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“If you scare my girlfriend again, you’ll wish all you had to worry about was working for your fucking dad.” My eyes flicker to Julie once. “And you should start eating your sister’s makeup. Your insides are fucking ugly.”
We love feral Loren.
“You’re a lying liar, and we’re supposed to be truthful.”
the front door opens, and the silence settles like a weight. Connor’s loafers hit the hardwood, the noise heightening the tension.
CONNOR!!!
I instantly straighten up and lean forward like two orbiting stars are about to touch and kiss. I want to be present when they do.
She gives me a look like why am I with him again? I smile and really want to say: Because you’re two nerd stars, orbiting and meant to kiss. But that won’t make sense to anyone but me.
I press my lips to her ear. “I love you.” “…I don’t have much love for myself at the moment,” she mutters in a small voice. I can see her shrinking internally, her self-worth dropping lower and lower from the guilt.
:((
But Ryke Meadows is many things—uncaring is definitely not one of them.
I have nowhere else to be but right here. No other invitations from friends (I have none) or family (my father practically disowned me). No job. No school. I am a worthless piece of shit.
:((
What if he sells sex toys? Okay, doubtful, but he would jump up ten points in likability for me.
LILY NO!!!
I’m not a miracle worker.” “Connor Cobalt is,” I mutter under my breath.
I’d always bet on Connor Cobalt.
I can’t knock on the door of every enemy that I remember. There are too many.
That's actually crazy. Lol
“But what about the male models?” And then her eyes dart to Sebastian and she pales, forgetting his presence. “Oh yes,” Sebastian says, “they’re gorgeous. Maybe Rose can find you someone better to date than that one over there.” He points at me. “And maybe she’ll find someone to replace you.” I mockingly pause. “Oh wait, she already has.” Where’s Connor Cobalt when you fucking need him?
Still, I glare. Habit. “You’re going to make me ask, aren’t you?” I say. She smiles icily. “Last year in the Cayman Islands, you said that not even the abominable snowman would want to fuck me.” Lily gasps, “You did not.” “I did.” She punches my arm. I mock wince. Yeah, I deserved that.
HAHAHA!!!
I am two seconds from burrowing underneath the comforter and never coming out. Hide, Lily, hide! My face flames. I really wish my feelings weren’t so visible.
“Hey, it’s Lo.” “Lo—” “Leave a message, and I may get around to calling you back. But really, you should just call me again. And if it’s not important, then don’t bother calling at all.” BEEP.
She holds onto my belt loop with two fingers, silently tugging me towards her body. I don’t even think she realizes that she’s doing it.
“You touch her, you even think about her, and I’ll have you in the ground before you can say thank you, Loren Hale. You go to the media, the press, and I will ruin you, starting with your soccer career. You don’t even know who I am, you motherfucker.”
Ryke lets out an incensed snort. “I thought Rose was making that fucking shit up.” “When you string together curse words, I go deaf a little in my right ear,” Connor tells him. “What was that?” Lo is trying really hard not to laugh, and I bite my lip to suppress a smile. It’s too easy to pick on Ryke, especially since the guy takes very little to heart.
Connor walks through the door, a small duffel bag slung over his shoulder and his hand preoccupied by texting on his cell. When he looks up, his eyes meet mine and then drift down to my nearly naked body, stopping at my blanket, and then right back up. “Hey beautiful,” I say with a grin. He barely blinks. “Pants have been invented in this century.”
“You can’t try to be sober and work a job at the same time.” “What do you think normal people do? Not everyone has rich parents to fall back on.” “You do,” he says. “And why the hell do you think I work so fucking much?” “You have nothing better to do.”
HAHAHA!
“Unless Lily is the ring leader of a drug cartel,
I never thought Lily and drug cartel would be in the same sentence. Lol
My father wanted to be proud of me, but I gave him nothing to be proud of.
You poured pig's blood on a cheater's door knob?! Hell ya!!!
I need the option to dash into a room and burrow underneath the covers, to hide from everyone and escape to my sanctuary. Privacy, that’s my bread and butter
I see him almost every day. If I knew what he did, I wouldn’t have…tolerated him.” “So what does you not tolerating him look like?” I ask with furrowed brows. I picture him ramming his fist into Mason Nix’s conceited face. Granted, I already did that. “We may have had words,” Ryke says. I still imagine a fist fight.
But we don’t show panic. We both look like we’re about ready to enter a UFC match, muscles flexing, spine straightening. Must be a Hale thing.
I jerk back in shock. He’s never been an advocate for Lily. “And why is that?” “Because I think she loves you more than she loves sex. And you love her more than you love alcohol, but you two just haven’t let yourselves believe it yet.”
I am here for him, just as he is for me. So I turn to Lo and poke his arm. “Did you see Captain America?” I ask. And his face lights up. He stares down at me as we walk, and the guilt begins to wash away. “Yeah, who the fuck thinks he can fly?”
I go to stand, but Connor meets my gaze and shakes his head, as though I should sit back down. I do. He has some sort of power in his assuredness. It’s like Jedi mind control.
They owe you. They owe you for not asking why their daughter isn’t home. Why she looks distant and sad. Why she has barricaded herself in a fucking apartment with her boyfriend. They have failed you, and if they tell you to get on a fucking plane or go to rehab—where we all know you shouldn’t be—then you need to tell them to go to hell. And if you don’t, Lo and I will. I promise you that.”
Melissa stares straight into the camera, delivering her next lie. “Lily Calloway liked to do it a lot, but especially with both of them.” She pauses. “Together.” None of us move, not at all expecting that. “Fucking fantastic,” Ryke breathes.
I wince. “I’m sorry.” “I don’t want your apologies, Lily,” Ryke refutes. “I only want one thing.” “What?” “When your parents tell you to go to rehab, what do you say?” We talked about this on the plane. I can’t go to rehab. That would entail leaving Lo and a brilliant therapist, both of which I love, and all of that would be replaced with anxiety-ridden group sessions. I can’t form the words Ryke wants me to until Lo laces his fingers with mine, courage filling me. “I’m going to say…go to hell.”
I lead her into the bedroom and look back to Connor and Ryke. “Can you two check the bathroom for porn and toys?” I ask them. “Destroy the room if you have to.” Ryke looks a little too excited to fuck with my shit.
“Get the fuck off me.” “What? You don’t like it anymore?” “I can sue you for harassment.” “Let’s play that fucking game,” Lo replies. “Let’s see whose lawyers are better. I’m a goddamn Hale. My family eats shitty fucks like you for brunch. Don’t you ever force yourself on a girl, ever again.” Lo loosens his grip,
“What are you even doing here?” Connor asks. “If Lily’s taking her finals, she doesn’t need to be tutored anymore.” “I’m monitoring the exams so she doesn’t cheat,” he lies. I want to snort, given the fact that minutes ago he offered to bubble-in my finals for me. “I can do that,” Connor says. “Go propagate cancer somewhere else.”
She’s my half-sister.
Rose found my perfect therapist, Dr. Banning, after meeting with horrible ones. And I wonder if she had to put up with situations like this for me, just so I would avoid it. I know she did. I know because I remember the look Connor and her shared when they were discussing therapists they visited together.
In Rose and Connor we trust.
I won’t sacrifice my own pride, my own dignity for them. Nothing in the world is worth the shame that I will feel from this. Nothing. I stare right back and all my hate and resentment towards everyone that has vilified me as a slut or whore rumbles up in two words. “Fuck you.”
“Sometimes the person we think we’ll become is the person we already are, and the person we truly become is the person we least expect.”
It’s true I’ve opened up around Ryke, and I think we can even call each other friends now. “Fucking fantastic.”
I set my sights on Lily again. She is my past, my present, my future. So when I open the door and slide into the driver’s seat, I’m not surprised that it feels like I’m returning home.
