The Chimp Paradox: The Acclaimed Mind Management Programme to Help You Achieve Success, Confidence and Happiness

by Steve Peters

Understand the rules of how the brain works and ACCEPT these.

Nurture and manage y...

The golden rule is that whenever you have feelings, thoughts or behaviours that you do not want or welcome, then you are being hijacked by your Chimp.

‘Do I want these feelings?’ or ‘Do I want these thoughts?’

If the answer is ‘no’ then you are in Chimp mode

Therefore you ask, ‘Do I want to have this angry emotion?’ If the answer is ‘no’ then it is your Chimp who is feeling this way.

‘But what if…?’ is the Chimp’s favourite way to open a question.

Chimps like to go on how they feel to decide on future actions,

Humans tend to go on what needs to be done and also how they will feel at the end of the day

all input goes to the Chimp first.

The Human and the Chimp both think in the here and now and both interpret situations as they happen.

the Chimp is more powerful and acts more quickly than the Human.

willpower is not a very good way to do most things. It only works when the Chimp is asleep, indifferent or agrees.

Willpower is not a good way to try and manage your Chimp

your emotional Chimp is five times stronger than you are.

Don’t try to control it, manage it.

Either you or your Chimp will make the decisions in your life. If you both agree then there will be peace. When you don’t agree with the Chimp, then it typically attacks you and the attack can be emotionally very painful.

the Chimp interprets what is happening and then offers the Human an emotion and a suggestion of how to deal with the situation. The Human then makes the decision on whether to accept the Chimp’s offer or reject it.

if the Human decides to reject the Chimp’s offer then we have a problem because the Chimp is very likely to kick off and refuse to behave.

Part of the problem is that most people don’t realise that the Chimp is merely making an offer and not a command. You do not have to follow your emotions; you have a choice.

Chimps have a different agenda with a powerful sex drive and this frequently takes them in search of encounters.

You have a responsibility to manage your Chimp.

You can’t change the nature of your Chimp BUT you are responsible for managing it.

your Chimp’s fundamental drives do not change.

Your Chimp will always act on drives and according to its nature,

you need to manage its emotions and impulses by recognising what it needs and how it works.

nurturing the Chimp and managing the Chimp, and they have to be addressed in that order.

If you have a Chimp that is well looked after by being nurtured and having all its needs met, then it is very likely that this happy little animal will not cause you any trouble.

If you meet the needs of the Chimp first then the Chimp is in a position where you can talk to it and it will listen.

if your Chimp is insecure, you need to make it feel secure

for most Chimps these are a combination of power, territory, ego, dominance, sex, food, troop, security, inquisitiveness and parental drives.

recognise that the drive is present and then find a solution that will make the Chimp feel fulfilled and happy in a way that is acceptable in the world in which you live.

Whatever you choose should satisfy your Chimp and should be carried out. It is the Human who carries the actions out and not the Chimp!

recognise your own Chimp drives and to make sure that they are fulfilled in the way that you want them to be and to ensure that the sublimation is appropriate without you crossing boundaries.

Chimps are like children in that they look for external praise,

Chimps like to have praise and recognition from the alpha Chimp (i.e., people they see as important).

In order to look after your Chimp you really should seek out praise from those whose opinion you respect or think is important.

If your Chimp is agitated or upset about something, the first thing it has to do is to release this emotion or opinion. This is called ‘Exercising the Chimp’. You must allow it to do this if it is to listen.

saying exactly what you think, no matter how irrational it may be and doing this for as long as it takes.

let it express its feelings and then when it has finished let the Human select the sensible things that have been said and ignore the nonsense.

If someone interrupts the Chimp while it is exercising, it is not likely to listen but will just get more agitated.

get things off your chest, and then be able to think them through and act on the legitimate points.

Using facts, truth and logic we can continue to calm the Chimp down and reason with it.

need some facts and truths that will satisfy the Chimp

confront his Chimp with the uncomfortable truths of life.

Sometimes you can’t win. The importance here is to recognise this fact and to accept it. Then you can remind the Chimp about this. Remember that the Chimp is making an OFFER. You the Human have the CHOICE.

Boxing the Chimp is therefore telling it truths that it will accept in order to calm it down.

box the Chimp by talking to it using truth and logic.

(Sometimes it is right to agree with the Chimp if it is telling you the truth.

Everyone needs to find the truths that are meaningful and powerful to their Chimp.