Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1)

by E.L. James

“I’m sorry, I was overtaken by events.”

watching him like one would watch a rare and dangerous predator, waiting for him to strike.

OKAY THEN

tried to seduce you

Tried to rape her. Josè tried to rape her.

What kind of friend does that?

I mean, are you fucking kidding me?

“This is mine,”

I would just like to point out that she hasnt signed the contract yet

affecting…everything.

Good description. Really putting us in the action here -_-

Abruptly, he moves, doing several things at once: withdrawing his fingers, leaving me wanting, unzipping his fly, and pushing me down onto the couch so he’s lying on top of me.

Its physically impossible to do all of these at once

know it’s so I won’t touch him.

Good thing you told us, we wouldnt have figuhred it out otherwise

I will spank you,”

SHE LITERALLY JUST TOLD YOU SHE DIDNT WANT YOU TO YOU CREEP

revel in the fullness of his possession.

I hate this book

this is my power,

He just threatened to abuse you

I mustn’t come.

So power. Such triumph.

a perfect counterpoint.

I changed my mind. This book is the peak of Western literature.

puts it in his pants pocket.

EW EW EW EW Your in a boathouse. Throw it in the lake. Unless you want to go back to your family smelling like jizz?

Christ, she can be really irritating.”

Must run in the family

their rightful place,

Why is this so funny to me?

“But it was tolerable?”

This is how humans talk

my rowing trophies,”

That is the worst penis euphamism ive ever heard

“I will do it again, Anastasia, and soon,” he threatens quietly close to my ear, then he

Again, she said not to, that would be abuse

Playful Kate is novel;

This sentence made me realize that i genuinely dont know what Kate's characterization is supposed to be.

want to roll my eyes back at him,

Isnt he rolling his eyes at Mia?

Grace scolds him indulgently,

What does this sentence mean?

intense and meaningful conversation?

Has it? I hadnt noticed.

What can I say?

That youre an emotionally unstable prick who pretends to be a dom when hes actually just a domestic abuser with serious mommy issues? Spoilers.

And it’s such a fitting metaphor.

Let me go into painstaking detail as to why.

I’ll sign your contract.”

They already made these promises. This scene is worthless. Like this book.

spur-of-the-moment decision.

That youve been deliberating on for twenty chapters

“You really should wear your seat belt,”

Wouldnt want you to hurt yourself. Only im allowed to do that.

allow myself to fantasize that he loves me.

As much as Im shitting on this book, I have to admit--this is pretty real.

I may prevail upon you some more,”

Im about to prevail into a sick bag.

He grins at me lasciviously.

I wonder if he still has the condom in his pocket.

removes my dress like a magician,

When was the last time a magician took off a woman's dress as part of his act?

What did you expect—that you’d grow horns and a little pointy tail?

I love reading James call herself out on her terrible narration.

all he’s conceded.

Remember that time he didnt beat you against your will? Hasnt he sacrificed enough?

puts it in his mouth.

Youre generally supposed to use toothpaste with it

Fifty shades.

Did you forget what book youre reading? God, if only.

Fuck, this is sexier than the toothbrush.

I would sure as hell hope so.

needy for sex.

Thanks for the carification. "Boy these sex toys in my snatch are really making me crave a sandwich right now."

And I slip into a dazed and exhausted sleep, dreaming of a four-year-old gray-eyed boy in a dark, scary, miserable place.

The ending of this chapter reads exactly like when i dont know how to end a first draft of something, so I just write any bullshit and fix it up in revisions. Except its a published novel I paid real money for.

“Clear my schedule this morning, but get Bill to call me. I’ll be in at two. I need to talk to Marco this afternoon, that will need at least half an hour…Schedule Barney and his team in after Marco or maybe tomorrow, and find time for me to see Claude every day this week…Tell him to wait…Oh…No, I don’t want publicity for Darfur…Tell Sam to deal with it…No…Which event?…That’s next Saturday?…Hold on.”

Why is this here?

the castle in the air.

I thought she was already in the castle in the air?

She has a bohemian look about her,

UMM

tendrils are behaving themselves.

Do you have Medusa hair or something?

Jack Hyde, the acquisitions editor

And yet i dress like an art student

Fifty Shades?

DID YOU FORGET WHICH BOOK YOURE READING?

I was trying to make him jealous—give

How could that possibly go wrong?

“No, Kate.

I mean, technically yes

If that’s going well, then that’s half the battle,

Life lessons with Kate

mean machine,

Please stop calling it that

Language evolves and moves on.

That doesnt excuse your shit syntax and grammar