More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
As a
result we spend a lot of time worrying about things that, more often than not, never happen.
Another essential for the survival of any early human is to...
This highlight has been truncated due to consecutive passage length restrictions.
comparing you with other members of the clan:
Our modern-day minds are continually warning us of rejection and comparing us to the rest of society.
When we take action on the things that truly matter deep in our hearts, move in directions that we consider valuable and worthy, clarify what we stand for in life and act accordingly, then our lives become rich and full and meaningful, and we experience a powerful sense of vitality.
bother you much less, and they “move on” much more rapidly, instead of “hanging around” and disturbing you. (The official ACT term for this principle is “acceptance.” I have changed it because the word “acceptance” has many different meanings and is often misunderstood.) 3. CONNECTION Connecting fully with whatever is happening right here, right now; focusing on and engaging in whatever you’re doing or experiencing. Instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, you are deeply connected with the present moment. (The official ACT phrase is “Contact with the Present Moment.” I
...more
direction for your life and motivate you to make important changes. 6. COMMITTED ACTION A rich and meaningful life is created through taking action. But not just any action. It happens through effective action, guided by and motivated by your values. And in particular, it happens through committed action: action that you take again and again, no matter how many times you fail or go off track.
skills.” Mindfulness is a mental state of awareness, openness, and focus — a state that conveys enormous physical and psychological benefits.
Psychological flexibility is the ability to adapt to a situation with awareness, openness, and focus and to take effective action, guided by your values.
you won’t change your life simply by reading this book. To do that, you will have to take action.
It’s important not to confuse thoughts with the mental pictures or physical feelings that often accompany them. To clarify the difference, here’s a little experiment. Take a few moments to think about what you’re going to fix for breakfast tomorrow morning. Then, as you’re thinking about it, close your eyes and observe your thoughts as they happen. Notice what form they take. Close your eyes and do this for about half a minute.
Thoughts = words inside our heads. Images = pictures inside our heads. Sensations = feelings inside our bodies.
which is why in ACT we often refer to thoughts as stories. Sometimes they are true stories (called “facts”), and sometimes they are false.
In ACT, our main interest in a thought is not whether it’s true or false, but whether it’s helpful; that is, if we pay attention to this thought, will it help us create the life we want?
No matter how detailed the description, the story is not the event (and vice versa).
too often we react to our thoughts as if they are the absolute truth or as if we must give them all our attention. The psychological jargon for this reaction is “fusion.”
Thus, we react to words about a lemon as if a lemon is actually present; we react to words in a crime novel as if someone really is about to be murdered; we react to words like “I’m useless” as if we actually are useless; and we react to words like “I’m going to fail” as if failure is a foregone conclusion. In a state of fusion, it seems as if:
Thoughts are reality — what we’re thinking is actually happening, here and now. • Thoughts are the truth — we completely believe them. • Thoughts are important — we take them seriously and give them our full attention. • Thoughts are orders — we automatically obey them. • Thoughts are wise — we assume they know best, and we follow their advice. • Thoughts can be threats — some thoughts can be deeply disturbing or frightening, and we feel the need to get rid of them.
thoughts. Instead, you can step back and see those thoughts for what they are: nothing more than words passing through your head.
Thoughts are merely sounds, words, stories, or bits of language. • Thoughts may or may not be true; we don’t automatically believe them. • Thoughts may or may not be important; we pay attention only if they’re helpful. • Thoughts are definitely not orders; we certainly don’t have to obey them. • Thoughts may or may not be wise; we don’t automatically
Thoughts are never threats; even the most painful or disturbing of thoughts does not represent a threat to us. In ACT we have many different techniques to facilitate
Most psychological approaches regard negative stories as a major problem and make a big fuss about trying to eliminate them.
Negative stories are not seen as a problem in their own right. It’s only when we “fuse” with them, when we react as if they were the truth and give them our full attention, that they become problematic. When we read about celebrities in the tabloids, we know that
Defusion allows us to be like the first set of celebrities: the stories are there, but we don’t take them seriously. We don’t pay them much attention, and we certainly don’t waste our time and energy trying to fight them. In ACT we don’t try to avoid or get rid of the story. We know how ineffective that is. Instead we simply acknowledge: “This is a story.”
Identify your mind’s favorite stories, then give them names, such as the “loser!” story, or the “my life sucks!” story, or the “I can’t do it!” story.
just let it be. You don’t have to challenge it or push it away, nor do you have to give it much attention. Simply let it come and go as it pleases, while you channel your energy into doing something you value.
I’m Having the Thought That . . ., Musical Thoughts, and Naming the Story.
I’m Having the Thought That . . ., Musical Thoughts, and Naming the Story.
