Sometimes we test a relationship by initially claiming a high value for ourselves to see whether the other person will respond appropriately. We do this by announcing a high status (“Hi, I’m Professor Schein from MIT . . .”) or by revealing something more personal and meaningful (“I really am not feeling too great today . . .” or “I’ve just come from my therapist. . . .”) to see whether the other person will understand, respond with sympathy, and acknowledge what we have said. Often this acknowledgment occurs through the other person revealing something more personal as well. And it is through
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