Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most

by Douglas Stone

Ten Questions People Ask About Difficult Conversations 1. It sounds like you’re saying everything is relative. Aren’t some things just true, and can’t someone simply be wrong? 2. What if the other person really does have bad intentions – lying, bullying, or intentionally derailing the conversation to get what they want? 3. What if the other person is genuinely difficult, perhaps even mentally ill? 4. How does this work with someone who has all the power – like my boss? 5. If I’m the boss/parent, why can’t I just tell my subordinates/ children what to do? 6. Isn’t this a very American approach? How does it work in other cultures? 7. What about conversations that aren’t face-to-face? What should I do differently if I’m on the phone or e-mail? 8. Why do you advise people to “bring feelings into the workplace”? I’m not a therapist, and shouldn’t business decisions be made on the merits? 9. Who has time for all this in the real world? 10. My identity conversation keeps getting stuck in either-or: I’m perfect or I’m horrible. I can’t seem to get past that. What can I do?