Kettlebell Simple & Sinister

by Pavel Tsatsouline

You will be training three to six times a week on a flexible schedule. Your workout is 100 swings total and five get-ups per arm, which is a very modest volume.

You will be doing swings in sets of ten and get-ups in sets of one to assure the highest power output in swings and perfect technique in both. You will not be rushing between sets because the program is biased towards strength and quality.

Every two weeks you will test your readiness and your spirit, and push the pedal to the metal with a non-stop, all-out set of swings.

The first exercise—the prying goblet squat—unlocks the pelvis and hips. The freedom of movement it will give you is mind-boggling.

The second exercise—the StrongFirst hip bridge—will stretch the hip flexors, the muscles on the top of the thighs that act like brakes for the glutes. It will release deadly strikes, fast sprints, and powerful jumps.

The third exercise—the halo—will stretch the upper back and shoulde...

Start each practice with three circuits of five reps ...

Perform the above three drills in the specified order for three circuits before your kettlebell training.

Two-Arm Swing When you have the hike pass down, start swinging. Hike and pendulum the bell for a few reps and then, once you find a rhythm, explosively straighten after finishing a hike pass. Look at the horizon for the duration of the drill. Keep your head up without jamming your neck. As before, do not think about the bell on the way up. Drive with your hips and let it freely pendulum. On the upswing the arms and shoulders only transfer the hips’ power, but they do not lift the kettlebell. The arms must be straight and loose to do the job—like ropes. If your technique is correct, the kettlebell will form an extension of the arms. Memorize this: In the swing the arms work on the negative, the hips on the positive. If you are doing everything right, the bell will naturally go up to a level somewhere between your stomach and shoulders. Do not try to swing it higher! Like a broad jump or a straight punch, the swing is an exercise in projecting power forward. On a related subject, do not lean back at the top of the swing. Let your glutes do the job; leave your back out of it. It is also very important to brace your abs. If your heels come up, release the kettlebell to protect your back! This applies to all swing evolutions. Soon you will learn to play a tug-of-war with the kettlebell and subtly change the weight distribution on your feet in response to the kettlebell’s shenanigans. Incidentally, being able to reflexively react to such perturbations is an important component o...

Here is a key subtlety to work on next: Once the kettlebell has reached the apex of its flight, let it float for an instant. Then, once it has started falling, guide it back between your legs using the lats. Stay upright and do not release the glutes until your forearms almost hit your stomach. At the very last instant, hinge your hips and get out of the way. Play chicken with the kettlebell.

A hard style swing demands maximally explosive individual reps—not maximum speed.

When you are very competent in the two-arm swing, and not a moment sooner, add the one-arm swing to your practice.

Swing Standards

Get-up Standards

You will start by training every day, taking an occasional day off when your body insists, or when your schedule puts you in a crunch. Here is your training session for the first couple of weeks: swings and get-ups. Train any time of the day. Start with three circuits of mobility exercises—prying goblet squats, hip bridges, haloes.

Then do five sets of ten swings, mostly two-arm swings at this stage, occasionally adding a couple of sets of one-arm or hand-to-hand swings. A couple of months down the road when your one- arm swing is solid, it will be the only version you will be using.

Actively rest until your breathing is halfway down to normal.

Stay with the above volume—the total number of reps—until you fully recover from day to day. If you are out of shape, this might take weeks. If you are in great condition, it will take a couple of days. Then increase the swing volume by 50%, keeping the get-up volume the same. When you can comfortably get through that workout and the morning after, if your energy is high and soreness is minimal, up the swing total again.

Enter the kettlebell. Its shape and compact size allow one to safely accelerate it on the way down in swings and snatches—a so-called overspeed eccentric. Our instructors have been clocked swinging a 24kg bell down with almost 10G, making it “weigh” over 500 pounds. This is “virtual force,” but its effects are very real.

Employ overspeed eccentrics or shadow swings only with light kettlebells—30% of your bodyweight or less—and only in two-arm swings. Hike the bell back with all-out acceleration and aggression.

Do not allow the kettlebell to slow down during swings—even if the goal is conditioning. The least productive, most exhausting and injury-producing form of resistance training is a high-rep semi-grind—think

It is equally important that you not only maintain high speed, but finish each rep with a powerful glute cramp and abdominal brace.

Eventually you will reach the point where the work-to-rest ratio is 1:1, which means you will hammer out 100 swings in five minutes and ten get-ups in ten minutes. It is almost time to move up in weight.

Even though this program is very conservative, life happens and there will be days when your body will tell you to take it easy. Do not turn an off-day into a day off. Easy training is far better than no training.

Cut the weight in both exercises. Make up for it by using “virtual force” in the swings and being extra precise in the get-ups.

Use the two-arm version and employ overspeed eccentrics, the shadow swing.

Once you are doing all the sets with a heavy weight, work on dominating it. Then slowly compress the rest periods. When you are finally able to do 100 swings in five minutes and five plus five get-ups in ten minutes—move up in weight again, using a staggered pattern.

It goes without saying that your swings and get-ups will progress at a different rate. If your swings are at five minutes, you do not need to wait for the get-ups to hit ten before bumping up your swing weight.

I will give you two sets of goals, one simple and the other sinister. The first are easily achievable by most, and you must reach them if you are to enjoy the various benefits of S&S. The second set of goals is for an ambitio...

Every two weeks take a kettlebell one or more sizes lighter than the one you are currently swinging. Pick a swing variation—two-arm, one-arm, hand-to-hand, mixed—and enjoy the pain.

Do not introduce non-stop swings into your training until your normal training weight is 24kg if you are a woman, or 32kg if you are a man. You have no business pushing yourself “beyond the interval” until you have this much strength and experience.

SIMPLE & SINISTER SUMMARIZED