The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World

by Alan Downs Ph. D.

Change comes by choice and practice, not from insight about our past.

If you’re “out,” you no longer harbor that “dirty little secret” about yourself, but you likely do continue to hide your true self behind the beauty you manufacture.

We are professionals in remodeling ugly truths into high-fashion dreams.

We hid because we learned that hiding is a means to survival.

We learned to split ourselves in parts, hiding what wasn’t acceptable and flaunting what was.