The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism

by Olivia Fox Cabane

Charismatic people impact the world, whether they’re starting new projects, new companies, or new empires.

charisma is a skill that you can learn and practice.

they have more romantic options, they make more money, and they experience less stress.

Charisma gets people to like you, trust you, and want to be led by you.

charisma matters.

It’s Not Magic, It’s Learned Behaviors

As extensive research in recent years has shown, charisma is the result of specific nonverbal behaviors,

its presence depends on whether or not someone is exhibiting these behaviors.

charismatic behaviors are generally learned early in life.

Eventually, the behaviors become instinctive.

Power and intentions

When you meet a charismatic person, you get the impression that they have a lot of power and they like you a lot.

The equation that produces charisma is actually fairly simple. All you have to do is give the impression that you possess both high power and high warmth, since charismatic behaviors project a combination of these two qualities. “Fight or flight?” is the power question. “Friend or foe?” is the warmth question.

What this book does is translate the science into practical, immediately applicable tools, with measurable results.

It was the man who made others feel intelligent, impressive, and fascinating: Benjamin Disraeli.

The goal is to make the person feel more clever, and fascinating

charismatic individuals choose specific behaviors that make other people feel a certain way.

The most common charisma myth is that you have to be naturally boisterous or outgoing to be charismatic.

charismatic introvert.

charisma itself will make you more attractive.

how to adopt a charismatic posture, how to warm up your eye contact, and how to modulate your voice in ways that make people pay

New behaviors

attention.

Lower the intonation of your voice at the end of your sentences.

Lower your voice at the end of every sentence Reduce the amount of nods 2 full seconds before you answer

Reduce how quickly and how often you nod.

Pause for two full seconds befor...

Charisma is a skill that can also be developed through conscious practice, and because we’re interacting with people all the time, we get to use our charisma tools on a daily basis.

Presence, Power, and Warmth CHARISMATIC BEHAVIOR CAN be broken down into

presence, power, and warmth.

When we’re not fully present in an interaction, people will see it.

Being present means simply having a moment-to-moment awareness of what’s happening. It means paying attention to what’s going on rather than being caught up in your own thoughts.

We’re always partially distracted.

The very next time you’re in a conversation, try to regularly check whether your mind is fully engaged or whether it is wandering elsewhere (including preparing your next sentence). Aim to bring yourself back to the present moment as often as you can by focusing on your breath or your toes for just a second, and then get back to focusing on the other person.

Being charismatic does not depend on how much time you have but on how fully present you are in each interaction.

The people you’re with feel that they have your full attention and that they are the most important thing in the world to you at that moment.

Being seen as powerful means being perceived as able to affect the world around us,

intelligence,

Warmth, simply put, is goodwill toward others.

Charisma Begins in the Mind

subconscious

This has two consequences.

Technical skills are raw brainpower, what we use to understand the instructions for assembling furniture. What these executives

internal skills.

What Your Mind Believes, Your Body Manifests

your brain cannot distinguish imagination from reality,

Charisma has three essential components: presence, power, and warmth. Being present—paying attention to what’s going on rather than being caught up in your thoughts—can yield immense rewards. When you exhibit presence, those around you feel listened to, respected, and valued. Because your body language telegraphs your internal state to those around you, in order to be charismatic—to exhibit presence, power, and warmth—you must display charismatic body language. Because your mind can’t tell the difference between imagination and reality, by creating a charismatic internal state your body language will authentically display charisma. In terms of achieving charisma, your internal state is critical. Get the internal state right, and the right charismatic behaviors and body language will pour forth automatically. * In fact, Stanford researchers conducted experiments showing that when people try to hide their real feelings, they provoke a threat-response arousal in others. 4

The Obstacles to Presence, Power, and Warmth

identify the obstacles that are holding back your charismatic self.

Physical discomfort doesn’t just affect your external state; it also affects your internal state.

low blood glucose levels lead to impaired attention as well as to difficulties regulating emotions and behavior.

Prevent Recognize Remedy or explain

Anxiety can also lower our confidence. Anxiety, low presence, and low confidence can show up directly in our body language, as well as reduce our ability to emanate warmth.