More on this book
Kindle Notes & Highlights
Be brave and from now on be determined to utilize all the abilities you possess. Be successful. Replace the frown on your face with a smile, depression with cheerfulness, miserliness with generosity, and anger with perseverance. Turn your calamities into occasions of joy and your faith into a weapon!
Success is not to discover what others like, it is to acquire and practice the skills that help one gain their love.
When you climb a mountain, look to the top and not to the rocks that surround you. Make sure of where you step as you climb, and do not leap in case you loose your footing.
The Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Knowledge is only gained through learning, and clemency is only gained through perseverance.”
The hero is the one who goes beyond his ability to improve his skills, until he becomes able to improve, and perhaps even alter, the skills of others.
One person enters a public gathering and everyone smiles at his face and feels joy at meeting him; everyone wishes to sit next to him.
When I pass by the guard, I am always eager to smile at him and signal with my hand by way of giving my salams to him. After the Salah, I get in my car and make my way home. Usually, whilst I am doing my Salah in the mosque, I receive a number of next rebadged and missed calls, on my cell phone.
Do not earn wealth and lose people, for earning people is a way to earning wealth.
With gentleness and interpersonal skills, we can achieve our objectives.
Even more, you should be able to change your own personality by replacing a frowning face with a smiling one, replacing anger with forbearance, and miserliness with generosity.
“The best of you is the one who is best to his family. And I am the best of you to my family.”
Instead of cursing the darkness, try to fix the lamp.
Perhaps just a smile at a poor man would raise you in rank in the sight of Allah.
says, “When one neglects his shegoat, she brings home a male-goat,”
The Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) would advise people to treat their womenfolk with kindness and have regard for their emotions, so that they may live
with them in happiness. He advised fathers to be kind to their daughters.
“You must treat your womenfolk well! You must treat your womenfolk well!”
A woman can be patient with her husband’s poverty, unattractiveness and busy schedule, but she cannot be patient with his rude behavior.
A child is like soft clay that we shape according to our treatment of it.
Treat people humanely, irrespective of their appearance, wealth and status.
The best preacher is the one who preaches with his actions before his words.
Allah has honored man, but this does not give him an excuse to oppress the rest of His creatures.
The Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “The most complete in faith are those best in their character, those who are easy to socialise with, and those who get along with others and others get along with them. There is no good in the one who cannot get along with others and others cannot get along with him.” (al-Tirmidhi, Sahih)
“O Allah, just as you have beautified my physical being, beautify my character.” (Ahmad, Sahih)
He (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) also would say, “O Allah, guide me to the best of manners, for none guides to them except You. Protect me from bad manners, for none can protect me except You.” (Muslim)
Purify your intention so that your interpersonal skills can turn into acts of worship, with which you can draw closer to Allah.
Do not think that people are of a similar nature. Rather, they differ tremendously.
Talk about what others like to hear, not what you like to relate.
The first meeting imprints 70% of the impression that one has of a person on his mind. Thus, one should treat a person as if it is the first and last time he will ever meet him.
Knowing the personality of the one you are dealing with helps you earn his love.
“He never saw me except that he smiled…”
He used to encourage people to demonstrate good behavior and have a beautiful appearance, nice clothes and a fine smell. He often used to say, “Allah is beautiful and loves beauty.”
The first look makes up for 70% of the impression people get of you.
They deceived you when they said that it was only a white lie, because a lie is always black in color.
“Whoever seeks people’s pleasure at the displeasure of Allah, Allah becomes displeased with him, as do the people. And whoever seeks the pleasure of Allah for the displeasure of people, Allah becomes pleased with him, as do the people”
Allah says, “Do not obey those who reject the truth. They wish that you compromise, so they too can compromise.”
only great people can have this characteristic - those who rise with their noble principles above the lowliness of revenge and retribution, grudge and rage. Life is very short. It is surely too short for us to soil it with grudge and malice.
Life is all about give and take, so give more than you take.
As for the generous one, then he generously spends on his friends. He is always close to those he loves. If they want to meet up, they know to meet in his house. If one of them is lacking in anything, he is the first one to offer help, thereby capturing their hearts by his generosity. He enslaves their hearts with his kindness.
Point of view… Opportunities to win people’s hearts do not come often.
They say… As you sleep, the oppressed remains alert. He prays against you, while Allah’s eyes never sleep.
You will find as you deal with people that everyone has a different nature. Some are very angry while others are very cold. Some are intelligent while others are foolish. Some are learned while others are ignorant. Some have good opinions of others while others do not.
You would find many such people in real life. Try to bear their cumbersome attitude, treat them kindly and earn their love. Try your best not to gain enemies for yourself. You have not been put in charge of them by Allah. So, save whoever you can and do not torment yourself unnecessarily. A thought… Life is too short to gain enemies.
Reality... A man’s flesh is not fit for eating nor is his skin fit for clothing − there is nothing in him except the sweetness of his tongue.
For this reason, the Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) advised that when a person gets angry, he should observe silence, because he otherwise would not be able to control his tongue.
How right Abu Bakr (May ALLAH be pleased with him) was when he said, “Nothing is as deserving of long-term imprisonment as the tongue!”
Interestingly... Animals have long tongues, yet they cannot speak. Man has a relatively short tongue, yet he cannot keep silent.
Flattery is the key to people’s hearts. From the most fantastic of skills that one can exercise is to train himself to discover the positive points in people and praise them for these points before drawing their attention to a fault.
How should you then deal with him? You should first quell your rage and then approach him. Deal with him rationally and not emotionally. Do not let the intolerable scene affect the way you behave. Smile, even if you are angry, even if it be a fake smile.
In this manner, you should try to deal with anyone whose manners need reformation. If you know of a person who takes his prayers lightly, or a father who doesn’t care much about his daughters’ appearance due to which they do not cover properly, or a young man who is disobedient to his parents, and you want to rectify their faults, then you must use the appropriate skills.
