More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
The circle of human community is only healthy when it exists within the larger circle of community with God.
Have you ever been hurt by what the other person said?
Have you ever felt like you haven’t been heard?
Has the other person ever doubted your commitment?
Have you ever wished you didn’t have to give or serve?
Sin affects us in six basic ways.
Self-Centeredness
Self-Rule
When God’s wise and loving rule over you is replaced with self-rule, other people become your subjects.
subjects in my kingdom
Self-Sufficiency
Relationships are best built upon godly, mutual dependence.
godly mature matual dependece
Self-Righteousness
Each thinks he or she is more righteous than the other. Each
is very aware of the other’s sin and working hard to get the other to see it too.
Godly relationships flourish best between two humble people who acknowledge their weaknesses and sins and their need for grace.
work when each other are humble
Self-Satisfaction
Self-Taught
People who crave comfort are excited about easy relationships and annoyed by difficult ones.
me
yet the victim is still responsible for his response to being sinned against.
The Bible reminds us that even when we are sinned against, ultimately, before God our biggest problem is still our own hearts’ propensity to sin.
i agree with this. However a bit reductionistic what about those who have abused badly in their lives nd struggle with bitterness. it is still there sin but what can help and heal them is God vengence againt the person who harmed them. this can also lead them to forgive them and pray for them seeing how Gid justice is uktimate
Our mistake is to think of grace as deliverance from problems; in reality, it is the ability to persevere in the midst of those problems.
God gives us grace in the midst of our problems to perserver
It’s what the person gets out of the relationship.
agenda we all want so.ething out of relationshipd
The power of self-interest is still present in the believer
God has a bigger agenda for our relationships than we do
Our template or road map is Ephesians 4. As you read it, ask yourself what it says about (1) the struggle of self-interest and (2) God’s agenda for our relationships. This passage will be the grid you can use to look at the issues of relationship we address in this book.
We love us and we have a wonderful plan for our lives! We have a dream. The problem is that it is not the Lord’s.
In other words, you can’t take the gospel seriously and not take your relationships seriously.
gospel and relationships go hand in hand
Maintain the unity of the Spirit
If I gossip or engage in ungodly conflict, I harm the gift God has given. But if I am willing to pursue, forgive, and serve, I demonstrate care for these gifts.
Make every effort
Be humble, gentle, patient, and forbearing in love
Lord help me to be this
Humility enables us to see our own sin before we focus on the sin and weaknesses of another.
humality and what it does
A gentle person can use strength without damaging those he is trying to help.
Do people regularly feel bruised in their relationship with you?
There is one Spirit, one Lord, and one Father
Father, Son, and Spirit were torn apart so that we might be united with them and with each other.
he has said this phrase twice now. it can be quite a contreversal pharse
Because it is grounded in the Trinity, our unity also allows us to celebrate our diversity in the body of Christ.
unity grounded in the trinty
But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it
So that the body of Christ may be built up
Our purpose is to get what we want, but God’s purpose is to give us what we really need.
what we need
God has designed our relationships to function as both a diagnosis and a cure.
We enter relationships for personal pleasure, self-actualization, and fun. We want low personal cost and high self-defined returns. But God wants high personal cost and high God-defined returns.
what we want from relationships vs what God wants from them
The tendency toward division (v. 31). I give in to the temptation to view you as an adversary, rather than a companion in the struggle of relationship.
what i struggke with now 2023
The rest of this book is about hard work, but it is the best work you will ever do. If
Good relationships are always built on the foundation stones of identity and worship.
foundations of good relationships
What we are getting at is that, because you are a human being, there is always something you are living for; always some desire, goal, treasure, purpose, value, or craving that controls your heart.
who are we worshipping
When I live out of a biblical sense of who I am (identity) and rest in who God is (worship), I will be able to build a healthy relationship with you.
For this reason we can say that we all live theologically; that is, the things we believe about God and ourselves are the foundation for all the decisions we make, all the actions we take, and all the words we speak.
Either I get my identity vertically, out of my sense of who God is and worship who he has made me in Christ, or I will seek to get my identity horizontally, out of my circumstances, relationships, and successes.
Your spouse, your friends, and your children cannot be the sources of your identity.
they die yiu die
