The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace: Empowering Organizations by Encouraging People

by Gary Chapman

working together on the Motivating by Appreciation Project. We began by creating the MBA Inventory, which helps individual employees discover their primary appreciation language, their secondary language, and the language that is least meaningful to them.

As these real-life examples show, what makes one person feel appreciated does not make another person feel appreciated. Thus, even in companies where recognition is deemed important, efforts at expressing appreciation are often ineffective.

Steven Covey, author of the bestselling The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, feels so strongly about people’s need for appreciation that he states: “Next to physical survival, the greatest need of a human being is psychological survival, to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated.”1

Team members will experience a lack of connectedness with others and with the mission of the organization.

This is something we have to adapt to now with more remote work.

attempts to communicate appreciation globally across an organization are not very effective.

Agreed. It's nice, but doesn't feel individually effective.

Recognition is largely about behavior. “Catch them doing what you want and recognize it,” the books say. Appreciation, conversely, focuses on performance plus the employee’s value as a person. Recognition is about improving performance and focuses on what is good for the company. Appreciation emphasizes what is good for the company and good for the person (which may sometimes mean helping them find a position that is better for them than their current role).

relational direction of recognition is top-down, coming from leadership. Appreciation, on the other hand, can be communicated in any direction.

Now, Discover Your Strengths: “To excel as a manager, to turn your people’s talents into productive, powerful strengths, requires an additional all-important ingredient. Lacking this ingredient … you will never reach excellence. The all-important ingredient is individualization.”

the principles can apply regardless of the type of formal positional relationship you have with others.

MAKING IT PERSONAL

1. Maybe a 7? 2. 3 3. When a coworker calls and checks in on me. An IM is good, but calls seem to help more. 4. I send recognition badges, emails that copy supervisors, verbally and directly, or thanking in a meeting. Sometimes sending a gift. 5. 5

ultimately the question “Why?” arises. “Why should we be concerned about communicating appreciation to our employees? We pay them fairly. In these economic conditions, they should be thankful they have a job.”

I can see this as being a big question this year in white collar businesses. But in other industries, there seems to be a viable labor shortage, so employee appreciate is likely even more crucial.

So, a reality-based question that needs to be answered is: “What benefits will I (or my organization) gain from engaging in a process of consistently communicating appreciation to my staff?”

in reality, only 12 percent of employees reported leaving for more money,

employees were more psychological in nature—including not feeling trusted or valued.

Most supervisors are not aware of this fact,

This statistic has been spread and discussed for years; how could managers and organizations not know? Seems unlikely.

Obviously, the variety of occupations and industries

Let's add Insurance Claims Adjusters and Professionals

Job satisfaction is a measurable assessment of the degree to which an employee (or volunteer) feels satisfied in his or her current role in a work-oriented organization.

most significant causes of declining productivity and sagging morale

“the visible cost” of staff turnover as including the cost of termination, advertising and recruitment of new employees, candidate travel, the cost associated with selection, hiring, assignment, orientation, signing bonuses, and relocation.8

vacancy until the job is filled, temporary loss of production, the erosion of morale and stability of those who remain, loss of efficiency, and the impact on customer relationships while the new hire becomes acclimated to their position.9

team members who are most likely to leave are those who are the most talented, well-trained, and have the capability to make a positive contribution

Complexity of the work (the more complex, the more satisfaction) • Financial pay • General work conditions • Recognition • Being able to use one’s skills and talents • Perception that one’s work is important and valued • Quality of interpersonal relationships at work • Coworker satisfaction • Decision-making control • Level of responsibility • Workload

I would sy these are pretty applicable. There is some unrest about no cost of living increase despite economy showing this is increasing country-wide.

coworkers (often more than supervisors) highly value knowing how to effectively communicate encouragement and appreciation to their teammates.

The benefits for a business are clear: • Reductions in employee turnover • Improved attendance and productivity • Greater customer satisfaction • More positive relationships between supervisors, staff, and peer colleagues • An overall more positive corporate culture and work environment

Words of Affirmation is the language that uses words to communicate a positive message to another person.

Effective verbal praise is specific. The more you can “catch” a staff person doing a task in the way you want and you call attention to that specific task or behavior, the more likely that behavior is going to occur again.

The idea with dialects is interesting. I try to be very specific, but I know general affirmations don't help me.

Character looks beyond performance and focuses on the inner nature of a person. Character is the cumulative result of repeated choices that have become part of the person’s makeup. Character reveals what a person will do when no one is observing.

Another dialect of words of appreciation is words that focus on positive personality traits. Personality is our normal way of approaching life.

Distinguishing character from personality is important here.

Understanding the preferred context in which you affirm someone is another part of learning to speak the language of Words of Affirmation fluently.

So email, in meetings, one-on-one, badges....

Knowing the preference of the person being honored is exceedingly important.

She loves to receive notes of thanks from the women she has served, even if they are almost illegible, with poor grammar and spelling. In fact, Becky keeps an “encouragement file” in which she puts notes that she receives. Then when she is tired or discouraged, she pulls out the file and rereads the notes to help keep her going.

Sounds like my poster boards and my email file.

In the past, many supervisors have interpreted employees’ desire for quality time as an inappropriate desire to be their friend, or an effort to “get in good” with the boss in order to have undue influence and receive favors. Our research indicates that this is seldom the attitude of the employee whose primary appreciation language is Quality Time. This employee simply wants to feel that what they are doing is significant and that their supervisor values their contribution. It is these brief but genuine expressions of interest in what they are doing that makes them feel appreciated.

I can see how I misunderstood this as a manager and tried to be a friend, but also how it has been misinterpreted the other way as well.

By Quality Time, we mean giving the person your focused attention. We are not talking about simply being in physical proximity to another person.

Affirming words focus on what we are saying, whereas quality conversation focuses more on what we are hearing.

Many managers are trained to analyze problems and create solutions. In our problem solving, we often minimize the relationship aspect of the solution. A relationship calls for empathetic listening with a view to understanding what is going on inside the other person.

Okay, I feel this a bit with Suzi.

Recent research has indicated that the average person listens for only seventeen seconds before they interrupt and give their own ideas.

This is also a great customer service point!!!

A second dialect of quality time is shared experiences. For some employees, sharing experiences with their colleagues is an important way for them to feel connected and encouraged.

A third dialect of quality time is small group dialogue. Some people do not feel comfortable talking to their supervisor one-on-one.

This is a here our huddle really come into play, and I can see where they are useful.

fourth dialect of quality time is working in close physical proximity with coworkers in accomplishing a project. We have discovered this dialect to be especially meaningful in volunteer settings.

Maggie’s primary language of appreciation is Acts of Service. When others reach out to help, she feels appreciated. For people like Maggie, demonstrating appreciation through acts of service communicates caring. These individuals have the perspective: “Don’t tell me you care; show me.” For them, actions speak louder than words. Therefore, giving them a gift or verbal praise can often be met with indifference. They are thinking, “What I could really use is a little help.”

Make sure your own responsibilities are covered before volunteering to help others.

I'm not great at this, tbh.

Ask before you help.

Serve voluntarily. For an act of service to be encouraging to a colleague, the action needs to be offered voluntarily. An act of service done under the duress of a supervisor ceases to become an expression of appreciation; it becomes simply an act of duty or obedience.

There may be an opportunity here to open it up to the team to see if someone can help, before assigning it to someone.

Check your attitude. There is an ancient proverb that says, “Work done with a cheerful attitude is like rain falling on the desert.”

Look at the response to helping unrep with overtime, perhaps?

If you are going to help, do it their way.

Complete what you start.

Bring me or my team some food when we are working long hours to complete a project.

I think some companies overdo this (pizza?), because it may be easier in an office of the other ways to serve. But working from home, Deb sending lunch cards or boxes of treats seems above and beyond, and more of an Act of Service.

Giving the right gift to a person who appreciates tangible rewards can send a powerful message of thanks, appreciation, and encouragement. Conversely, giving a gift to someone who doesn’t really appreciate gifts has little impact; the wrong gift can actually create an offense. The challenge of giving the correct gift to the right person is a primary reason why many employers no longer give gifts for Christmas, for work anniversaries, or birthdays. However, to totally eliminate the giving of gifts as an expression of appreciation leaves many employees feeling unappreciated.

For anniversary gifts, letting us pick our own is a good solution, as is picking from an assortment of gift cards.

The focus of this appreciation language is primarily on nonmonetary gifts.

First, you need to give gifts primarily to those individuals who appreciate them.