Just One Damned Thing After Another (The Chronicles of St. Mary's, #1)

by Jodi Taylor

‘History is just one damned thing after another.’

But as Lisa Simpson once said, ‘It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.’ So I remained silent.

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‘Show me a cup of tea and I’ll show you at least two historians attached to it.’

‘Can you get some wood?’ ‘What sort of wood?’ ‘What do you mean, what sort of wood? Why do historians always have to overthink everything? Wood wood.’ ‘I mean dry wood? Wet wood? Firewood? Building wood?’ ‘Building wood?’ ‘Well, it’s you. Are you going to knock together a hotel? Build a suspension bridge? Install a spa? Will there be grouting?’

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‘Would you like me to drive for a bit?’ ‘No. I choose life.’

I woke up in Sick Bay. Actually that happens so often I’m going to put it on a hotkey.

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I said, ‘Are you guys going to be OK on your own, or would you like me to come with you to hold your lunch money?’

The screaming redoubled. You put dinosaurs and people together, you always get screaming.

‘Head towards the light.’ Not a phrase I ever thought I would get to say.

Sod’s Law decrees if a thing can go wrong it will.