The Raven King (All for the Game, #2)

by Nora Sakavic

Death was unpleasant, but it was a familiar and tolerable ache in his chest.

"Andrew Joseph Minyard, what the flying fuck have you done this time?"

"We're your teammates. We're here to help you with whatever you need, whether it's this or games or general stress. We've all got different experiences, but we're used to needing help. We're just not used to getting it. But you've got us now."

The rest of his life was a frightening mess; Neil needed the power and control of a fierce game.

If you ever say 'I'm fine' about your health again I will make you rue the day you were born. Are we clear?"

Hasta yo sentí el regaño

"Why do you always get that deer-in-headlights look when someone does something nice for you?"

As he listened to them, Neil realized he was happy. It was such an unexpected and unfamiliar feeling he lost track of the conversation for a minute.

"Your parents are dead, you are not fine, and nothing is going to be okay," Andrew said. "This is not news to you. But from now until May you are still Neil Josten and I am still the man who said he would keep you alive.

In eight years on the run Neil had been through sixteen countries and twenty-two names. Hearing one name from Jean wouldn't mean anything. Hearing three wasn't a coincidence. It was a threat.

"You know, I get it," Neil said. "Being raised as a superstar must be really, really difficult for you. Always a commodity, never a human being, not a single person in your family thinking you're worth a damn off the court—yeah, sounds rough. Kevin and I talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time."

"I know it's not entirely your fault that you are mentally unbalanced and infected with these delusions of grandeur, and I know you're physically incapable of holding a decent conversation with anyone like every other normal human being can, but I don't think any of us should have to put up with this much of your bullshit. Pity only gets you so many concessions, and you used yours up about six insults ago. So please, please, just shut the fuck up and leave us alone."

Devoró

They knew he hated vegetables but loved fruit, that his favorite color was gray, and that he didn't like movies or loud music.

"That's Andrew for you: making sense since never."

Neil thought about Renee's bruised knuckles, Dan's fierce spirit, and Allison holding her ground on the court a week after Seth's death. He thought about his mother standing unflinching in the face of his father's violent anger and her ruthlessly leaving bodies in their wake. He felt compelled to say, "Some of the strongest people I've known are women."

They tried using God to shame me into being straight.

"That's what love is about, see? That's why Exy isn't ever going to be enough, not for you or Andrew or anyone. It can't hold you up, and it won't make you a stronger or better person."

Nicky had been at the end of his rope, but Erik was strong enough to hold him up. There was only one person in the world strong enough for all of Neil's problems, and she was dead now.

But that didn't count, because Andrew was Andrew, and this was definitely the last turn he needed his thoughts to take. He dragged his attention back to the task at hand and vowed never to listen to Nicky again.

"Can you do this, Kevin?" Abby asked, searching his face for any sign he was okay. "Can you play?" "If I am breathing, I can play," Kevin said. "This is my game too."

Andrew, for once in your miserable midgety life play like you want us to win, would you?"

"She's a psychiatrist," Neil said. "I distrust her on principle."

"Most everyone is waiting for something to happen with you two.

I am a bad person trying very hard to be a good person, but I would not be trying at all if not for the outside interventions in my life.

"I'm sorry," Neil said, when in reality he was a little jealous. Both she and Wymack lost their parents to prison violence, but no one dared attack his father. It would solve a world of problems for Neil if a few inmates could just work up enough aggression and courage.

They'd come to the Foxhole Court as fractured messes but they were fixing each other one semester at a time.

"Perhaps he knows you won't use it against him," Renee said.

We're all here because we have problems, Neil. That doesn't mean all our problems are the same. Dan and Matt try to understand the things I've seen and done, but they will never fully succeed. Andrew understands me, and I him. It's comforting knowing someone else has been where we once were.

"I grew up in that house, but Dad hasn't let me set foot in it since I came back out of the closet. I know they think I'm a heathen doomed to burn for eternity, and I know I should give up on them, but I can't. Maybe this call means they're coming around. I have to know. Please, Neil? I want my mom back. I miss her more than you know."

"My first memories are of people dying," Neil said. "I'm not afraid of you." "That's why you're so interesting," Andrew said. "How aggravating."

"How did you do it?" Neil neatly excised ninety percent of the truth and said, "I asked." "Yeah, right. Do you know what would have happened to me if I asked? Violence, Neil. Extreme and uncalled-for violence."

"Andrew doesn't give ground to anybody. Why does he keep saying yes to you?"

"Here's a real question: how have you survived this long when you're so violently self-destructive?"

"Liar. But that's what makes you interesting. It's also what makes you dangerous. I should know better by now. Maybe I'm not as smart as I thought I was. Should I be disappointed or amused?"

He withdrew completely, leaving just the memory of his heartbeat against Neil's mouth, and spun away.

Neil didn't know if this was sheer Fox bad luck, if he'd jinxed all of this by his very presence, or if rape and murder were always this complicated.

He didn't know how to explain the fear eating a hollow knot in his chest. Something like this demanded complete honesty, and Neil had been lying since he was old enough to speak. He didn't know how to tell the truth now. If he tried, would it still be the truth, or would he poison the words by saying them aloud?

"If I were you I'd be more concerned with Nicky. He came down here thinking he was going to fix his family, but now his entire family's fallen apart."

"What have I done?"

He talked to Andrew knowing it was going to end with an argument. He promised Andrew alcohol as a peace offering. Drake's idea, see? Dad just had to tell Andrew the bottle was upstairs, and Drake and Andrew would have all the privacy they needed to 'work on their issues'."

Neil waited, but Andrew didn't let go. With so many people watching them Neil couldn't lift his shirt. He did the next best thing and dragged one of Andrew's hands under the hem. He pressed Andrew's palm to the ugly scarring across his abdomen.

"Good," Neil said quietly. "So now you understand why Andrew killed your mother."

As soon as he started for her, Katelyn ran down the hall to meet him. She threw her arms around him and pulled him close. Aaron held onto her like she was the only thing keeping him upright and let her pull his face into her shoulder. Neil heard her voice, but not what she was saying. It was muffled where she'd pressed her face to Aaron's neck and shirt. Aaron didn't answer, but Katelyn didn't let go.

"It's not that simple," Kevin started. "Then simplify it," Neil cut in.

"Andrew knows," Neil said. "He left me his key."

"I can give you my number," Marissa said. Neil didn't remember asking for it at any point that night. "What for?"

She wasn't the first to say that, but Neil wondered if Andrew's opinion of him would change when he was off his medication.

"Most of us are. Some of us are like boys, though, and have delicate egos."

Facing Riko like this went against everything his mother taught him. He'd been raised to run, to sacrifice everything and everyone to ensure his own survival. His mother had never given him ground to stand on. Maybe that was why he hadn't been strong enough to save her in the end. A jumble of lies had nothing to fight for. But Neil Josten was a Fox. Andrew called this home; Nicky called him family. Neil wasn't going to lose any of it. If two weeks with Riko was the price to keep his team safe, Neil would pay it.

"I said family, you hard-of-hearing imbecile," Jean said. "His father. Your coach."

QUE

He was their family. They were his. They were worth every cut and bruise and scream.