When People Are Big and God Is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man

by Edward T. Welch

The problem is that unless there is a radical change in the way we see God, ourselves, and others, community will become just another strategy for us to feel better about ourselves. It will relieve the loneliness, and we will feel more “connected,” but if we pursue community for self-fulfillment rather than God’s glory, the community movement will simply be a passing fad. Let’s stir each other up to establish our church community in God’s love.

Luther’s role models had to be the men of the book of Daniel: Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Other than Jesus himself, there are no greater models of the fear of the Lord.

The pastor responded with an observation that has been made throughout history. “Nancy, have you ever noticed that we tend to be controlled by the things we need? Can you see this working in your relationship with your husband? As long as you need your husband to fill you emotionally, you will feel controlled by him.”

With this at the core, she knew that the answer was not to turn to Christ to meet her felt need. That would have made Jesus her personal talisman or idol. Instead, her answer was to put to death her selfish desires and to learn to fear God alone. As a result, her question began to change. It was no longer “Where can I find my worth?” but “Why am I so concerned about myself?” It was not “How can God fill my needs?” but “How can I see Christ as so glorious that I forget about my perceived needs?”

As John Calvin suggested, I wasn’t a love cup; I was an idol factory.