The Chimp Paradox: The Acclaimed Mind Management Programme to Help You Achieve Success, Confidence and Happiness

by Steve Peters

The Chimp has a well-recognised pattern of dealing with failure and loss and this pattern is seen in almost all people. It is commonly called a grief reaction. Usually we relate the term ‘grief reaction’ to dealing with the death of someone close.

Measure success in relative terms and where possible celebrate partial successes. • Deal with failures or setbacks constructively and see them as learning points to develop yourself. • Try to develop the ability to get a perspective on all life events. • If your Chimp grieves, allow it to express itself. It is perfectly reasonable to grieve.

No matter how appealing and tasty-looking a meal is, if you add just one drop of poison then it is inedible and lethal. Relationships, environments and jobs can be like this. Beware the drop of poison that is just one irresolvable or unacceptable difference. Don’t be surprised if you eat the meal and take ill! Therefore, equally don’t be surprised if you suffer emotionally if there is a single drop of poison in your life.

If you have forgiven a remorseful partner then that means putting the incident behind you. Forgiving doesn’t mean storing up the misdemeanour to use it over and over in the future when it suits you. If you are doing this then forgiveness is not the right word. The right word to describe what you are doing is tormenting.

Putting in Autopilots, new behaviours and beliefs that will promote happiness, is an exercise that needs reinforcing regularly. Take time to think about habits and thoughts that you have that are destructive in order to find your Gremlins. Let’s look at some common themes that many of us can relate to.