More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
Started reading
February 8, 2025
When the pressure of suppressed and repressed feelings exceeds the individual’s tolerance level, the mind will create an event “out there” upon which to vent and displace itself. Thus, the person with a lot of repressed grief will unconsciously create sad events in life.
The first step is to allow yourself to have the feeling without resisting it, venting it, fearing it, condemning it, or moralizing about it.
Let go of wanting to resist the feeling. It is resistance that keeps the feeling going.
The feeling can then be worked with by first accepting that it is there, without resisting it or condemning it. And then one begins to empty out the energy of the feeling directly by letting it be what it is until it runs out.
Thus, for instance, the man who has lost his job initially has an overwhelming feeling of despair; but, as he begins to surrender around the periphery, and as he diminishes his overwhelm through consciously utilizing escape, suppression, and expression, he now realizes that there is also anger. He sees that the anger is associated with pride. There is a lot of anger in the form of resentment.
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way”
Fear of life is really the fear of emotions. It is not the facts that we fear but our feelings about them.
Life crises, as we pass through them, confront us with polar opposites. Shall we hate or forgive that person? Shall we learn from this experience and grow, or resent it and become bitter? Do we choose to overlook the other person’s shortcomings and our own, or instead do we resent and mentally attack them? Shall we withdraw from a similar situation in the future with greater fear, or shall we transcend this crisis and master it once and for all?
Can we use the experience as an opportunity to learn how to share, or shall we withdraw into a shell of fear and bitterness? Every emotional experience is an opportunity to go up or down. Which do we choose? That is the confrontation.
Blame is a whole subject in itself. Looking into it is rewarding. To begin with, there are a lot of payoffs to blame. We get to be innocent; we get to enjoy self-pity; we get to be the martyr and the victim; and we get to be the recipients of sympathy.