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Therefore, when we proceed to let go of a desire, we must dissect away that which is exaggeration, fantasy, and romanticization. Once we have relinquished the glamour, it will be relatively easy to surrender the desire itself.
We can recognize our proneness to pain by looking at the kind of reactions we are hoping to elicit from others by our choices and behavior.
The underlying emotional purpose of these feelings toward others is to win their admiration, avoid criticism or rejection, gain acceptance, be important, and thereby overcome our own inner feelings of worthlessness.