Getting to Yes: Negotiating an agreement without giving in

by Roger Fisher

First, negotiators may not be talking to each other, or at least not in such a way as to be understood.

Effective communication between the parties is all but impossible if each plays to the gallery.

Even if you are talking directly and

clearly to them, they may not be ...

What one says, the other may misinterpret.

Listen actively and acknowledge what is being said.

“Did I understand correctly that you are saying that …?”

the cheapest concession you can make to the other side is to let them know they have been heard.

ask the other party to spell out carefully and clearly exactly what they mean, and

to request that ideas be repeated if there is any ambiguity or uncertainty.

“Let me see whether I follow what you are telling me. From your point of view, the situation looks like this. …”

phrase it positively from their point of view, making the strength of their case clear.

Understanding is not agreeing.

two judges trying to reach agreement on how to decide a case.

limiting the size of the group meeting.

important decisions are typically made when no more than two people are in the room.

describe a problem in terms of its impact on you than in terms of what they did or why:

statement about how you feel is difficult to challenge.

Before making a significant statement, know what you want to communicate or find out, and know what purpose this information will serve.

The basic approach is to deal with the people as human beings and with the problem on its merits.