Addicted to You (Addicted, #1)

by Krista Ritchie

I immediately want to grab back, hold his hand and tug him to my chest. Instead, he finds his glass. I can’t believe I’m envious of dishware.

I belong in the shadows and the cobwebs. Connor clearly lives in the spotlight.

“Will your uncle really care? Forty grand is nothing.” “He drank a car, Connor,”

Ryke also stands a good inch above Lo, probably six-foot-three, and carries himself with that extra assurance, exuding a strong sense of masculinity. Lo does too, but there’s a small difference. I can barely place it. Where Lo is all sharpness, this guy is hard-lined. Like ice versus stone.

Ryke ignores my comment and turns to Connor who has gone quiet. “Why are you with these two? Aren’t you usually surrounded by a pack of people trying to kiss your ass?” “I’m broadening my social reach.”

Lo lies on the longest seat, eyes closed and cradling his flask like a teddy bear. I sit beside him and rest my hand on his ankles.

For the first time, Ryke unfastens his gaze from Lo. “You think I could stand around and watch Matt drunkenly grab a girl?” “Lots of people would,” I mumble. His brows scrunch into something hard and dark, making me more reserved and cautious. “Yeah? Then people fucking suck.”

The picture should be comical since Lo wears red and black spandex, looking like a wounded X-Men. But I imagine Lo waking up and seeing Green Arrow assuredly holding him in his arms. He would freak out. And not in a fan-boy kind of way.

My nerves jump again when I realize this may be the most testosterone to ever cross the threshold of my apartment. Maybe not. I did have that moment where I brought two guys home.

“Are you always this defensive with people who save your ass?” Yes.

“Promises from Lo are like bars at 2 a.m.—empty.”

Being in a real relationship was supposed to fix the kinks in our lives. It should’ve made our problems easier. We no longer have to pretend. We can be ourselves. We’re free from one lie. Isn’t this the part where our love overcomes our addictions? Where our problems magically solve from a kiss and a promise?

No one told me you can love someone and still be miserable. How is that possible?

“Loren Hale!” Connor calls. “You better wake up. You promised me gym. I want gym.”

I can’t say no to this. I can barely say no to anything. He’s buying his forgiveness through my weakness. It’s like me screwing up and sending him a gift basket full of expensive whiskey.

“We should ditch him.” It’s the easiest solution to our problems. He’s the interloper, the guy forcing us to confront our problems, to truly stare and see them for what they are. I don’t want to think about any of it. I also blame Ryke for planting guilt-ridden seeds in my head.

“Are you coming?” Soon apparently.

It’s inhuman to require a general science credit for all majors. In two years, I’ll forget everything I learn anyway, and my plans don’t involve going into business for some pharmaceutical company. When will I ever need to know about mitosis?

“You do realize that sounds sexual,” I blurt, my eyes widening in regret. Why did I just say that?! “And maybe you have a perverted mind.” I can’t argue with that, but I have officially roasted into a new shade of red.

“I’m studying, Ryke.” “Really. That’s what you were doing?” He rubs his jaw. “I could have sworn you were people-watching and eating the end of your pencil.”

He has a face that could force girls to their knees, but so does Lo. I can’t imagine the two of them squaring off. Ice vs. Stone. Sharpness vs. Hardness. Cold vs. Hot. They’re different, yet somehow, they’re still alike.

“We don’t need your help! I can take care of him.” I point to my chest. “I’ve taken care of him my whole life.” “Yeah?” Ryke’s eyes narrow heatedly. “How many times have you watched him pass out? Tossing a few aspirins isn’t helping him, Lily. He has a fucking problem.”

“Why do you want to fix him so badly?” Ryke stares at me with more empathy than I thought he was capable of. “My father is an alcoholic, and I don’t want Lo to turn out like him. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”

No second party has ever offered aid before. And if Lo was given the same deal to help me, would he take it? I know he would.

“We have company,” I remind him. “Like I give a shit,” Lo whispers.

“Ever hear of Google?” “You mean that little search engine on that thing called the internet? No, I’ve never heard of it before. Can you explain that to me too?”

I try to find words to refute like he’s nice. He’s not. He’s lonely. He’s not. “He means well.”

Why can’t this be easier? I want to be able to tell Lo to stop, but he won’t. No matter what I say, he’ll keep drinking. This feels like my only option.

He releases his hold, and I watch his cheeks sharpen to ice. My knees hit the floorboards, and I pull down his boxer-briefs in a systematic routine. He keeps his hand on the back of my head, and I try to forget the sadness in his eyes, the kind that can call on silent tears. I try to remember the passion, the fire, and for this moment, I make sure to drown him in pleasure.

Our relationship is dangling on thin strings that threaten to tear. I feel it. I’m sure he feels it as well. His biggest worry was being able to satisfy me, but that’s hardly a problem. Our selfishness wedges between us. Neither of us is willing to give up what we love for each other. Not yet. And I’m not sure what it’s going to take to let go of our addictions.

“Rose?” Connor heard the security attendant’s voice. My eyes widen. I forgot Rose dislikes Connor. “Uh…yeah.” Amusement swims in Connor’s bright blue eyes. “She’s not going to be pleased to see me.” Lo hands him a beer and finds his seat on the couch. “Join the fucking club. She hates me, and yet she keeps torturing herself by showing up here.”

“What is Richard doing here?” she hisses. “He just showed up.” I hand her a steaming mug and place my palm on her back, guiding her to the living room. Lo flashes her a dry smile. “Does that remind you of someone?” “Shut up,” Rose snaps. “Do not compare me to him.”

I glance back at Connor and Rose and realize they’ve been pretty much silent. They just stare at each other for a really, really long time, as though talking through their eyes. “Is this what smart people do?” I whisper to Lo. “They must have some superhuman telepathic power that we don’t have.”

“You both really can’t be friends with this asshole. Actually”—she points at Lo—“I believe you can, but you, Lily, really?” Lo smirks. “Keep it coming, Rose. You’re just making me love the guy more.” Oh jeez.

“What happened to Charlie and Stacey?” she questions. They never existed.

Rose snorts. “You’re always the same, Connor, raising yourself on some prodigious level. I bet your biggest dream is to kiss the ass of Bill Gates.” Just when I think Rose’s comment has penetrated Connor’s cool, calm, know-it-all exterior, his thousand-dollar smile widens. He takes a step forward, threatening to breach Rose’s safe space. Lo whispers under his breath, “Protect your balls, Connor.”

“Says the girl whose clothing line just got dropped by Saks.” He inspects her tailored dress. “Is that piece extinct yet? Or can your two customers go buy it at Plato’s Closet?”

“So you read the newspaper, Connor. Congratulations, a well-informed citizen of Pennsylvania. Let’s throw confetti and have a parade.” “Or you could go out with me tonight.” What?! Lo chokes on his alcohol.

Oh. I’d like Rose to give Connor a chance. If anyone can verbally keep up with her, he can. But she pushes men away as much as I used to lead them in.

Oh no, Rose, he’s not joking. I want to tell her that this isn’t some cruel trick to make fun of her. She has guards up so she won’t get hurt. It’s easier to be cold than to feel the sting of disappointment.

“Why take me?” she asks. “You know everyone. I’m sure you can manage to find some rich man to schmooze.” “True, but that’s not the company I feel like sharing tonight. I’d rather take you, a beautiful, intelligent girl from Princeton.”

“And this isn’t a pity invite?” “I already said it wasn’t. Maybe you should get your hearing looked at. I wouldn’t want to beat you unfairly in the next Bowl tournament.”

“Please, you wouldn’t be able to beat Princeton even with a cheat sheet.” “Says the girl who got distracted by...

Lo whispers to me, “Are we in an alternate universe?” I nod. “Yep, we’ve definitely left Earth 616.” And I love it.

“You’re crazy,” Lo tells Connor. “I thought you were just a little insane for wanting to hang out with Lily and me, but now, you’re certifiable.”

I know letting Ryke into our lives will complicate things. It’ll be harder for me to disappear without questions. It’ll be harder for Lo to drink without being chastised like a child. But it’s too late to go back now, and I wouldn’t want to.

“Can I use your dryer?” he asks, already pulling off his shirt. Oh my God. I look away, and Lo closes the Cosmo magazine and tosses it at my face so I’ll stop gawking.

“About Rose…” “Yes?” “I like you, Connor. I do, but I also know you’re a social climber. I may look small and not put up much of a fight when it comes to words, but I’d find a way to hurt you if you hurt her. She should mean more to a guy than a paycheck and a last name.”

“I promise you, that my intentions are pure. And I think it’s sweet you’re looking out for Rose, but she’s more than capable of taking care of herself, which is one of the many reasons why I want to pursue her.” “What’s another reason?” I test him. He smiles. “I won’t have to taxingly explain to her menu items in a real French restaurant.” He knows she’s fluent? “I won’t have to explain financial statements or dividends. I’ll be able to discuss anything and everything in the world, and she’ll have an answer.”

“Are you going to ask me questions?” “Do you have something against them?” Ryke wonders. “Question-phobic?”