The Science Of Discworld

by Terry Pratchett

There was no point in telling your bosses everything; they were busy men, they didn’t want explanations. There was no point in burdening them. What they wanted was little stories that they felt they could understand, and then they’d go away and stop worrying.

Given the choice between our blowing up the world and the enemy blowing up the world, it was obvious what to do. That is, on reflection, not a happy sentence.

‘Poor chap looks a bit down,’ hissed the Senior Wrangler to Ridcully. ‘I don’t think he’s been eating properly.’ ‘You mean … not chewing right?’ ‘No eating enough, Archchancellor.’

A university is very much like a coral reef. It provides calm waters and food particles for delicate yet marvellously constructed organisms that could not possibly survive in the pounding surf of reality, where people ask questions like ‘Is what you do of any use?’ and other nonsense.

Triploblasts played a crucial role in evolution, precisely because they did have internal organs, and in particular they could ingest food and excrete it. Their excreta became a major resource for other creatures; to get an interestingly complicated world, it is vitally important that shit happens.