Welcome to Fae Cafe (High Court of the Coffee Bean, #1)

by Jennifer Kropf

“Well, when you’re ready to talk, my door is always open, my cookies are always warm, and my tea kettle is always hot.”

“Are you drinking coffee? You shouldn’t do that, Your Highness. It’s how the bravest humans poison themselves.” Shayne’s voice appeared, and Cress stopped marching. He turned once, then twice. “Where are you?” Cress demanded because he hadn’t smelled Shayne approach. “You didn’t end our conversation,” Shayne said. “I’m still in your mirror.”

A second later, he choked on a piece of brick and spat it across the table into Dranian’s eggs.

“If he so much as touches me, beat him up,” Kate added, her raspy voice filling the library. She slowly inched past the group toward the library doors.

“Look!” he said, tossing the fruit to Cress. Cress caught it and held it up to study it. “It’s a human grape,” Mor said. “You have to peel it.”

“It has seeds,” he complained to Mor.

Dranian stopped scooping ground coffee from the tins. Shayne continued smoothing down his barista apron as he studied his reflection in a spoon.

“I’m cleaning,” Shayne said. “Well, I’m sort of cleaning. Honestly, I just flit around from corner to corner until Mor and Dranian do everything.”

things you’re not good at.” “I’m good at everything,” Cress objected. “You’re dreadful at romance. You’re like a crossbeast blazing through a twig forest. You leave a mess.” “That is not true.”

Thirty minutes later, three assassins sat around the café sipping warm pumpkin spice lattes and flipping the pages of their novels quietly.

“Human.” Mor appeared behind Kate. “We must leave before this situation escalates.” Kate looked up just in time to see Dranian charge Shayne. He grabbed him around the middle and lifted him off the floor. Shayne whacked Dranian’s back with his book as he was carried and slammed against the wall.

He also forgot how to breathe when she intervened in Shayne and Dranian’s petty male fight at the human bookshop.

her hair with a wet brush. The other half of the morning Kate had spent trying unsuccessfully to teach Shayne how to drive a car he said he bought. The lesson lasted until the fae admitted the car was stolen and Kate had jumped out of it and smacked his shoulder. The shortened lesson was for the best anyway since it turned out Shayne had horrifyingly aggressive road rage.

Shayne was the only one who didn’t walk like he was on a runway, and Kate imagined him curling his toes in the shoes she’d forced him to wear.

“Of all the ugly humans in this room, that one”—Shayne nodded toward Connor’s back, and Connor craned his neck like he knew he was being talked about—“is the most repulsive one of all. Though, I suppose that’s not really a joke, is it?” Connor stopped dancing. Kate’s lips peeled apart. After a moment, Lily’s laughter erupted across the dance floor.

Kate reached out to do something as the policeman gasped. In one sweep, Cress kicked Connor’s legs out, lifted him, and tossed him off the dock.

When Kate didn’t answer, his smile widened, revealing the faint traces of dimples. “Queensbane, Human. You like us, don’t you?” He poked her nose. “I think I like you, too.” Kate tossed her blue-light glasses back to her desk and stood. “I’m going to bed.”

“Hey! It’s still my turn!” Shayne barked after him, but Dranian got there first and tugged the thing off the wall. He turned with a taunting sneer and jiggled it in the air.

Shayne hopped the chair and tried to grab it, but Dranian flung it away. It sailed toward the café door as Lily opened it and walked in. The goopy figurine smacked her forehead and clung there, and both fae jerked to a halt.

“It was those two.” Mor lifted a foot and pointed at Shayne and Dranian with his toes. “They visited every bookstore, academy, and storefront for miles and flirted shamelessly with all the humans.” His gaze finally flickered up with a look. “They made a lot of promises.

Shayne’s bare chest glistened in the morning sunlight like a beacon for every lonely woman in the city to come running. He fastened an apron to himself that didn’t hide much, and he winked at a lady coming in.

“Shut down? Look at all the coin you’re making! I’ll make you rich, Human.” Shayne opened his arms like he was presenting himself as her greatest asset.

It took all of three seconds before she caught Shayne reaching across the counter and encouraging some random customer to feel the muscles in his arm who didn’t ask to.

“What about a Spearmint Ca-Fae Latte? With a magical touch,”

“You’re too kind-hearted,” he stated. “It’s weak.” “You’re still a monster. It’s scary.” He glanced at her, but she couldn’t see his eyes past his sunglasses. A laugh escaped her as he seemed unable to come up with a response. Cress reached over and took her hand again. “I like your laugh. It’s harmless in both an irritating and infatuating way.”

He stuck his tongue into the liquid first, then smacked the tabletop and growled. “It’s hot!”

“That is the best warm beast’s milk I have ever tasted in my entire faeborn life!”

“Unreal,” Kate whispered, trying to imagine that. She tapped the table with her fingers. “I think what Dranian has is called panic attacks to us humans. But I haven’t seen him have one yet.” Cress adjusted himself in his seat. “He hasn’t had one since he’s been here.”

“They’re trembling now.” A pause. “Also, these moving stairs are terrifying.”

“The magic stairs want to trap us here,” he muttered when they finally leapt off. “How outrageous.” He slid his sunglasses back on.

“Seriously, just say it,” she said. “All right.” Cress cleared his throat and stood tall again. His hand tightened ever so slightly around her fingers. She sighed and scratched her head as he took an absurd about of time to collect himself. People were still watching. “I need a new coat,” Cress finally said.

“Aw, Cress!” Shayne ripped off his apron and hurtled it onto the counter. “Why’d you have to do that in front of us?!” Cress tossed Kate’s hand away with a moan-growl. “Oh, for the love of the sky deities!”

“I was being followed by Shadow Fairies. There were only two of them—Ugh!” Dranian kicked him in the shin.

“Dranian and I are risking our lives for you, too. You need to tell us what’s going on, or I’m going to trot back into that café and kiss our human right in front of you.”

Cress grumbled and closed his eyes again, the sound an irritating, lovely poison in his ears as Kate could not seem to stop, hard as she tried. He wanted to curse that infectious, hoarse laugh as it became the lullaby to which he fell asleep.

“Which of my assassins is your least favourite? I want to see if we picked the same one.”

“My mugs!” Shayne burst from the kitchen and sprinted to the door, flinging it open. He dragged the damp, snow-dusted box inside, and when the tape seemed too tricky to rip with his fingers, he bit the edge of the box and tore half the lid right off with his teeth. “Unreal,” Lily murmured from the counter.

The redhead screamed. “Mor!” Kate shouted. “What are you doing?!” Kate tried to intervene as the girl grabbed a frying pan and swung it. The pan struck Mor’s forehead. He reeled back with a growl, threw a coat at Kate, then vanished again.

“Thank you. Queensbane, I’m glad there’s at least one human here who sees it.” He slouched back against his chair and folded his arms. “I am handsome,” he mumbled to himself.

“That’s right, wake up,” Cress instructed, and he patted it on the wheel so it would know he was a friendly rider, not a cruel one. “Take me to Thelma Lewis’s dwelling place,” he commanded.

“Here’s our deal: You’ll stay until Christmas, and you’ll take all the kisses you want from me in that time,” she offered with a weird, bashful grin. “I don’t accept,” he said right away again, and Kate turned to find him glaring. “Why?” “Because you’d be driven to your death if I had to do that to you. You’d never catch your breath if I took all the kisses I wanted. I don’t think I’d ever want to stop. It’s a dangerous bargain, and you should know better, Kate Kole. Never make a bargain with a fairy.”

She shrieked when she saw Ben—the loan shark—tied to a chair with a pastry clogging his mouth.

COME TRY THE BUTTER TARTS. WE GUARANTEE YOU’LL COME BACK FOR MORE IF YOU DO.

“Let’s throw him to the road in front of a speeding human chariot,” Cress suggested.

One was of Mor staring at the camera with a death glare like he didn’t want his photo taken. The caption below said: AN INTRODUCTION TO THE HIGH COURT OF THE COFFEE BEAN MEET MOR: A HANDSOME, COLD-BLOODED FAE ASSASSIN IN A CUTE BURGUNDY APRON, READY TO STAB YOUR ENEMIES AND POUR YOU A TASTY LATTE AT YOUR BECKONING. Kate squeaked a laugh

“Come to Fae Café where the coffee is hot, and the fairies are even hotter.”

Cress blinked down at the policeman. He took Kate’s hand. “I’m Kate’s boyfriend,” he announced. “We go on dates.” Kate tried to tug her hand away, but Cress’s grip turned to stone around hers. “Cress… You’re not—”

Cress eyed Lily doubtfully. “Who’s Santa? And why must I help him?” he asked. “I am not an elf!” Dranian stood from his seat, red cheeked. His sweater dangled from his fist, and he shoved it back toward Lily.

Mor appeared like a cursed nightmare that wouldn’t rest. He pushed against Cress’s shoulders, and the sled tipped forward. Cress’s royal eyes widened as the wooden board picked up speed. He screamed a little.

Cress reached the hilltop and paused to rest. A minute later, he walked up behind Mor, planted his foot against the assassin’s back, and shoved him forward. Cress flashed a delicious smile when a powdered-faced Mor stopped rolling at the bottom of the hill and looked up at him with a snarl.