The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

by Beatrice Chestnut

These beliefs develop early on in Fours in response to real circumstances, and they also evolve throughout their lives as a kind of protection against hoping that the situation will change for the better.

if you already believe you aren’t worthy, you won’t be confronted with the unexpected and painful experience of further rejection or frustration.

Naranjo explains that Fours have “a need to suffer.” Fours’ pattern of hoping they will earn or attract love through their pain results in a tendency to be masochistic or to (unconsciously) move toward painful experiences.

Suffering can also be an expression of the Four’s unique capacity to feel things deeply and to endure pain and to comfort themselves through making contact with their pain.

Along with Type Twos, Fours are the most emotional of the Enneagram personalities. In contrast to Twos, however, Fours tend to be more introverted and are sometimes more intellectual.

Fours value emotional intensity and authenticity, they tend to feel emotions deeply, and they find more comfort in feelings like melancholy or sadness than most other types do.

Perhaps more than any other Enneagram type, Fours possess the gift of empathy.

Their ability to feel their own feelings at a deep level gives them both a familiarity with and an understanding of the intense emotional experiences of others.

Fours also automatically tune into the emotional level of social interactions—they have the natural ability to intuit what is happening below the surface of things on a deeper, emotional level.

Fours easily see the beauty inherent in things.

Four’s real desire for closeness, a desire that can seem dangerous once someone actually comes close to the Four.

This dynamic explains why Fours often feel a deep sense of ambivalence in relationships: they may both appreciate or love a person and want to be close to them, but also have an acute perception of what is missing or flawed about that person, which makes it hard for them to fully embrace them.

The Type Four personality itself is a kind of archetypal representation of the Shadow. Fours typically focus their attention on the kinds of emotional experiences that ot...

they can’t make the transition to accepting what is satisfying and “good enough” in the present.

Fours’ tendency to have a poor self-image and focus on suffering represent unconscious ways they lock themselves into not getting what they desire, even while they are preoccupied with the need for it and fantasies of getting it.

Fours make good targets for unconscious group projections of the Shadow, not because they are actually bad in some way but because they are highly sensitive to emotions like grief and pain. They make effective targets for others’ projections because they can’t help but be aware of—and voice—the negative aspects that others don’t want to see or own. This is why many Fours become the “identified patient” in their families. And this whole dynamic can work to reinforce the Four’s defenses, which in some ways cause them to take refuge in their “badness” as a way of avoiding the positive aspects of themselves that might lead them to open up to the dangerous prospect of being seen and loved.

Fours’ suffering grows out of the habit of comparing themselves to others and feeling deficient—enviously thinking that something outside of them is better or more ideal, and experiencing a sense of inner lack.

The Self-Preservation Four internalizes and to some extent denies or suppresses suffering; the Social Four lives in it too much and wears it on his or her sleeve; and the Sexual Four projects it out onto others to evacuate (and thus defend against) a painful sense of inferiority.

the Social Fours suffer, the Self-Preservation Fours are long-suffering, and the Sexual Fours make others suffer.

The Self-Preservation Four is the countertype of the Four subtypes, and so it may be difficult to identify this person as a Four. Although this Four experiences envy like the other Fours, they communicate their envy and suffering to others less than the other two Four subtypes do. Instead of talking about their suffering, these Fours are“long-suffering” in the sense of learning to endure pain without wincing.

Endurance is a virtue for them, and they hope their self-sacrifices will be recognized and appreciated, though they don’t talk about them very much.

this Four makes a virtue of toughing out difficulties without talking about them, hoping that others will see this, admire them for it, and help them to meet their needs.

The Self-Preservation subtype is the countertype Four because they go to the other extreme, developing a high capacity to internalize and bear frustration.

They spend a lot of energy on being afraid of what’s happening instead of dealing with problems and making improvements, so they habitually postpone actions necessary to achieving what they want and then blame themselves for doing so.

They may be ambitious, but they deny and work against their own ambitions.

some Self-Preservation Fours express a need to be light. With all the enduring and efforting these Fours do, they may at times display the high energy characteristic of Sevens, and they may also have a need for fun and playfulness as an escape from having to tough things out all the time.

The Social Four appears emotionally sensitive (or oversensitive), feels things deeply, and suffers more than most people. For this Four, there is a desire to be witnessed and seen in their suffering.

While there is some truth to the idea that the path of transformation requires difficulty, this higher ideal gets put to use in justifying the expression of dissatisfaction as a way of attracting the help of others. Social Fours rationalize their attachment to suffering instead of doing something about it, and they depend too much on their needs being fulfilled by others.

The Social Four’s envy is expressed through a passion for comparing oneself with others and winding up in the lowest position. To others, the extremity of their mindset and insistence that “there’s something wrong with me” can be surprising. They have a poor self-image that they themselves perpetuate.

The Social Four feels guilty for any wish. Shame puts their internal focus on intense and dark emotions such as envy, jealousy, hatred, and competition. They are too shy to express desires, except through a display of suffering.

In the Sexual Four subtype, the inner motivation is envy, and its manifestation as competition. These Fours don’t feel consciously envious so much as they feel competitive as a way of muting the pain associated with envy. If they can compete against another person they perceive as having more than they do and win, they can feel better about themselves.

Sexual Fours “make others suffer” because they feel that they have been made to suffer and so need some sort of compensation. They may seek to hurt or punish others as an unconscious way of repudiating or minimizing their own pain.

Naranjo points out that envy is an “excessive desiring.” Fours’ desiring is excessive because it grows out of an early and painful experience of frustration and because it “asks for more than can be expected.”

Consciously embodying an attitude of service to others can highlight Fours’ qualities of optimism, generosity, and cheerfulness—attributes that they might not always see and value in themselves.

The strategy of trying to be good as a way of earning approval may not have worked if they had to cope with an overwhelming sense of loss or deep feelings of deficiency.

TYPE THREE REPRESENTS THE ARCHETYPE of the person who seeks to create an image of value and success, and to gain the admiration of others, through active efforts in both work and appearance.

Type Threes are the prototype for the way in which we all adopt a personality as an external public face in order to survive in the world and mediate between the inner self and the social environment. It is the model for the desire we all have to “put on a good face” or wear a social mask as a means of both protection and a marketing effort.

Type Threes tend to lose contact with the deeper emotions they naturally have that might interfere with the design of the image they create for others, and thus may become overidentified with their persona and under-identified with who they really are.

We also find the Three archetype in American culture in the emphasis on the values of “the market:” the importance of packaging, advertising, and selling products; the central focus on “winning” in a competitive environment by attracting the most customers; and the driving force of profit maximization through prioritizing work and corporate interests.

Threes are skilled at using goals to motivate their efforts and are resourceful and productive in achieving those goals.

Their specific “superpower” is their ability to make things happen by finding the most direct path to their goal, removing obstacles that might get in the way—and looking good the whole time. They know how to assure their own success by working diligently, completing the tasks necessary to reaching their goal, and exuding an image of success and competence.

they exhaust themselves by working too hard, and they lose sight of who they really are apart from the persona they’ve adopted to achieve their goals.

AS PART OF THE “HEART-BASED” or “emotion-based” triad of types, the personality structure of the Three is centered in the emotion of sadness or grief.

Each of the heart type personalities (Two, Three, and Four) relate to other people primarily through emotional empathy.

While Type Fours overdo an attachment to grief and Type Twos are in conflict with their sadness, Threes underdo grief, habitually numbing out their feelings so they don’t get in the way of working to reach their goals.

Their respective coping strategies are designed to gain approval from other people in three distinct ways as a substitute for the love they seek but fear they can’t get as they are.

While Twos strive to have a likable, pleasing image, and Fours present themselves as unique and special, Threes create an image of achievement and success.

Threes report that they received the message early on that they were loved for what they did.

Threes develop a sense that they are not loved for who they really are as individuals but for what they do. This leads them to adopt a coping strategy of conforming to parental expectations and conventional ideals of achievement.

Threes develop a survival strategy in which they identify with and then become what others value. Type Three individuals possess a sensitive radar, or antenna, for what others like, admire, and view as successful.