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Been hacking his way round a golf-course, no doubt. Damn stupid game, in my opinion. I could understand it if one was trying to hit rabbits or intercept the odd partridge. You can’t eat a hole-in-one, can you? You can’t draw the entrails of a good putt.
history ought to consist only of the anecdotes of the little people who are caught up in it.
‘Did you know that childhood is the only time in our lives when insanity is not only permitted to us, but expected?’
every man needs an obsession in order to enjoy life, and it was so much the better if that obsession was constructive.
Well, you can just drink my fart.’
We should care for each other more than we care for ideas, or else we will end up killing each other.
in the Army ‘intelligent’ means ‘doesn’t usually fuck anything up’),
in the old days men were the playthings of the gods, and had advanced no further than to become the toys of other men who thought that they themselves were gods.
He was a meteor who had turned out to be an incandescent fart.
a kind of saint who thought of temptation as something to play with rather than something to be opposed, but who remained a man of honour because he knew no other way to be.
Everything in His speeches is contradicted somewhere by another speech, since He has acutely observed that we Italians only pick up the points with which we ourselves agree, and in this manner He has made Himself all things to all men.
A German plans a month in advance what his bowel movements will be at Easter, and the British plan everything in retrospect, so it always looks as though everything occurred as they intended. The French plan everything whilst appearing to be having a party, and the Spanish … well, God knows.
no one is more truly themselves than when they are sick or injured. That’s when the qualities come out.

