All Systems Red (The Murderbot Diaries, #1)

by Martha Wells

“You have to kill me.”

So I grabbed the handweapon lying on the seat, turned it toward my chest, and pulled the trigger.

“It calls itself ‘Murderbot,’” Gurathin said. I opened my eyes and looked at him; I couldn’t stop myself. From their expressions I knew everything I felt was showing on my face, and I hate that. I grated out, “That was private.”

Again, I couldn’t help it. I said, “She didn’t kill him, that’s a fucking lie.” Ratthi turned to Mensah. “It’s watching it.”

I hate having emotions about reality; I’d much rather have them about Sanctuary Moon.

“I didn’t read it.” Arada said, gently, “Why not?” With all of them staring at me, I couldn’t come up with a good lie. “I didn’t care.”

Gurathin turned to me. “So you don’t have a governor module, but we could punish you by looking at you.” I looked at him. “Probably, right up until I remember I have guns built into my arms.”

I panic all the time, you just can’t see it, I told her. I added the text signifier for “joke.”

“Good news! Dr. Mensah has permanently bought your contract! You’re coming home with us!” That was a surprise.

I don’t know what I want. I said that at some point, I think. But it isn’t that, it’s that I don’t want anyone to tell me what I want, or to make decisions for me. That’s why I left you, Dr. Mensah, my favorite human. By the time you get this I’ll be leaving Corporation Rim. Out of inventory and out of sight. Murderbot end message.