Not Another Vampire Book (Not Another Vampire #1)

by Cassandra Gannon

When you were fated to be a Vampire’s mate… sometimes life just sucked. Eternal Passion at Sunset- Chapter One “This is the worst beginning of any book I’ve ever read.”

Gibberish Kara’s father wanted to print thousands of copies of. It was like making duplicates of that evil tape in The Ring.

Maybe her friends weren’t either. Maybe Tanya St. Clair had forgotten to save the book on her computer and this was the only copy. For the good of all mankind, Kara could destroy it forever.

Slade the Vampire and Damien the Wizard Warlock. No wonder nobody read, anymore.

Melessa was all that was beautiful and pure in womanhood. That very day, the virginal beauty had saved four orphans and a puppy from drowning, yet she still took the time to buy the very latest of summer fashion to wear to the party.

lmaooooo

Kara rolled her eyes in disgust. She already hated Melessa, whatever her hair color. The girl sounded like a real bitch.

How could black eyes glow? What would that even look like?

Kara didn’t even have time to flashback to her life, or pray, or jump up in the air to avoid the impact,

guys dont do that

Beneath some kind of fancy looking tree stood… Jack the Ripper? Holy shit. Just how brain-injured was she?

“I will be asking the questions.” He snarled, snapping back into his Vlad the Impaler tone. “Why are you here?”

“Did you just seriously say thwarted?” Jesus, her unconscious mind liked the SAT vocab words, didn’t it?

“Uh-huh. Look, no offense, but I think you’re just –like– a morphine induced amalgam of Alex Murphy from my junior year and some bad horror films I never should have watched in the first place. I might be in surgery, here. So, I don’t have a lot of time to be sensitive to your feelings.”

and you vowed revenge for something-or-other. I forget the rest of the stupid back story. I only read the first chapter.” “The Vampires killed my baby sister!” Damien roared. Clearly a sore spot for him.

“Stop! I told you, I’ve gone crazy. Have some compassion and stop yelling at me!”

me as fuckkkk

Her brown eyes skimmed the now familiar opening line. Lady Melessa Fairfax was the most beautiful woman at the party. “Right. Beautiful. Got it.” Kara wrinkled the page in her effort to turn it faster, skimming frantically. Slade and all his fans. Damien’s dead sister.

Slade recovered from his hobbling and focused on his mortal enemy. Or maybe his immortal enemy.

Vlad the Impaler,

weird that vlad the impaler is the nonvampire

Van Helsing didn’t like being called that.

lmao

“You killed my fucking sister!” Damien roared in what was absolutely not the novel’s usual faux Olde Time-y dialogue. “You murdered her, you condescending son-of-a-bitch!” Kara’s mouth parted. There was no way Tanya had written that line. None. Damien said it.

“You’re making fun of my clothes? The guy who dresses like The Penguin?” “The who?”

“Where are we?” It looked like a hotel room. Jeffery Dahmer’s hotel room. Gothic furniture and gargoyles and creepy paintings with moving eyes. Dark, velvet drapes shrouded the windows and the canopy bed looked like a crypt. The kind of place you’d pose the body of your victim for a few candid shots before you ate his skin. “This is my lair.” “Oh geez.” His lair, for crying out loud? Tanya seriously

She didn’t expect the crazed laughter that bubbled up in her throat. Kara was just suddenly struck by how… stupid this all was. She wasn’t nuts, but the entire world had gone insane around her. Vampires had their own island? Kara had the sudden image of Count Chocula dressed in a cape and Bermuda shorts, sitting on a beach somewhere.

Plans meant stability. Plans gave you something to hold onto. When your world fell apart, and your mom died and you just wanted to curl up into a ball, having a plan was the only thing that got you through the darkness.

“That’s mine! I recognize it. It’s not like they sell a lot of other knock-off Louis Vuitton around here. You stole my wallet!”

What else did the Vamp Squad steal of mine, huh? Is that my cell phone?” She gestured to his other hand. “Unbelievable. Damien,” she turned to look at him for some form of redress, “make him give me back my stuff.”

“Holy crap, he has theme music.” She whispered in astonishment. “Tanya’s given Slade his own theme music for when he rides to the rescue!”

Damien had an uncomfortable sensation of wrongness as he looked around. Did that always happen when Slade appeared?

“You are distraught.” Over something or other. “You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.” Damien had no idea why, but he wanted her to cheer up. Once again, he said the first thing that came to mind. “After all, you’re but a flower in a storm, Kara Lynn.”

“That bastard is the hero and I’m the villain?!” “Kind of. Yeah. The number of times you say ‘vengeance’ is a dead giveaway.”

“Alex Murphy? Nah.” She shrugged dismissively. “You’re much hotter than he was.” She hesitated. “Do people use the word ‘hot’ like that in 1892? Probably not, but with this book it’s just one more anachronism for the pile.”

“I see you, cari.” Something about his tone had her stomach tightening. “Gods, how I see you.”

“Yeah, let’s talk about your plans, Vlad. Good idea. What are you going to do with me? Use me as bait? Is that all I am to you?” That hurt. Really hurt.

“The Vampires aren’t trying to capture me to be their queen, are they, your highness?” “No, they’re trying to kill you, dumbass.”

“Vlad.” “Why do you call me that?” He nuzzled the side of her neck. “Vlad the Impaler.” It came out as a moan. “He was a big, scary guy who… impaled people.” “I like that.” His tongue touched her ear. “Will you let me impale you, Kara Lynn?”

ohhhhh myyyyy goddddddd

“You don’t understand.” Kara stopped walking and cleared her throat. “Okay, look, I can’t just sleep with every handsome villain who tries to kidnap me.” He arched a brow and leaned closer to her ear. “How about just one?”

What did that mean? “You’ve already given consent for the mating. Do you wish to revoke that?” If she did, he had no idea what he’d do. Weeping might be an option. Or destroying the planet in pure sexual frustration.

So far, he’d drugged Kara, allowed dragons and Vampires to menace her, he’d kidnapped her, and forgotten to feed her, he’d locked her in his home and made her cry. Now, he wanted her to mate with him, when he might very well die and abandon her to a hostile, unfamiliar world.

well when ya put i like that

Karalynn was so good. She deserved her mate to care for her in return, but that emotion had been burned out of Damien long ago. He wouldn’t even know how to find it, again. He could feel nothing but his vengeance and she deserved so much more. So much better. He should let her go.

excuse..

Anything would be better than listening to Damien let her down gently.

:(

“This is unbelievable. One minute we’re almost having sex, then we’re cosmic soul mates, and now you’re dumping me?! Your mood swings give me whiplash.”

:(

“No!” He roared. “I don’t fucking want it. But, if I die and you are my cari, you would be alone. If Slade dies and you are his Eternal-One, you will be safe on the Vampire Isle. It would be better for you to be with him.” Kara blinked at that reasoning. “So, when I asked you to give up your vengeance, that’s what you got out of the conversation?”

:(

“Bullshit. It’s best for you, Damien. You think I’m your super-special other half and you’re still blowing me off. It’s just easier to get rid of me than readjust your precious plans.” He hadn’t been expecting that take on his noble surrender. “What?” He gaped at her like she’d completely lost her mind. “No! That is not...”

“Well, too bad. I will never invoke that whatchamacallit and I will never, ever run off and marry Slade. As far as I’m concerned, whatever’s going on between us can just stay that way. If you want to get rid of me, cowboy-up and dump me straight out. I’m not gonna make it easier for you to go off and commit suicide, by tying up loose ends for you.”

“I can’t believe you kissed that jackass.” “You know what you can kiss, Vlad?” She grinned at him, sweetly.

“Don’t you dare.” She warned, not trusting him to resist the word ‘vengeance.’ It was like crack to him. “Not if you ever plan on seeing me naked, anyway.” That earned her a quick glance.

Damien slid into her so fully that Kara couldn’t tell where he left off and she began.

i fee like this line is used in every first spice scene but i digress

“I could explain some things first.” Even as he said it, Damien caught her arms, trapping her completely against him. “I should have already, but I am not an honorable man.”

chefs kiss

“How old are you?” “Thirty-two.” Damien just stared at her. Kara cleared her throat. “But, I’ll be thirty-three in May.”

“Perhaps you should think about it, Damien. You’re the one planning on making your ‘wife’ a widow.” She headed back to the bed. “And we might have mated or whatever, but that’s not a real marriage.” “The hell it’s not.” His tone went icy cold. “You consented and it’s done.” “I don’t have a ring and my honeymoon apparently consists of you killing yourself. That’s not a damn marriage!”

Damien reached out to touch her. For the first time in the entire course of their relationship, she backed away from him. Something like agony passed over his face and he dropped his hand. “You don’t get it.”