The Good, the Bad, and the Aunties (Aunties, #3)

by Jesse Q. Sutanto

My husband. The term still sends a delightful little shiver down my back.

Girl, same.

Argh, what is it about Ma that makes me want to hug her even while she infuriates the heck out of me?

My whole life has been a series of mixed messages from Ma,

my two-year-old nephew Herrisan Ford,

Brilliant.

I hate surprises. People often say they hate surprises, but see, the last time my mother and aunts surprised me, I killed that surprise, so when I say I hate surprises, I really mean it.

This time, there are a lot more desserts than usual, because sweet foods signify a hope for a sweet year ahead.

Lapis Surabaya, a notoriously rich Indonesian layered cake that uses no fewer than thirty egg yolks per loaf;

Dear Lord!

Nathan squeezes my hand, and when I look up at him, I find him gazing at me with complete understanding, and I know then that we both feel like we’ve found our home.

I’m Julia Child Handoko. You may call me Julia Child.” Of course. She can’t just be Julia Handoko. She’s got to be named after some famous white person.

There is a horrified silence. Because worse even than the threat of death by mafia is the threat of losing face.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen my aunties looking this enraged. If there’s anything Ma and the aunties cannot abide, it’s teenagers being rude toward their elders and betters.

because this is the point where I realize that we’re not dealing with a normal teen—we’re dealing with an evil genius. Using the threat of embarrassment, and therefore losing face, against Ma and the aunties is like stealing their ultimate weapon and then pointing it back at them.

Just tell the teenager that Nathan is being held hostage!!

maniacal laughter rip out of her. It’s the first time I’ve seen someone do that whole “Mwahaha!” laughter, and it’s disconcerting as hell.

As it should be.

But no world politics is more complicated than the aunties network.

Nathan swallows and proceeds with the care that one takes approaching a live bomb.

I really love her phrasing.

“They will only make things worse. Americans, always marching everywhere, claiming power where they have no right to.

True.

God, I’m even rambling in my own head. This is a sure sign that I’m losing it.

“Hey, we’re a family now. And you and your aunts—you’re exactly the kind of family I have always wanted to have. The kind of family that would burn down the world to protect one another. Do you realize what a privilege it is to be included in your family?”

How lovely.

the Denzel in distress?

Ma leans over and pats him gently on the arm. “Is okay, Nathan, is because you not use to breaking into other people house, ya? Because you such a good boy. But Meddy—” She levels her gaze at me, her eyes narrowing. “Meddy should know better. She seasoned criminal already.” “What?” I cry. Ma holds up her index finger. “Kill Ah Guan, hide his body, lie to police . . .” “Okay, okay, I get it.” “But Nathan, he innocent boy.” Ma smiles at him and pinches his cheek. “Thanks, Ma.” He beams at her. The little suck-up.

“Everything worth doing is worth doing the Asian way—that is, with high accuracy.”

Whom to call? The cops, obviously. Screw Abraham Lincoln and Julia Child not wanting to get the cops involved.

Literal wars have been fought, countless lives ended, over sillier reasons. Love is perhaps the only thing worth fighting over.