The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

by Beatrice Chestnut

Twos can be of either gender, of course, but the Type Two archetype mirrors the Jungian concept of “anima,” or the inner feminine. Jung described the anima as being like a “glamorous, possessive, moody, and sentimental seductress.”

These individuals find self-worth in being needed by those they value and (unconsciously) seek to get their own needs met in return. Their aid constitutes a strategic means of getting needs met through promises of reciprocal care, which sometimes involves promising more than can be delivered.

The natural strengths of Type Twos include their genuine ability to listen to others, empathize with their feelings, and meet their needs. They are usually cheerful, optimistic, warm, and friendly. Twos are naturally practiced in the art of using positive communication to create rapport.

But at times they may get in their own way by overdoing their focus on shape-shifting to please others. For instance, Twos can’t help imagining that other people are as sensitive to criticism as they are.

The help and support that Twos provide is strategic aid, though they are not always aware of their underlying motives. Reciprocity is the key to this survival strategy.

AS PART OF THE “HEART-BASED” or “emotion-based” triad of types, the personality structure of the Two is associated with the emotion of sadness or grief. Twos have a focus on creating a specific image of themselves.

While Type Fours overdo an attachment to grief, and Type Threes underdo grief, Twos are in conflict with their sadness.

They’ve disowned who they really are and created a specific image to try to get the love (or approval) they need. All three of the heart types have core issues related to unmet needs to be deeply seen, accepted, and loved for who they are.

While Threes create an image of achievement and success, and Fours present themselves as unique and special, Twos strive to have a likable, pleasing image.

Type Two is sometimes called “The Giver” or “The Helper,” but they don’t offer their “help” consistently or unconditionally to just anyone. Fundamental to this type is an often-unconscious habit of strategic giving to make people indebted to them.

For these individuals, this sorrow comes from having the sense that they are not loved for who they are but for what they do for others.

Twos can free themselves from this pattern by humbly giving up their power to seduce others into meeting their needs. When they do so, they reveal the graciousness of true generosity and open up the possibility of receiving the love they have longed to know.

The archetypal story of the Two begins with an experience, often very early in childhood, of some...

Twos develop a survival strategy in which they repress their needs in favor of tuning in to the needs of others. The effort of being super-supportive of others, they hope, will motivate others to meet their unstated needs in reciprocal fashion.

The whole Two personality can be seen as a strategic defense against the humiliation of having to acknowledge need.

On one hand, asking for needs to be met seems unthinkable to the Two, as it seems sure to invite further rejection.

The Two’s primary defense mechanism is repression, which operates like a kind of psychological anesthetic. Repression consigns specific perceptions or emotions to unconsciousness.

Put another way, when a Two experiences an internal conflict between what they are feeling or thinking and what they believe they need to present to form a connection with an important person, they will repress their real thought or feeling to protect the relationship.

As what is repressed inevitably leaks out, however, Twos can often be experienced as “needy” by those who can observe this leakage in ways that Twos can’t because their disowned needs have become a “blind spot” (or Shadow element) of their personality.

Twos also habitually focus on managing their own presentation based on what they think other people will like. Twos are shape-shifters, and the shape they shift into depends on the data they collect from reading the people they want to attune to.

Even though they prioritize positive connections with important others, Twos can end up not being very present in their “closest” relationships. Their focus is on doing for others and seducing the as-yet-unseduced, not on being who they are and being present in their own experience of life and relationships.

Pride is the passion—the specific emotional motivation—of the Type Two.

Sandra Maitri observes, “our pride rests upon valuing ourselves and investing energy into how we would like to see ourselves—our idealized self-image—rather than perceiving ourselves directly, as we really are.”

On the inflated side, Twos feel prideful when they believe they are able to meet everybody’s needs. Consequently, Twos take on more and more responsibility for making others happy, even when they feel burdened or exhausted.

Type Twos’ cognitive mistake centers on the underlying assumption that they have to seduce others into liking them. Conversely, they may think that it is “selfish” to focus on their own needs and desires.

For Type Twos, this trap can be summarized with the quandary “I make people like me by being less like me.” Twos inevitably lose touch with who they really are by striving to “make others like them.”

Twos give of themselves selectively, with the (sometimes unconscious) expectation that they will receive something in return. This strategic “giving to get” represents a key unconscious habit of the Two.

So while it’s true that Twos like to be wanted, they don’t necessarily want to have to follow through on what they might offer. As Naranjo points out, Twos tend to live in the present, yet not in a way that represents a healthy “present-centeredness,” but as a subterfuge, because “they don’t want to think of the future consequences of their actions nor remember yesterday’s commitment.”

At times a Two might avoid negative emotions through repression, only to be overwhelmed by them when they can no longer be repressed. Twos may become outwardly emotional when they would prefer not to be seen as emotional.

Along with Type Fours, perhaps, Twos are the romantics of the Enneagram. Their deep need for love, together with their focus on relationships as a source of romantic satisfaction, gives them an affinity for all things romantic, whether it be a good love story, fantasies of fulfilling experiences with a romantic partner, or music or poetry that communicates romantic feeling.

As Naranjo himself asserts, Type Two personalities can be the most hedonistic of all the types of the Enneagram.13

Twos often don’t recognize the need for the boundaries that are necessary to foster the balance between freedom and contact in a healthy relationship.

In the subtypes, the passion of pride gets channeled into three different ways of trying to get needs met: indirectly, through others’ protection and care (Self-Preservation); by gaining admiration and respect through one’s knowledge and abilities (Social); or by creating an attractive image and adapting in order to woo specific individuals (Sexual).

The Self-Preservation Two is the most childlike Two; the Social Two is more of an adult “Power Two”; and the Sexual Two is like a force of nature, resembling the femme fatale archetype and its male equivalent. The Self-Preservation Two seduces by being charming, playful, and cute. The Social Two seduces groups through power and competence. The Sexual Two employs a more classic mode of seduction: wooing others through attractiveness and flattery, and seducing specific individuals into providing for all their needs and wants.

So what is prominent in the Self-Preservation Two is this pure, young need for love. This Two “remains little” as a way of evoking care from others without having to ask for it, just as children shouldn’t have to ask for love and care or aren’t mature enough to articulate this kind of request directly.

Self-Preservation Twos need to feel unique and special—they have a compulsion about being the “cute” girl or boy who is liked by everybody. They charm or “give themselves” to others to remain the favorite.

the Self-Preservation Two is more fearful, less trusting, and more ambivalent about connections with others. Although these Twos may not be aware of how fearful they are—all Twos repress feelings—they may have a more pronounced need than other Twos to protect themselves in the presence of others, which might be perceived by some as an invisible “wall.” The ambivalence about connection experienced by this type takes the form of mixed or conflicting feelings about establishing close connections with others, especially important or intimate others.

Until they engage in self-awareness work, this Two can be easily hurt and is hypersensitive to slights or anything that might sound like criticism or disapproval. They may have tantrums or sulk or withdraw when upset. Feeling hurt can result in pouting, angry recriminations, or childish accusations. They may manipulate through an expression of feeling instead of stepping up and saying what they want or what they dislike.

in the Six the emphasis is on a more generalized fear, while this Two’s fear mainly manifests in relationships. This Two can also resemble a Type Four in that they express more emotionality and a longing for love, but they repress their needs and feelings and focus on others more than Fours do.

In contrast to the other Two subtypes, the Social Two appears as a powerful or intellectual person. This Two has a passion for power, and their pride is expressed through having influence and advantages and cultivating an image of being an influential person.

This Two is the most obviously proud subtype because they are ambitious, know the right people, do important things, occupy positions of leadership, and are usually admired for their accomplishments.

Seduction operates in this case through the Social Two’s ability to influence the larger group by being impressive, exceptional, and knowledgeable.

Although it often operates at a subconscious level, this Two has the strongest reliance on “giving to get” as a strategy in interacting with others. The Social Two almost always has a strategic angle when expressing generosity.

This Two can be a bit more introverted than the other Twos. They are more attuned to the effective cultivation of a public image that conveys power and authority; this makes them good performers in front of an audience, but it also necessitates a greater level of privacy or removal when they are offstage.

People with this subtype tend to deny vulnerable emotions, such as shame, fear, despair, mistrust, jealousy, and envy. They may sincerely believe they are displaying vulnerability when they aren’t, or they may use a show of vulnerability for effect with an audience.

The Sexual Two is a seducer of particular individuals. Classical seduction is the main approach of this Two, who expresses a driving need to seduce other people as a way of getting their needs met.

While the Self-Preservation Two is the countertype of Two, with conflicting impulses toward and away from people, and the Social Two is a more adult Two oriented to power and control, the Sexual Two is a generous, flexible, somewhat wild, action-oriented Two who is not afraid to woo others by using sexuality as a weapon of conquest.

This pattern reflects a prideful sense that others will want to meet their needs because they are so appealing, charming, and generous.

This Two resembles the French expression of the femme fatale (or its male equivalent) archetype in that there is a kind of “dangerous irresistibility” to this personality. In a similar way, the “Aggressive/Seductive” title given to this subtype suggests an association with the archetype of a vampire.

Two may need attention or money or pampering, but whatever it is, the strategy to obtain it centers around classical seduction designed to create a special connection through which the Two can have their needs and desires satisfied.