More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Steve Peters
Read between
June 14 - November 5, 2018
Chimp always interprets first
Chimp only hands over to the Human if there is no danger or perceived threat.
Human can intervene to stop the Chimp reacting by using...
This highlight has been truncated due to consecutive passage length restrictions.
Computer can be programmed to set...
This highlight has been truncated due to consecutive passage length restrictions.
Personality is a mixture of Human, Chimp...
This highlight has been truncated due to consecutive passage length restrictions.
Write down the characteristics of the person that you would ideally like to be. Now write down how you believe you are in reality.
THE PLANET OF Others covers the relationships and interactions that we have with other people in various settings.
It is useful to recognise the psychopath, as they are typically destructive towards us when we meet them. Learning to deal with them means that we can walk away from an encounter without being hurt or damaged.
Don’t expect the psychopath to change – the brain is hard-wired.
Nobody owes you anything.
Happiness is a choice that you make.
every person is living within his or her own world and at times it may not be a pleasant one.
ALWAYS try to establish THE FACTS
Before you try to understand others, first ask yourself why you want to do this and what you want to achieve.
You are going to be ‘tolerant and compromise to some extent’.
If you want to build bridges with someone then it is you that has to build the bridge.
once you expect something back then there may be problems.
Successful people don’t make demands of others but set the scene so that the Human in others can respond, rather than their Chimp.
What you can’t do is to impose your expectations and conditions on to someone and then say that they have a problem.
it is your decision to remain with them and to accept them as they are or to leave them and it is their right to act in the way that they want to.
Measure ‘reasonable’ by objective measures such as ‘is this person bullying me?’
• People and Chimps vary from day to day.
listen to the balanced majority who will be supportive and have constructive comments, even though at times they may be critical.
The best relationships are the ones where you accept the person as they are and work with this.
Suggested exercise: Assessing your impact on others
Ask yourself what effect you are having on others after you have interacted with them.
THE TROOP MOON represents the people that support you.
The troop is something that virtually all Chimps need. The troop is something that nearly every Human would like.
The drive within your inner Chimp to find a troop is equally as strong
To stay within this troop you must be seen as strong (and impress others at all times), you must be sure to be popular (keep everyone happy) and above all you must ensure that others think highly of you (you must care what they think).
The Human would like to be popular and gain approval by others, but recognises that you shouldn’t be worried about what others think
the Chimp has been misled by the Human and got the interpretation that it must accept everyone into its troop.
There are only a few Chimps in your troop (a few people who are truly with you).
Therefore, what the rest of the world (alien Chimp troops) thinks about us is unimportant.
allowing your Human to make a rule to be personable and approachable to everybody.
accept the Chimp’s rule that not everyone is in your troop, do not become personal with everybody
if you are stuck with thoughts such as trying to keep everyone happy, always trying to impress others, always needing to get approval or worrying about what others think, then it is likely that your troop drive is out of control. Sit down and redefine your troop
Your Chimp is looking for strong individuals who can make the troop secure and safe.
Your inner Chimp is also likely to look for those Chimps with influence and wealth
The Human within us would like to be surrounded by people of like mind,
The problem arises when the Chimp chooses someone for the troop and the Human disagrees.
Another flaw that often occurs when the Chimp chooses the troop is when a person uses flattery on us.
Troops are not fixed.
The troop needs maintenance.
When roles get confused there is usually conflict.
understand the role others take, and the role that you take for them,
The Human may want someone for support, a mentor and facilitator, whereas the Chimp needs a strong and dominant leader to protect it and lead the troop into battle. Clarify the role of your leader!
Establishing your troop is critical to reassure your Chimp.
Opinions from outside your troop are not important.
troop needs time spent on it
