Bigger Leaner Stronger: The Simple Science of Building the Ultimate Male Body

by Michael Matthews

This loss of momentum is probably why many people seem to give up on their fitness aspirations around the three-month mark.

Would you have a great empire? Rule over yourself. —PUBLILIUS SYRUS

the lack of willpower is the number one obstacle people face in achieving their goals.1 Many feel guilty about their lack of self-control, like they’re letting themselves and others down. They feel like their lives are, in large part, not under their control, and that their actions are dictated by emotions, impulses, and cravings. For many of these people, exerting self-discipline ultimately just leads to exhaustion.

the internal struggle of self-discipline is just part of being human.

the self-awareness that comes with gaining a deeper understanding of how we tick is incredibly empowering. By learning about what makes us likely to lose control and why, we can more skillfully manage our “willpower reserves” and avoid the pitfalls that drain them.

“I want” is the ability to remember the why when temptation strikes—the long-term goal or thing you really want more than the fast food or night on the couch.

Become the master of your won’ts, wills, and wants, and you become the master of your destiny. Procrastination can be licked. Your worst habits can be dismantled and replaced. Whiffs of temptation lose their sway over you. Don’t expect these abilities to come easily, though. “Reprogramming” yourself to favor the harder choices is uncomfortable. You might find it overwhelming at first. You’re going to be drawn back to what’s familiar. Stay the course, however, and you’ll find it progressively easier and easier to say no to the distractions and yes to the things you need to do.

The dopamine problems don’t end here, either. Research shows that the dopamine release triggered by a promise of one type of reward can make us more likely to pursue others. For example, if you look at pictures of naked women, you’re more likely to make risky financial decisions.9 If you dream about striking it rich, food can suddenly become very appetizing.

Just about everywhere we go, something screams “here’s a reward!” to our brains. Constantly awash in dopamine, it’s all too easy for us to feel like one big itch that always needs scratching.

The cheeseburger can’t force itself down your throat with a few handfuls of french fries in tow. It needs your cooperation. So in this way, you’re the threat. My point is we need protection from ourselves, not from diabolical ground beef and potato sticks, and that’s what self-control is for. It’s for relaxing the muscles, slowing the heart rate, elongating the breaths, and buying some time to think about what we really want to do next.

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. —UNKNOWN

Nothing undermines willpower and self-control like the stresses of everyday living.1 The more stressed we generally feel, the more likely we are to overeat, overspend, and do the many other things we regret shortly thereafter. Anything that causes stress, whether mental or physical, drains our supply of willpower and reduces our capacity for self-control. And anything we can do to reduce stress in our lives and improve mood improves our self-control. How do most people try to cope with stress, though? What do they routinely turn to for consolation? Food, alcohol, video games, television, shopping, and surfing the internet are the usual suspects.2

A good way to measure stress levels in your body is to look at something called heart rate variability, which is how much your heartbeat speeds up and slows down as you breathe. The more stressed you are, the less variability there is in your heartbeat—the more it gets “stuck” at a faster rate.

If you want to see this in action, the next time you face a willpower challenge, deliberately slow your breathing to about 10 to 15 seconds per breath, or four to six breaths per minute. An easy way to do this is to exhale through your mouth slowly and fully with your lips pursed as if you were blowing lightly through a straw. By slowing down your breathing like this, you can increase your heart rate variability and instantaneously boost your willpower and ability to resist the effects of stress.

Here are 13 simple and effective ways to enter this state. 1. You can enjoy nice smells. Aromatherapy is a couple-thousand-year-old method of reducing stress and promoting relaxation. It also has some modern scientific evidence on its side.

2. You can give and get a massage. I probably don’t need to cite research to convince you that receiving a massage is a great way to relieve stress, but one rather interesting study conducted by scientists at the University of Oxford and ORYGEN Research Centre found that giving a massage has similar effects.11 That’s right: make a deal with your significant other to trade massages before bed, and a whole lot of relaxation is probably going to occur.

3. You can have more sex. If you’re not having much sex these days, science says you should bump those rookie numbers up. Why? Because research shows that regular sex reduces anxiety, stress, and depression and improves mood, happiness, and resilience.

the day after having sex, people felt 10 to 20 percent less anxious as well as more self-assured and less worried about what others thought of them. This was particularly true for those who were naturally more anxious.

this “afterglow” effect of sex boosts mood and well-being for about 48 hours in most people.

4. You can change your perception of stress. We know that high amounts of stress are associated with impaired mental and physical health and well-being, but there’s a twist. Research shows that our perception of stress as harmful is what really gives it teeth.17 That is, getting overly stressed about stress is what really pushes us into the mud. This is why a study conducted by scientists at the University of Denver found that if we can consciously reappraise stressful situations—choose to look at them differently—we can drain them of much of their destructive power.

5. You can get more sleep. If you sleep too little too regularly, you’ll find yourself more susceptible to stress and temptation and lacking the mental energy needed to keep your good habits in play and your bad ones at bay. In fact, research shows that sleep deprivation causes symptoms similar to ADHD: distractibility, forgetfulness, impulsivity, poor planning, and hyperactivity.

6. You can avoid screens before bedtime. It’s fairly well known these days that nighttime light exposure suppresses your body’s production of melatonin, a hormone that induces sleepiness.20 This not only makes it harder to fall asleep but also reduces the quality of the sleep you do get.

7. You can spend less time with tech. Staring at screens at night messes up your melatonin production, and it appears that staring at them too much in general can mess up your mind. A number of studies have shown that the more people use and feel tied to their computers and cell phones, the more stressed they generally feel.

People who used their cell phones heavily were more likely to complain of sleep disorders and depression. People constantly available on their cell phones were the most likely to experience mental health issues. People who regularly use the computer late at night were more likely to experience sleep disorders, stress, and depression. Frequent computer use without breaks increases the likelihood of stress, sleep problems, and depression.

8. You can listen to classical music. Next time you’re stressed, put on some slow, quiet classical music, and before long, you’ll be nestled in its soothing embrace.

9. You can drink green tea. I’m a big fan of tea and its many health benefits, and here’s another reason to drink it regularly: it’s a powerful stress buster.

10. You can go for a walk in the park. When you review the daily routines of many of history’s greatest thinkers and innovators, you’ll quickly notice how many of them valued long walks in nature.

Thomas Jefferson advised his nephew that “there is no habit you will value so much as that of walking far without fatigue,” and took regular walks around his Monticello estate well into old age.

11. You can take a hot bath. For thousands of years, hot baths have been used to ease pain, aid in relaxation, and ward off and treat disease. In fact, the word spa comes from the Latin sanus per aquam—“health through water”—which was an ancient Roman remedy for battle-weary soldiers. Modern medical research has confirmed that regular dips in hot water are indeed healthful and restorative.

12. You can consume less media. This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, really, but research shows that exposing yourself to a constant barrage of bad news, scare tactics, and morbid reminders of your mortality increases the likelihood of overeating, overspending, and other willpower failures.

13. You can exercise regularly. Nothing seems to improve self-control in all aspects of our lives like exercise. If you want a willpower “quick fix,” this is it. Several studies show that regular exercise reduces cravings for both food and drugs, increases heart rate variability, makes us more resistant to stress and depression, and even optimizes overall brain function.33 Its effects are immediate, too, and it doesn’t even take a lot to boost willpower. Studies show that just five minutes of low-intensity exercise outdoors is enough to improve your mental state.34

The greatest discovery of my generation is that you can change your circumstances by changing your attitudes of mind. —WILLIAM JAMES

You’ve probably heard that willpower is like a muscle. That it only has so much strength, and every time you “flex” it, it becomes a little bit weaker, until finally, it fails. If that’s true, it would also mean that you could train your “willpower muscle” like a physical one and make it stronger and more resistant to fatigue.

There’s also good evidence that we can indeed increase our overall willpower by “training” it with regular, small acts of self-control. Studies show this can be accomplished in various ways, including eating fewer sweets, tracking spending, correcting our posture, refraining from swearing, squeezing a handgrip every day, and using our nondominant hand for various tasks.

Research shows that a willingness to think thoughts and feel feelings without having to act on them is an effective method of dealing with a wide variety of challenges, such as mood disorders, food cravings, and addiction.6 On the other hand, trying to suppress negative thoughts and feelings, like self-criticism, worries, sadness, or cravings, can lead to greater feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and depression, and even overeating.7 In other words, instead of “fighting the urge,” if you can “ride the wave” until it crests and peters out, cooler heads can prevail. This isn’t hard to do, either. When a disturbing thought or longing appears, face it calmly instead of trying to forcefully eject it from your mind. You don’t have to contemplate its meaning or read into it. You just have to accept that it’s there and play it down as something unimportant that will fade. “Riding the wave” is particularly relevant to dieting, as research shows that the more you try to suppress thoughts about food, the more likely you are to struggle with cravings and binge eating.

The strategy starts with noticing and accepting the undesirable feelings. Then, remind yourself that while you may not always be able to control where your mind wanders, you can always control how you respond. Finally, before indulging in whatever has your eye, remember the goal that’s at stake and why you committed to abstaining in the first place.

A simple way to implement it in your life is to put a mandatory 10-minute wait time in place before you allow yourself to act on a craving or other impulsive urge to do something you know you shouldn’t.

This strategy can be used to overcome “I will” challenges as well. If you’re dreading something you know you need to do, commit to doing it for 10 minutes and then decide whether to continue. Chances are, you’ll find that once you’re in motion, you’ll want to keep going.

How much discomfort are you willing to endure now to get that bigger, leaner, and stronger body? How many immediate rewards are you willing to refuse in pursuit of larger, delayed ones? How well can you keep your eyes on the horizon?

For instance, when you face the prospect of putting down a pile of piping hot pizza with all your favorite toppings—for the third time that week—you could take a moment to imagine having achieved your ideal body composition. The more vividly you can experience this, the better. Really feel your rippling abs, bulging biceps, and powerful chest. Envision how y1our new clothes fit you, and how proud you are whenever you catch a glimpse of your new body in a reflection. Then think about how digging into the pizza will mean giving all that up and watching your body bulge and bloat. Chances are the big grease wheel will suddenly look a lot less appetizing.

Fortunately, positive attitudes and behaviors are contagious as well. If we surround ourselves with people who are generally upbeat, uplifting, and possessed of higher than average willpower and self-control, we too can “catch” these traits.26 In fact, research shows that simply thinking about people with high levels of self-control can temporarily increase our willpower.27

Limit your exposure to instances of people failing willpower challenges.

Join forces with at least one person who’s on the same path as you and making progress.

Read or listen to stories about how others have gotten fit.

For our purposes here, remember that our goal isn’t just good workouts or on-target eating. It’s hitting the pool or beach with confidence. It’s throwing away the scale because you don’t need it anymore. It’s the surprise on people’s faces when they haven’t seen you in a while. It’s the newfound intimacy in your love life. In short, bingeing on ice cream and missing workouts aren’t little “oopsies” that you can erase with the right thoughts. They’re direct threats to your overarching objectives. Remember that when you come face to face with sticky willpower challenges.

Remember that Future You isn’t some abstract entity whose emotions and desires will be radically different from Present You’s. And when tomorrow comes, the chances of doing what you didn’t do today are slim. More often than not, you’re going to find yourself in the exact same state of mind, and you’re going to respond in the exact same way. This is why we can all benefit from improving our ability to connect our present actions with their future consequences.

You can think about how you will behave in the future. Just thinking about the future—not even the rewards per se—can strengthen your willpower. Specifically, by imagining yourself in the future, doing what you should be doing or refraining from what you shouldn’t be doing, you can increase your chances of success.

You can write a letter to Future You. In this letter, you should write about what you think Future You will be like, what your hopes for him are, what you’re doing for him now that’ll pay off later, what he might say about Present You, and even what the consequences of failing now will mean for him down the line.

You can imagine Future You in vivid detail. To do this, explore the future consequences of your current behaviors, both good and bad.

Well, I have good news for you: you’re going to make mistakes in your fitness journey. You’re going to eat too much at parties, skip workouts for no good reason, and give less than 100 percent sometimes. Why is that good news? Because you have nothing to worry about. Like most everything in life, you don’t need to be anywhere near perfect to win in the fitness game. You just have to be good enough most of the time. Perfectionism isn’t required, nor is it even desirable because it often makes the whole process more stressful than it needs to be.