Radically Condensed Instructions for Being Just as You Are

by J. Jennifer Matthews

When we create the desire for inner improvement and psychological states of peace, we sometimes notice, (if we are lucky), that we are causing our own dissatisfaction. We usually then create a psychology to eliminate it. We try to have more compassion and acceptance for ourselves and others. Well, what could possibly be wrong with this? Nothing, except that when problems persist, our standard solutions to these problems are often part of the problems themselves. Acceptance, compassion, and the various antidotes to our self-bothering and dissatisfaction definitely diminish it. But this is a lengthy process requiring enormous dedication. Like the problem of simple substances in physics – each particle of dissatisfaction turns out to be another compound. Dissatisfaction can be broken down into ever smaller particles. And infinitesimal dissatisfaction turns out to be as vexing a problem as infinite dissatisfaction was. We find that we end up scrubbing our hands all day like Lady Macbeth, trying to shed smaller and smaller particles of anger, jealousy and regret. The fact is, we don’t experience the mystery of life by ‘working through’ our perturbation. We just experience it. We simply decide to experience life, without judgment or expectation. A moment’s lapse is a moment’s lapse. The reason our occasional, alienating thoughts and feelings bother us is because we think we should be bothered by them.