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The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness
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August 19 - August 26, 2025
Don’t waste the rest of your time here worrying about other people—unless it affects the common good. It will keep you from doing anything useful. You’ll be too preoccupied with what so-and-so is doing, and why, and what they’re saying, and what they’re thinking, and what they’re up to, and all the other things that throw you off and keep you from focusing on your own mind.[20]
internalizing disorders. These are disorders in which a person feels strong distress and experiences the symptoms inwardly. The person with an internalizing disorder feels emotions such as anxiety, fear, sadness, and hopelessness.
externalizing disorders are those in which a person feels distress and turns the symptoms and responses outward, aimed at other people. These conditions include conduct disorder, difficulty with anger management, and tendencies toward violence and excessive risk-taking.
anxiety is anticipation of future threat.”[12]
Anxiety and its associated disorders seem to be the defining mental illnesses of young people today.
But when our alarm bell is on a hair trigger so that it is frequently activated by ordinary events—including many that pose no real threat—it keeps us in a perpetual state of distress.
We’ll see that a play-based childhood strengthens them, while a phone-based childhood weakens them.
The second wave was the rapid increase in the paired technologies of social media and the smartphone, which reached a majority of homes by 2012 or 2013.
Collective anxiety can bind people together and motivate them to take action, and collective action is thrilling, especially when it is carried out in person.
Between 2010 and 2015, the social lives of American teens moved largely onto smartphones with continuous access to social media, online video games, and other internet-based activities. This Great Rewiring of Childhood, I argue, is the single largest reason for the tidal wave of adolescent mental illness that began in the early 2010s.
The first generation of Americans who went through puberty with smartphones (and the entire internet) in their hands became more anxious, depressed, self-harming, and suicidal.
Children can only learn how to not get hurt in situations where it is possible to get hurt, such as wrestling with a friend, having a pretend sword fight, or negotiating with another child to enjoy a seesaw when a failed negotiation can lead to pain in one’s posterior, as well as embarrassment.
Experience, not information, is the key to emotional development.
For girls, the worst years for using social media were 11 to 13; for boys, it was 14 to 15.[36]
Discover mode (BAS) Scan for opportunities Kid in a candy shop Think for yourself Let me grow! Defend mode (BIS) Scan for dangers Scarcity mindset Cling to your team Keep me safe!
Stress wood is a perfect metaphor for children, who also need to experience frequent stressors in order to become strong adults.
Several studies find that such “coddling” or “helicopter parenting” is correlated with later anxiety disorders, low self-efficacy (which is the inner confidence that one can do what is needed to reach one’s goals), and difficulty adjusting to college.[14]
“keep them as safe as necessary, not as safe as possible.”[27]
“a culture or belief system in which safety has become a sacred value, which means that people become unwilling to make trade-offs demanded by other practical and moral concerns.
‘Safety’ trumps everything else, no matter how unlikely or trivial the potential danger.”[52]