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But the opposite is also true. When Christians learn to be peacemakers, they can turn conflict into an opportunity to strengthen relationships, preserve valuable resources, and make their lives a testimony to the love and power of Christ.
When someone mistreats or opposes us, our instinctive reaction is to justify ourselves and do everything we can to get our way. This selfish attitude usually leads to impulsive decisions that only make matters worse.
Focusing on God is the key to resolving conflict constructively. When we remember his mercy and draw on his strength, we invariably see things more clearly and respond to conflict more wisely.
escape responses
attack responses.
peacemaking re...
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Thinking that Christians should always agree, or fearing that conflict will inevitably damage relationships,
attack responses. These responses are used by people who are more interested in winning a conflict than in preserving a relationship.
Attack responses are typically used by people who are strong and self-confident.
Overlooking an offense is a form of forgiveness and involves a deliberate decision not to talk about it, dwell on it, or let it grow into pent-up bitterness or anger.
The more we understand and obey what he teaches, the more effective we will be in resolving disagreements with other people.
conflict as a difference in opinion or purpose that frustrates someone’s goals or desires.
although we should seek unity in our relationships, we should not demand uniformity (see Eph. 4:1–13).
Most importantly, the Bible teaches that we should see conflict neither as an inconvenience nor as an occasion to force our will on others, but rather as an opportunity to demonstrate the love and power of God in our lives.
The best way to glorify God in the midst of conflict is to depend on and draw attention to his grace, that is, the undeserved love, mercy, forgiveness, strength, and wisdom he gives to us through Jesus Christ.
when we live out the gospel in our lives and mirror Jesus’ humility, mercy, forgiveness, and loving correction, we surprise the world and give concrete evidence of the Lord’s presence and power in our lives (see Phil. 1:9–11; 1 Peter 2:12).
Every time you encounter a conflict, you will inevitably show what you really think of God.
It is important to realize that if you do not glorify God when you are involved in a conflict, you will inevitably glorify someone or something else.
God may also use conflict to expose sinful attitudes and habits in your life. Conflict is especially effective in breaking down appearances and revealing stubborn pride, a bitter and unforgiving heart, or a critical tongue.
The concept of stewardship is especially relevant to peacemaking. Whenever you are involved in a conflict, God has given you a management opportunity. He has empowered you through the gospel and entrusted you with abilities and spiritual resources.
There are three dimensions to the peace that God offers to us through Christ: peace with God, peace with one another, and peace within ourselves.
When your life is filled with unresolved conflict and broken relationships, you will have little success in sharing the good news about Jesus’ saving work on the cross.
knowledge of the sovereignty of God should motivate us to be even more responsible.
God will always make available the strength and help we need to deal with the difficulties of life.
Cause and effect are in God’s hands. Is it not the part of faith simply to let them rest there?
you may have an overly sensitive attitude, which causes you to be offended too easily by others’ behavior. Second, you may have contributed to the conflict through your own sinful behavior.
Being gentle in the midst of conflict is a powerful way to breathe grace to others,
Gentleness is especially appropriate if the person who wronged you is experiencing unusual stress. If so, the wrong done to you may be a symptom of a deeper problem.
When you remind yourself of God’s faithfulness in the past and ally yourself with him today, you will discover that your anxiety is being steadily replaced with confidence and trust
Conflict is often much more expensive than we expect it to be.
always strive to exercise only those rights that would pass both a legal and a heavenly review.
An idol is anything apart from God that we depend on to be happy, fulfilled, or secure.
it is something we love and pursue more than God
It is important to emphasize the fact that idols can arise from good desires as well as wicked desires. It is often not what we want that is the problem, but that we want it too much.
if they turn into demands that must be met in order for us to be satisfied and fulfilled, they can lead to bitterness, resentment, or self-pity that can destroy a family, business, or church.
What is the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing on my mind at night?
Is there something I desire so much that I am willing to disappoint or hurt others in order to have it?
in a fallen world we will never have entirely pure hearts. But this is never an excuse to let selfish desires rule us,
When they fail to satisfy our desires and live up to our expectations, we criticize and condemn them in our hearts if not with our words.
We judge others—criticize, nit-pick, nag, attack, condemn—because we literally play God.
When you and I fight, our minds become filled with accusations: your wrongs and my rights preoccupy me.
We play the self-righteous judge in the mini-kingdoms we establish.
Idols always demand sacrifices.
When someone fails to satisfy our demands and expectations, our idol demands that he should suffer.
pouting, stomping, or shooting dirty looks to hurt us for not meeting their desires.
impose guilt or shame on others by walking around with a pained or crushed look on their faces.
physical violence or sexual abuse to punish and...
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Withdrawal from a relationship
refusing to look him or her in the eye, or even abandoning the relationship altogether.
James 4:1–3 teaches, inflicting pain on others is one of the surest signs that an idol is ruling our hearts.
