The Raven King (All for the Game, #2)

by Nora Sakavic

Neil never wanted to be his father, but he didn't want to turn into his mother, either. They were different kinds of heartless and Neil, for all his problems connecting with other people, didn't want to be a monster.

Wymack looked at Andrew. Andrew looked over his shoulder as if checking for a third goalkeeper. There wasn't one, so he quirked an eyebrow at Wymack and dragged his thumb across his smiling mouth.

"We found out the ERC was going to cut us from the Class I ranks if we didn't stop losing. Coach asked Andrew for a miracle, and Andrew gave us one. He made Coach come up with a number between one and five, and that's how many points he let the other team get before he shut them out. It was probably the most badass thing I've ever seen."

For someone so small, Andrew made a lot of noise when shoved into the lockers.

It was apparently better to be uncomfortable but safe than to trust a stranger with his fractured team.

As he listened to them, Neil realized he was happy. It was such an unexpected and unfamiliar feeling he lost track of the conversation for a minute.

"We aren't really having this conversation," Neil said.

"Can we go back to the part where I said not to argue? I remember it pretty clearly considering it happened just five seconds ago."

Neil grabbed them, but Andrew held on for a moment. Andrew leaned forward on his perch and smiled at Neil. "Hey, Neil. Honesty looks awful on you."

"Your parents are dead, you are not fine, and nothing is going to be okay," Andrew said. "This is not news to you. But from now until May you are still Neil Josten and I am still the man who said he would keep you alive. "I don't care if you use this phone tomorrow. I don't care if you never use it again. But you are going to keep it on you because one day you might need it." Andrew put a finger to the underside of Neil's chin and forced Neil's head up until they were looking at each other. "On that day you're not going to run. You're going to think about what I promised you and you're going to make the call. Tell me you understand."

Neil's phone went off the next morning and startled five years off his life expectancy.

Neil considered asking her how she was doing in her English classes but took the higher road of silence.

Neil didn't know what to make of it. The Foxes spent seven hours together at practices every day and roomed with each other at Fox Tower. How they had anything left to say to each other was beyond him.

"Anyway, you're welcome. I just saved you at least two hundred dollars in intensive therapy."

Andrew lost interest before long and leaned forward. "Jean," he said. "Hey, Jean. Jean Valjean. Hey. Hey. Hello."

"You should reconsider our offer before we rescind it for good, Kevin. Face the facts. Your pet is and always will be dead weight. It's time to—" "What?" Andrew turned a wide-eyed look on Kevin. "You have a pet and you never told us? Where do you keep it, Kevin?" Jean flicked him an annoyed look. "Don't interrupt me, Doe."

"You know, I get it," Neil said. "Being raised as a superstar must be really, really difficult for you. Always a commodity, never a human being, not a single person in your family thinking you're worth a damn off the court—yeah, sounds rough. Kevin and I talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time." "Neil," Kevin said, low and frantic. Neil ignored him. "I know it's not entirely your fault that you are mentally unbalanced and infected with these delusions of grandeur, and I know you're physically incapable of holding a decent conversation with anyone like every other normal human being can, but I don't think any of us should have to put up with this much of your bullshit. Pity only gets you so many concessions, and you used yours up about six insults ago. So please, please, just shut the fuck up and leave us alone."

Riko's expression could have frozen hell, but Neil was too upset to be afraid. He'd have a nervous breakdown later. Right now he leaned forward and looked down the table at Dan, who sat with her face buried in her hands. "Dan, I said please. I tried to be nice."

"His antagonism is a personality flaw we're learning to live with,"

Further down, a stereo system started blasting what passed as popular music these days,

"Oh, Coach." Andrew tossed his hands up in a helpless shrug. "You can't even imagine how much fun we are having right now. It's overwhelming. Give us a minute to catch our breaths before our hearts explode in our chest."

"Denial is more infuriating than ignorance,"

Neil was already in his coffin. He might as well nail it shut. "Yeah, I understand you're a complete asshole."

He spoke slowly, giving himself time to think and to bleach the grief from his voice. "Andrew did care. That's what went wrong."

You can love Exy all you want, but it's never gonna love you back."

"You can't be just this, Neil. This isn't enough to live for.

Neil thought about Renee's bruised knuckles, Dan's fierce spirit, and Allison holding her ground on the court a week after Seth's death. He thought about his mother standing unflinching in the face of his father's violent anger and her ruthlessly leaving bodies in their wake. He felt compelled to say, "Some of the strongest people I've known are women."

We understand that religion is just an interpretation of faith.

I know now I should have tried harder, but I would've been no good to him how I was.

The Ravens took their image seriously. Neil guessed they had a lot of intensive counseling in their futures.

"Maybe you should get your face smashed in a couple more times if it means you can score on it," Matt said. "Not a fan of that strategy," Neil said.

Nicky sent him a curious look, so Neil pulled the next one off the rack. It was a milk carton with a cutout for the wearer's face and a bold "Have you seen me?" printed beneath it. "Oh, that's perfect, Neil," Andrew said. Neil sent him a dirty look. Andrew laughed and held up a mottled costume.

"Don't have to anything," Andrew said.

"How the hell did you talk Andrew into this?" Dan asked, staring at Neil. "I asked," Neil said.

"It's your fight."

The booth was technically intended for eight people, not nine in costumes, but it helped that Aaron and Andrew were pint-sized.

"Don't make me hurt you," Andrew said. "I don't want blood in my ice cream."

"Just Bee!" Andrew said. "Bee being stupid. Bee being, ha. Look."

He had to trust that they were all there, safe and having fun. He was content to watch and imagine. Lonely, too, but there was nothing he could do about that.

Are you afraid of your own happiness or do you honestly like being miserable all the time?"

"I'm remembering why I don't like you." "I'm surprised you forgot." "I didn't," Andrew said. "I just got distracted for a moment there.

Andrew flashed Neil a grin over his shoulder, and Neil only shook his head in response.

He couldn't ask if Andrew was okay. He wasn't that cruel.

"Oh, Neil is back. We thought perhaps you got lost." "I'm never lost," Neil said. "And never found,"

"Are you not his, or he not yours?"

Speaking of unpredictable assholes, when did that happen?" "When did what?" Neil asked. Wymack eyed him. "Forget it."

Neil fixed Kevin with a stony look. "Maybe if you'd stuck around a moment longer you'd understand why I don't care anymore. When you came upstairs, did you hear him laughing, Kevin? He was," he said, ignoring the way Nicky flinched and the quick look Dan shot Matt, "before Drake even hit the ground. So yes, even I would give up this season. And after everything he's done and every risk he's taken for you, you'd better feel the same." "It's not that simple," Kevin started. "Then simplify it," Neil cut in.

She was so enthusiastic about apparently everything in the world it was a little exhausting listening to her, but Aaron looked so alive in her presence Neil couldn't hold it against her.

"You are going to be the absolute death of me," Nicky said. "Yeah, kid. We're friends. You're stuck with us, like it or not."

"It's not really about the food. It's about family. Not necessarily the one we were born with, but the one we chose.