Addicted for Now (Addicted #3)

by Krista Ritchie

Leading Melissa on—that’s fine (all she wants is sex anyway). Leading Daisy on—that’s not okay.

I imagine that recreation turning into a habit, which turns into an addiction. I just can’t bear for Daisy to go through what I am.

“I’m not naïve,” she says. “He was happy.” Ryke cringes. “You let him slap your ass because it made him happy?”

Not only does the blackmailer know I’m in Cancun, but they know my parent’s address.

Obviously, that did not help. No conversation with my father ever really does.

Ever since I was ill from the fish tacos, I don’t even flinch when a drink passes by. I have no desire to be sick again.

“Hey, she’s a virgin, not a fucking leper.” I point a finger at him. “And if you dump her because of this then you’re a fucking prick. There are a million guys who would gladly be with Rose. For whatever reason, you met her incredibly high standards, and if you hurt her because she’s not experienced, I swear to God, Connor, you are going to wish you never met me.” I finish my rant, surprising myself as much as Connor.

“Yeah, my father is an egotistical douchebag,” he says roughly. “My name literally means Jonathan empire.”

We know how to push each other’s buttons, and I wonder if that’s a brother-thing or just because we’re both products of Jonathan Hale.

Some months ago, she would have played into his advances. Finally, she’s chosen me.

“I don’t know,” I say, “but I’ve spent more time seeing her with other guys than being with her, so I guess I can understand how it might be natural—for her—to just fall back into that.”

“but if it happens, it happens, right?” Even the thought, though, devastates me. “I don’t think it will,” Ryke says. I jerk back in shock. He’s never been an advocate for Lily. “And why is that?” “Because I think she loves you more than she loves sex. And you love her more than you love alcohol, but you two just haven’t let yourselves believe it yet.”

“Wait.” Ryke looks between Lo and me. “If I help, this is it. You two can’t be hounding me about her anymore. You can’t have it both fucking ways. I’m either ignoring her or I’m her friend. That’s it.”

“I’m going to have to bail my brother out of Mexican jail.”

Daisy is naturally wild, but I don’t think she was expecting to be this drunk. I don’t think she wanted it, and that was a different kind of unknown than jumping off a cliff or house or plane.

Ryke cups her face. “Hey, you’re safe, Dais.” She nods again, biting her bottom lip to stop it from trembling. And then Ryke shifts uneasily. “You didn’t run into anyone before you got here, did you?”

Daisy breathes heavily. “I can’t feel my feet.” “Great,” Lo says, a nervous hand combing through his hair. “Anything else you can’t feel?” Ryke asks. She runs her tongue slowly over her upper lip before saying, “My face.”

Ryke rests a hand on Daisy’s spine. “Daisy, look at me.” She can’t find the source of his voice. “Ryke?” He’s standing right in front of her. He pinches her chin and turns her face so she meets his eyes. “I’m going to pick you up, okay?” “Okay.”

And she clutches his shirt. “Don’t leave me,” she whispers. “I can’t find the exit…” “I have you,” he assures her.

I love him. More than sex. More than anything.

She gave him the classic ultimatum. Me or her. And he chose to protect my sister.

“I’m going to fuck you.” Oh. God. Now? No, that can’t be right. He must sense my confusion because his lips quirk. “Tonight, love.”

Maybe some senator had a sex scandal. “Lily, wait!” Lo shouts. My heart stops as my mind tailspins, trying to digest the program and Lo. Wait, wait, wait. Tears brim. Lo was upset. And that’s not a senator. He was upset because of this. It’s me on the screen.

The news stations are congregated outside Penn, and the bottom of the screen reads: Fizzle heiress has over fifty sexual partners and counting. Rumored sex addict.

But I am falling so quickly. I am drowning, Lo. I don’t think I want to come up for air this time. I’m not sure I can.

“It’s fine, you don’t have to explain.” Daisy hates to see people upset. I forgot that about her. She just wants everyone to be happy.

I don’t want to be talking to him while Lily looks one second from opening the hatch and jumping from the plane without a parachute.

I’ll talk to you soon. Keep your head up.” Words of encouragement from my father. Those don’t come often. So I take them.

Rose sits stiffly beside Connor, her cell clutched in her steel-grip. Lily told me that Rose has been in “damage control mode”—she even yelled at a reputable news producer for an hour before Connor pried the phone from her fingers. She’s been texting and emailing gossip magazines and lawyers since we landed.

And as I look between the three Calloway girls—Rose in a frazzled state, Daisy drifting far away, and Lil with a sad, soft voice—I get it. I get what Ryke sees and what he feels. I have this insane wish to just make things right again, to plug all the cracks in our lives—just for the small, sliver of hope that these girls will be able to stand up on their own for one more day.

I think the six of us—we’re all strong. We’re each just a different kind of strong. But we all have a different kind of weak too. And I’m figuring out how to bottle my weakness to help them all.

I’m not going to be the villain of my own story. T...

“You’re not related to Lily or me. If you want out, you should probably leave now before things worsen.” I expect Rose to spit at me for untethering her own boyfriend from this complicated matter. Because it’d mean that Connor would have to leave her too. But she’s busy texting on her cell, inhaling sharp breaths every so often that sound like knives slicing her lungs. I even saw her pop some kind of medication. “Rose already showed me where the door is,” Connor says. “I’m fairly capable of knowing when and how to walk out of it.”

“Yes, and you’ll need someone who doesn’t curse every five words to handle the press.” Ryke rolls his eyes, the dig clearly referring to him. “Journalism major,” Ryke says, pointing to his chest. “I know the press better than you, Cobalt.”

Ryke nods to me. “You going to give me an out too?” “No, if I’m going down, you’re burning with me.” “Does that qualify as a brotherly obligation?” “For me, yeah.”

I shrug, indifferent about it all. “Lily and I never ignored you because you’re younger. The phone calls we didn’t pick up, the lunches we canceled, all of that was because we’d rather drink and have sex than be around people. Especially ones that we’d have to lie to.” “That’s messed up,” Daisy tells me. “So I’ve been told.”

I’m beginning to understand what happened. Connor’s mouth slowly parts in realization, letting me know he’s put the pieces together. Why Lily is the way she is.

I remember Lily crying onto my pillow that same night. She never told me straight out, but I knew the only reason she even asked her mother in the first place was because she wanted to hear the word no. A single sign that her mother cared about her the same way that she did Poppy, Rose, and Daisy. That she wasn’t undeserving of her mother’s time and attention. Her mother doted on her other sisters. She put all her excess energy into them, skipping right over Lily as though she was worthless of that affection.

“Lily didn’t need to be good at anything,” I tell him. “Her mother passed over her because she was my friend. I was her future.”

“My mother wanted the two of you to become a couple. I knew that, but I blamed you more for taking my sister away from me. I didn’t realize that she really had nowhere else to go.” Well that kind of makes me feel like shit. She makes it sound like I was Lily’s only option. “She could have stayed home.” “She would have been alone, Loren. I was barely around because of school and ballet.”

“It’s not your fault,” Rose says. “You were a kid. We all were.” “And you have a shitty fucking father,” Ryke adds. “And no mother,” Daisy says. “And you were an alcoholic,” Connor concludes.

“Your history is fucking filthy,” Ryke tells me in a serious tone.

“I hope you enjoyed it,” Lo says with edge, “because that was your last time on the internet.”

“I have watched porn eat away your time and your life. I’m not going to let it happen again.”

“You can be sorry all you want,” she says with a chill. She touches her pearls across her sharp collarbone. “It won’t repair the damage you have done to this family.” She takes a step forward, and I take one step back so we don’t bump chests. “You have everything a girl could ever want, and you had to spread your legs for every boy who gave you an ounce of attention. I didn’t raise you to be so disgusting.”

I deserve her hate. I’ve ruined everything my father has ever created. Years and years of hard work have been tarnished by me and my stupid fucking decisions.

“But Lil, he’s my dad. He’s my fucking family.”

He parks the car and lifts my hand. “You’re my family too.” He kisses my knuckles. “Always.” He wipes a stray tear. “Please don’t be upset over this.” “I just don’t want to see him hurt you,” I say softly. “He won’t.”

My money is gone. I’m broke. Just like Lo.

“The most important and last item on the list…” He reaches into his suit jacket and reveals a small black box. I don’t look at Lo. My eyes zone in on the case as Jonathan opens the lid, a shiny diamond ring inside. “Congratulations,” Jonathan says, his voice more rough than enthusiastic. “You’re now engaged, and the wedding will be held in a year.”