Being thrust into the role of helper is immediately a gain in status and power—literally if I help someone up who has fallen, or symbolically if I am a counselor, consultant, or coach who is being asked to provide my wisdom and expertise to solve a problem. In terms of our face-work analysis, the person who asks for help is defining the situation as one in which power and value has been bestowed on the potential helper, whether or not that person can actually help. It is this bestowing of power that creates an imbalance in the relationship.
The person who asks for help bestows power on the potential helper
