our responses to problems we might face.”

Never in my life have I had a teacher tell me to be quiet because I was talking to somebody in class! It was the best feeling in the world! I felt like the rest of the kids.

When Dad and Mom come in to pick us up, Dad is ready with his camcorder. His hands are shaking a little. “Show us how it works, honey,” he says. I can’t believe Dad is making a video of me saying my first words. It’s almost like when he filmed Penny’s first words—well, not really. I type very carefully and push the button to make the machine speak. “Hi, Dad. Hi, Mom. I am so happy.” Mom gets all teary-eyed, and her nose gets red. She is looking at me all soft and gooey. When I think about it, I realize I have never, ever said any words directly to my parents. So I push a couple of buttons, and the machine speaks the words I’ve never been able to say. “I love you.” Mom completely loses it. She bubbles up with tears and grabs Dad. I think he might be sniffing back a couple of tears himself. But he has recorded it all.

“I want to be like other kids.” “So you want to be mean and fake and thoughtless?” I looked up at her angry face, then looked away. “No. Normal.” “Normal sucks!” she roared. “People love you because you’re Melody, not because of what you can or cannot do. Give us a little credit.”