The Raven King (All for the Game, #2)

by Nora Sakavic

Death was unpleasant, but it was a familiar and tolerable ache in his chest.

At the Foxhole Court "family" was a fantasy invented to make books and Hollywood movies more interesting.

Wymack didn't care if he had nine Foxes or twenty-five. He'd stand behind them until the bitter, bloody end.

"Last I checked Andrew didn't like you," Wymack said. "He still doesn't," Neil said, but he didn't bother to explain.

"Look. Shit happened. Shit's going to keep happening. You don't need me to tell you life isn't fair. You're here because you know it isn't. Life doesn't care what we want out of it; it's up to us to fight for what we want with everything we've got. Seth wanted us to win. He wanted us to make it past the fourth match. I think we owe it to him to perform. Let's show the world what we've got. Let's make this our year."

"One day I want you to look up 'insensitivity' in the dictionary," Matt said, annoyed. "I'm sure it'll do your ego wonders to see your picture printed there beside it."

"Andrew Joseph Minyard, what the flying fuck have you done this time?"

"Don't thank us, remember us," Dan said. "We're your teammates. We're here to help you with whatever you need, whether it's this or games or general stress. We've all got different experiences, but we're used to needing help. We're just not used to getting it. But you've got us now."

Neil wanted to tell them death was no reason to hold back, but he found their humanity interesting.

They were different kinds of heartless and Neil, for all his problems connecting with other people, didn't want to be a monster.

"How are you doing?" Neil drained both cups before answering. "I'm fine." Nicky fist-pumped in triumph. "Thank you for being so predictable, Neil. You just scored me ten bucks with two words."

"Why did you pay for stalls, Coach?" Wymack lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "Maybe I knew you'd need them one day."

"Neil is a walking tragedy." "You're a pretty pathetic sob story yourself," Wymack said.

As he listened to them, Neil realized he was happy. It was such an unexpected and unfamiliar feeling he lost track of the conversation for a minute.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this included or safe. It was nice but dangerous. Someone with a past like his, whose very survival depended on secrecy and lies, couldn't afford to let his guard down. But as Nicky laughed and leaned closer to talk about one of Neil's goals, Neil thought maybe he'd be okay just for a night.

Andrew threw his hands up. "Newsflash, Nicky: Neil isn't normal!" "This is beyond abnormal." "I am standing right here," Neil said, "and I can hear you."

"Touch it again and I'll bite you. Don't think I won't. I will. I'm a biter. Just ask Erik."

Neil grabbed them, but Andrew held on for a moment. Andrew leaned forward on his perch and smiled at Neil. "Hey, Neil. Honesty looks awful on you."

"Nicky, Coach, the suicide hotline, I don't care." "I'm remembering why I don't like you." "I'm surprised you forgot in the first place." "Maybe I didn't." Neil pushed the phone Andrew's way. "There has to be a better way."

"You could occasionally grow a spine," Andrew suggested. "I know it's a difficult concept for someone whose kneejerk reaction is to run away at the first sign of trouble, but try it sometime. You might actually like it."

"I'm not here for your entertainment," Neil said. "But, as expected, you are talented enough to multitask.

"Your parents are dead, you are not fine, and nothing is going to be okay," Andrew said. "This is not news to you. But from now until May you are still Neil Josten and I am still the man who said he would keep you alive.

Andrew put a finger to the underside of Neil's chin and forced Neil's head up until they were looking at each other. "On that day you're not going to run. You're going to think about what I promised you and you're going to make the call. Tell me you understand."

Neil didn't know what to make of it. The Foxes spent seven hours together at practices every day and roomed with each other at Fox Tower. How they had anything left to say to each other was beyond him.

"Oh, points for trying, but save your breath. Here's a tip for you, okay? You can't cut down someone who's already in the gutter. You just waste your time and mine."

"You know, I get it," Neil said. "Being raised as a superstar must be really, really difficult for you. Always a commodity, never a human being, not a single person in your family thinking you're worth a damn off the court—yeah, sounds rough. Kevin and I talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time."

Jean turned on Kevin and spoke in quick, furious French. "What the hell is this?" "His antagonism is a personality flaw we're learning to live with," Kevin said.

Running wasn't easy, but it was easier than trusting Andrew. But Neil remembered the weight of a key in his palm, its metal soaked through with another person's body heat. He remembered Andrew's promise to see this year through with him.

"We're sure it is," the Raven striker said, "seeing how you're dating a prostitute." "Stripper," Dan corrected as she showed up and wound an arm around Matt's waist. Her stilettos hung off her fingers by their thin straps and she jiggled them as she spoke. "Hopefully you're smart enough to distinguish between the two professions. If you're not, I have serious concerns about your academic standings."

"How can you stand having a team like ours, Coach? Isn't it exhausting dealing with us and our problems day after day?" Wymack emptied his coffee with one big gulp. "Nope."

"Will you still teach me?" Neil asked. Kevin was quiet again, but not for long this time. "Every night."

They knew he hated vegetables but loved fruit, that his favorite color was gray, and that he didn't like movies or loud music. They were things Neil understood only in terms of survival, but his teammates hoarded these insights like gold.

They were piecing Neil together and building a real person around all of his lies. They found the parts of him no disguise could change.

Neil thought about Renee's bruised knuckles, Dan's fierce spirit, and Allison holding her ground on the court a week after Seth's death. He thought about his mother standing unflinching in the face of his father's violent anger and her ruthlessly leaving bodies in their wake. He felt compelled to say, "Some of the strongest people I've known are women."

"He taught me to believe in myself. He showed me how to balance my faith and my sexuality, and he made me okay again. I know it sounds dramatic, but he saved my life."

But that didn't count, because Andrew was Andrew, and this was definitely the last turn he needed his thoughts to take. He dragged his attention back to the task at hand and vowed never to listen to Nicky again.

They were exhausted, sore, and more than a little disappointed by their loss, but the Foxes left the stadium feeling like champions.

"Nicky! Look! A cow. I think you should be this." "Cow tits," Nicky said, pointing at the rubber udder in disgust. "At least let me be a bull, as in hung like a. Or Matt. Same difference, right? Dan is so lucky." "I'm going to pretend I don't know you," Aaron said.

When Neil started to argue, Andrew hooked a finger under his chin and forced his mouth closed again with an easy jerk of his hand.

"Don't make me hurt you," Andrew said. "I don't want blood in my ice cream."

He had to trust that they were all there, safe and having fun. He was content to watch and imagine. Lonely, too, but there was nothing he could do about that.

I am a bad person trying very hard to be a good person,

It's not about my looks or faith. It's that I'm a woman.

Neil's grief was a knife spinning circles in his stomach, tearing him to shreds from the inside out until he could barely breathe.

"Oh, Neil!" Andrew wiggled his cigarette at Neil in greeting. "Hello." "Can we talk?" Neil asked. "Today's not a good day," Andrew said. "Try again tomorrow." "I wouldn't crash your birthday party if it wasn't important." Andrew grinned. "Sarcasm from Neil? Your repertoire of talents is ever-expanding." "Two minutes," Neil said. "So persistent."

"Tick tock," Andrew said. "You have my attention; now keep my interest."

"I'm not afraid of you." "That's why you're so interesting," Andrew said. "How aggravating." He sounded amused, not annoyed, so Neil said, "I'll try to be more boring in the future." "How considerate."

"Oh, you just might be the best thing to happen to the Foxes." "I doubt that." "I don't." Nicky beamed as he let go of Neil.

"Why are you so special?" Matt asked. "I'm not," Neil said, confused. "Andrew doesn't give ground to anybody. Why does he keep saying yes to you?" "He's high," Neil said, twirling a finger near his temple. "He thinks it's funny."

People talked about his trial and how it saved them from Andrew. No one said what they were doing to save Andrew from himself.