Mating in Captivity: Sex, Lies and Domestic Bliss

by Esther Perel

It’s hard to generate excitement, anticipation, and lust with the same person you look to for comfort and stability, but it’s not impossible.

But for many others, emotional intimacy inhibits erotic expression. The caring, protective elements that foster love often block the unselfconsciousness that fuels erotic pleasure.

Eroticism requires separateness. In other words, eroticism thrives in the space between the self and the other. In order to commune with the one we love, we must be able to tolerate this void and its pall of uncertainties.