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by
David Deida
The feminine, on the other hand, is not seeking freedom, but love. A woman’s bliss is not in emptiness, but in fullness. Her means is not release, but surrender.
The desire to ravish is the sexual aspect of the same masculine desire that wants to break through opponents on a basketball court, break through philosophical barriers to intellectual insight, or break through the fear of death into spiritual freedom.
The secret is to match her energy with consciousness demonstrated through your body. If she is screaming and breaking dishes, your body must meet her energy. Your fearlessness and strength of love must manifest through your body.
This sense of starvation—“life is not sustaining me” or “there are no good women”—is usually rooted in a man’s early childhood relationship with his mother.
There is a difference between your knee-jerk response to a cute babe and the open-hearted awe and mindless swoon you feel in the company of a woman who moves, breathes, smiles, and shines radiant feminine energy like a goddess.
If your purpose is to become ever more free of your self-burdens and give your true gift to the world, then a spiritually mature woman—who won’t let you slather in your comfy habits of security and distraction—may be an excellent ally for your journey.
If you are a man, you have probably found yourself inspired at some time or another by a woman. Such inspiration is usually temporary, because most men don’t know how to cultivate their relationship to the feminine. They tend to be inspired, and then spurt it out, through spasms of thought and ejaculation. Then they seek inspiration again, through more women, or through other feminine sources, such as alcohol, drugs, or nature.
His whole relation to appearance is epitomized in his relation to women, either as obsession, distraction, or revelation.
You’ve had tit. You’ve had pussy. You’ve had nurturing. You’ve had wild passion. And none of it lasted. It wasn’t even that good as long as it did last. Your need is far deeper than any woman can provide. So what is it?
Your ultimate desire is for the union of consciousness with its own luminosity, wherein all appearance is recognized as your deep, blissful nature,
Notice the obsessions—tits, ass, wealth, and fame—and practice the revelation of oneness by feeling through the obsessions.
In a subtle way, excess ejaculations will diminish your courage to take risks, professionally and spiritually. You will settle for doing enough to get by, to be comfortable, but you will find that you would rather watch TV than write your novel, meditate, or make that important phone call.
Right now, notice your breath. Are you inhaling so deeply you feel your genitals bulging slightly? Is your belly rising an falling with your inhale and exhale, like a mighty bellows? Your belly and lower abdomen are special places of power. If your breath does not reach these areas, you can’t recharge your batteries. You will feel weak and unsure of yourself. Your effect in the world will be minimal, less than your full potential. Inhale deeply, through your nose, and breathe through whatever tensions you notice in your body. Inhale deeply into your lower belly. Then exhale. On your next
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The technique for converting depletive orgasms into rejuvenative orgasms involves contracting the pelvic floor near the genitals and drawing energy upward along the spine, though the use of breath, feeling, and intention.
Breath moves life energy through your body as well as your partner’s. If your breathing becomes too shallow, the life force cannot be conducted through your body.
In addition to contracting the floor of your pelvis, practice pulling it upward into your body and toward your spine. This upward pull will actually lift your scrotum slightly up toward your body. As a single movement, practice contracting and pulling upward the entire floor of your pelvis, including the anus, perineum, and genitals. You can practice this in sets of 15 or 20 contractions, holding them as long as you can. Do several sets like this, three or four times a day.
When the energy shoots up your spine, relax and enjoy the colors, feelings, and blisses that will fill your head and rain down through your body. Once you are proficient at this exercise, you can evoke the same sensations in your partner by feeling into your partner from your heart as the orgasm shoots up your spine. The upward movement of your energy will magnetize the same movement in hers.
If you have a masculine sexual essence, then your woman and children can be loving you all day and night, but if your career or mission is obstructed, you will not feel at ease. You won’t even want to share much intimate time with your woman until you have your career or mission back on track.
If your woman has rejected her own feminine core, then she will struggle against her inherent heart-connection with you. She will try to identify with her masculine side, attempting to de-prioritize you and your relationship. She will think that she must “live her own life” and put more energy into her own career, for instance.
When your life is truly aligned with your highest purpose, you will become more present, more loving, and more humorous.
less spiritually mature man may say to his woman, “My way or the highway!” A man in the process of growing will often soften his direction and seek a compromise with his woman, playing Mr. Nice Guy. But a superior man will not settle for less than the fullest incarnation of love of which he and his woman are capable.
You could meditate until you’re blue in the face, but it won’t work, if, when it comes down to it, you’d rather masturbate, read the newspaper, or watch TV than cut through your addictions, discipline your daily life, and give your gift from your deepest, most blissful source.
In order to get along together, she will begin to adopt your masculine patterns of speech, denying her feminine desire to flow in play and pleasure without having to make masculine-style sense or fulfill a purpose. You will begin to adopt her feminine patterns of touch and affection, denying your desire to get down to it, with your mission or your woman.
The other means, besides austerity, for rediscovering your masculine core is through challenge. The more superficial forms of challenge include activities like mountain climbing, ropes courses, competitive sports, and boot camp. These forms of physical challenge instantly enliven the masculine sense of purpose and direction, in men and women.
The point is, there must be a consequence for freezing in the face of fear. There are obvious consequences for freezing in the face of fear when mountain climbing or playing competitive sports. You must instill consequences throughout the rest of your life, unless you want to cling to the safety net of superficial pleasures.
If you feel your friend is wasting his life, tell him so, because you love him.
Even during these celebrations, though, there should be a challenge to remain conscious and undistracted.
