To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others

by Daniel H. Pink

We’re persuading, convincing, and influencing others to give up something they’ve got in exchange for what we’ve got.

Elasticity. Whether we work for ourselves or for a large organization, instead of doing only one thing, most of us are finding that our skills on the job must now stretch across boundaries.

how the balance of power has shifted—and how we’ve moved from a world of caveat emptor, buyer beware, to one of caveat venditor, seller beware—where honesty, fairness, and transparency are often the only viable path.

ABC—“Always Be Closing.” The three chapters of Part Two introduce the new ABCs—Attunement, Buoyancy, and Clarity.

“buoyancy”—a quality that combines grittiness of spirit and sunniness of outlook.

One of the most effective ways of moving others is to uncover challenges they may not know they have. Here you’ll also learn about the craft of curation—along

“Serve.”

Make it personal and make it purposeful.

To sell well is to convince someone else to part with resources—not to deprive that person, but to leave him better off in the end.

Irritation, he says, is “challenging people to do something that we want them to do.” By contrast, “agitation is challenging them to do something that they want to do.”

“The Market for ‘Lemons’: Quality Uncertainty and the Market Mechanism.” Akerlof’s article went on to become one of the most cited economics papers of the last fifty years. In 2001, it earned him a Nobel Prize.

“Girard’s Rule of 250”—that each of us has 250 people in our lives we know well enough to invite to a wedding or a funeral.

“A—always. B—be. C—closing.

A—Attunement B—Buoyancy C—Clarity

Think of this first principle of attunement as persuasion jujitsu: using an apparent weakness as an actual strength. Start your encounters with the assumption that you’re in a position of lower power. That will help you see the other side’s perspective more accurately, which, in turn, will help you move them.

“One of those cues is the unconscious awareness of whether we are in synch with other people, and a way to do that is to match their behavioral patterns with our own.”14

Once positive emotions outnumbered negative emotions by 3 to 1—that is, for every three instances of feeling gratitude, interest, or contentment, they experienced only one instance of anger, guilt, or embarrassment—people generally flourished.

me, “is find the right problems to solve.”

Today, they must be good at asking questions—uncovering possibilities, surfacing latent issues, and finding unexpected problems. And one question in particular sits at the top of the list.

“unique selling proposition,” the idea that any product or service in the marketplace has to specify what differentiates it from its competitors.

in many cases the people who’d gotten that small dose of negative information were more likely to purchase the boots than those who’d received the exclusively positive information.

So if you’re making your case to someone who’s not intently weighing every single word, list all the positives—but do add a mild negative. Being honest about the existence of a small blemish can enhance your offering’s true beauty.

So next time you’re selling yourself, don’t fixate only on what you achieved yesterday. Also emphasize the promise of what you could accomplish tomorrow.

The lesson: Clarity on how to think without clarity on how to act can leave people unmoved.

So, on a scale of 1 to 10, how ready are you to try Pantalon’s two-question technique? And why isn’t your number lower?

Influence: Science and Practice

the world’s first elevator pitch.

pitch, to improvise, and to serve.

catchers took passion, wit, and quirkiness as positive cues—and

That is one-word equity.”7 When anybody thinks of you, they utter that word. When anybody utters that word, they think of you.

utility and curiosity.

specificity.

Complaints (“My plane is late. Again.”); Me Now (“I’m about to order a tuna sandwich”); and Presence Maintenance (“Good morning, everyone!”).

the highest ratings to tweets that asked questions of followers, confirming once again the power of the interrogative to engage and persuade.

Once upon a time ______________________________. Every day, _______________. One day _________________________. Because of that, ___________________. Because of that, _______________________. Until finally ___________________.

Once upon a time there was a widowed fish named Marlin who was extremely protective of his only son, Nemo. Every day, Marlin warned Nemo of the ocean’s dangers and implored him not to swim far away. One day in an act of defiance, Nemo ignores his father’s warnings and swims into the open water. Because of that, he is captured by a diver and ends up as a pet in the fish tank of a dentist in Sydney. Because of that, Marlin sets off on a journey to recover Nemo, enlisting the help of other sea creatures along the way. Until finally Marlin and Nemo find each other, reunite, and learn that love depends on trust.24

After someone hears your pitch . . . What do you want them to know? What do you want them to feel? What do you want them to do?

Three cheers, then, to Mark Dytham and Astrid Klein, Tokyo-based architects who’ve brewed an antidote to awful PowerPoint presentations. They call their creation pecha-kucha,* which is Japanese for “chatter.”

(1) Hear offers. (2) Say “Yes and.” (3) Make your partner look good.

many of us, the opposite of talking isn’t listening. It’s waiting. When others speak, we typically divide our attention between what they’re saying now and what we’re going to say next—and end up doing a mediocre job at both.

Make your partner look good. Improv artists have long understood that helping your fellow performer shine helps you both create a better scene.

“To win an argument is to lose a sale.”11

Greek Stoic philosopher Epictetus said, “Nature hath given men one tongue but two ears, that we may hear from others twice as much as we speak.”

take five seconds before responding.

These questions must also abide by three rules: (1) You cannot ask yes-no questions. (2) Your questions cannot be veiled opinions. (3) Your partner must answer each question.

Impro: Improvisation and the Theatre by Keith Johnstone.

Improvisation for the Theater by Viola Spolin.

Creating Conversations: Improvisation in Everyday Discourse by R. Keith Sawyer.

Improv Wisdom: Don’t Prepare, Just Show Up by Patricia Ryan

The Second City Almanac of Improvisation by Anne Libera.