How to Fight Presidents: Defending Yourself Against the Badasses Who Ran This Country

by Daniel O'Brien

Jefferson was a great thinker, and he did make a greater impact on American politics than any other person in history, but he was also supremely cool-as-shit, a fact that is rarely brought up in high school history classes.

He could pee lightning. Only like six people in the world can do that, and Millard Fillmore was one of them.

Lyndon Johnson, as president, would take his dick out and shake it at people. Sometimes he was trying to impress people, and sometimes he would do it if one of his staffers dared challenge him.

Just to make sure this lands, here it is again: Nixon extended the war in Vietnam by five years just so he could screw Humphrey out of the White House and become president, where he could be shitty on a much grander scale.