Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead

by Sheryl Sandberg

“Sheryl Sandberg cried on Mark Zuckerberg’s shoulder,” which is not exactly what happened. What happened was that I expressed my feelings and Mark responded with compassion.

An all-business approach is not always good business.

Since the real reason was personal, sharing it honestly was the best thing to do.

But when it comes to integrating career and family, planning too far in advance can close doors rather than open them. I have seen this happen over and over.

The more satisfied a person is with her position, the less likely she is to leave.3 So the irony—and, to me, the tragedy—is that women wind up leaving the workforce precisely because of things they did to stay in the workforce.

to make sure they aren’t limiting their options unnecessarily.

the single most important career decision that a woman makes is whether she will have a life partner and who that partner is.

inextricably

Impossibke to disentangle

rickety

Poorly made and likely to.collapse

If they also have to worry that they will upset their husbands by succeeding, how can we hope to live in an equal world?

When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner.

Kristina Salen, the CFO of Etsy, told me that when

Research supports Jen’s observation that equality between partners leads to happier relationships.

divorce reduces by about half when a wife earns half the income and a husband does half the housework.

the worst question is ‘How do you juggle it all?’

had. I also know that all the planning in the world cannot prepare us for the constant challenges of parenting.

“Done is better than perfect.” I have tried to embrace this motto and let go of unattainable standards. Aiming for perfection causes frustration at best and paralysis at worst. I agree completely with the advice offered

had unused vacation time. Up until the day they left, they did everything McKinsey asked of them before deciding that it was too much.

The best way to make room for both life and career is to make choices deliberately—to set limits and stick to them.

I even made this decision public—a trick that can help a commitment stick by creating greater accountability.

She was torturing herself unnecessarily.

Sleep deprivation makes people anxious, irritable, and confused.

Study after study suggests that the pressure society places on women to stay home and do “what’s best for the child” is based on emotion, not evidence.

curt

rudely brief

The subject itself presents a paradox, forcing us to acknowledge differences while trying to achieve the goal of being treated the same.

“bias blind spot.” This blind spot causes people to be too confident about their own powers of objectivity so that they fail to correct for bias.8 When evaluating identically described male and

“merit” can be manipulated to justify discrimination.

believe that women have superior strengths in certain areas like moral reasoning, which makes them better equipped to raise children—and perhaps less equipped to succeed in business.11

bring up the Heidi/Howard study and how success and likeability are negatively correlated for women.

The goal is to give women something men tend to receive automatically—the benefit of the doubt.

We have a long way to go before flextime is accepted in most workplaces. It will only happen if we keep raising the issue.

“Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.”

reticence

Reserve